Murder ReportVideo

The E3 2012 Murder Report: Sony

Look out, humans, non-humans, and watercraft! Sony’s in town, and death is in the air.

By John Teti • June 6, 2012

Check out the Microsoft Murder Report and the Nintendo Murder Report.

Everybody knows the old saying about E3 press conferences: Come for the wholesale murder, stay for the continued wholesale murder. In celebration of the expo’s kill-riffic qualities, we’re crunching the numbers this week on the Microsoft, Sony, and Nintendo press conferences. Who racks up the highest body count? And what about the stories behind the deaths?

In the second edition of the Murder Report (here’s the first one if you missed it), Sony can’t quite match Microsoft’s number, but the company still blazes a trail of slaughter that’s just super. Plus, they destroyed four boats! That doesn’t count, but extra credit for extra effort, Sony.

(Warning: Graphic imagery, as you might expect.)

Share this with your friends and enemies

Write a scintillating comment

  • RidleyFGJ

    What Sony lacked in quantity was made up by the, erm, quality of their murders.

    • WCOG

       Jesus, that ‘Last of Us’ game is gonna give people PTSD. Microsoft had you shooting aliens, this game has you smashing the head of a dude who was probably just looking for food on the corner of a hotel nightstand over and over again. And then he helplessly begs you for his life before you blow his head off with a shotgun.

      It’s getting a little too real, now, developers. And I’m saying this as a complete sociopath. It’s not good for the kids.

  • http://www.gildedgreen.com/ Girard

    Depending on the Pikmin clips shown, Nintendo could eke their way ahead via non-human deaths…

    • http://www.avclub.com/users/ghaleonq,4597/ GhaleonQ

      Brilliant.  I mean, then we have to open up just war theory, whether Pikmin ghosts indicate a Pikmin afterlife, and whether “do not kill” is the same as “do not murder.”

      I missed the Nihon Shokimin treasure in Pikmin 2, apparently.

      • http://www.gildedgreen.com/ Girard

         Gosh, I hope it didn’t count as murder the first time I ran through a puddle with 100+ red Pikmin in tow…

    • dreadguacamole

        The Little King: History’s greatest monster?

  • X_the_Anonymous_Man_or_Woman

    This report needs more murder. And muffins.

  • RichardLAnderson
  • info

    You could do exactly the same to Television and form one day compress all the footage from all the different channels  to add up to 1000 people killed, if not more.

    The fact is Mature games are only a small portion of games sold, but these anti gaming people do not get any facts or try to give an objective view.

    The other problem is that these mature games are intended for MATURE people but they portray it as though they are intended for kids.
    It is the parents responsibility to ensure their kids do not watch any mature content TV, Music, Movies, Theater, Books even Video Games.
    I as a mature adult have the right to watch what ever I like, you have no right to stop me.
    You have a right NOT to watch what you don’t like.

    Here are some links that should enlighten you.

    http://videogames.procon.org/view.resource.php?resourceID=003627

    http://www.wired.com/gamelife/2011/06/violent-videogames-minors/

     

    • http://www.avclub.com/users/merve,96925/ Merve

      This isn’t an anti-video-game-violence video, as far as I can tell. It’s just poking fun at how much violence was on display at the E3 press conferences. If you want to read a deeper meaning into it, the video might get people thinking about why video game companies use death and destruction to market video games that probably don’t include as much death and destruction as the trailers suggest.

      • http://gameological.com/author/johnteti/ John Teti

        No, the first guy actually had it right. The video was a secret plot to rid the world of video games. A plot that has now been foiled. CURSE YOU, “INFO”!!! ALWAYS ONE STEP AHEAD.

        • http://www.avclub.com/users/merve,96925/ Merve

          John Teti = Dr. Claw

          Well, that’s one mystery solved.

      • AHyperkineticLagomorph

        Or to put it another way, the video pokes fun at the industry’s insistence that the ONLY way to engage a large chunk of the gaming population is through the overwhelming application of violence. Because all gamers are *insert unflattering stereotype here*

    • dreadguacamole

       You know, as far as I can tell mature games (with few exceptions) are intended for twelve-year-olds of all ages.

    • http://rmyung.tumblr.com/ rmyung

      As someone who just recently got a “modern” console, I’ve been disappointed in how many of the “best” games (as ranked by Metacritic) are either shooters or free-form world exploration games, with an emphasis on violence(GTA, Assassins Creed, etc).  The “M” games may be a small portion of the games made.. but they’re the ones with the most production quality and highest ratings.  It’s amazing how many reviews rave about the graphic and brutal natures of the violence in the games.  This seems to be a MAJOR point of emphasis.
      The non-violent games seem mostly to be aimed at casual fans who don’t read game reviews: sports games, kids games, dance games.
      As someone catching up on 5 or 6 years worth of games, there should be much more variety to choose from.  I’m not interested in playing 10 different shooters- one or two good ones are enough.  I don’t consider the addition of more “Mature” content to be a reason to favor these games.If the film industry was like the game industry, we’d get a constant stream of summer blockbusters and comic book movies(yeah, I know we already do).. and they’d also win the Oscars.  

  • David

    Why didn’t you count the part where Jack Tretton murdered the Xbox One?