Sawbuck Gamer

Baseball Attacker

Base Invaders

Baseball Attacker? Where’s Ichiro when you need him?

By Drew Toal • August 3, 2012

Sawbuck Gamer is our daily review of a free or cheap ($10 or less) game.

Baseball Attacker
Creator: Kodama
Platforms: Browser
Price: Free

On Tenacious D’s latest album, Jack Black and Kyle Gass have a song called “Deth Starr.” It’s about building a million Deth Starrs, where there will be lots of rocking, and boning and democracy. Anyway, this beautiful galactic project is threatened by the appearance of an evil alien squid. Black issues a call to arms: “Join up ships, we got to let it rips. We got to blow that bitch to another dimension!” Yeah, so it’s not Woody Guthrie.

The point is, evil alien squids are now a “thing,” and in Baseball Attacker, you play this guy who may or may not be Tom Selleck—it’s all in Japanese, so I can’t tell—repelling alien squid and other invading space weirdos with a baseball bat. These hostiles rain down bombs or explosive alien droppings, and your job as Mr. Baseball is to swat these things back at the attackers as fast as you can. You can jump and swing the bat like a champion, but the game quickly becomes impossible as the alien fleet descends and you’re apparently the only one on earth with the diamond skills to fight it. With his near-mythical contact rate, Ichiro might be able to hold them off, but for people with a normal on-base percentage, this game has a shorter lifespan than Curt Schilling’s 38 Studios. What, too soon?

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