Sawbuck Gamer

Planet Floop

The Not-So-Great Escape

Planet Floop makes you an accomplice in the galaxy’s biggest jailbreak.

By Drew Toal • August 24, 2012

Sawbuck Gamer is our daily review of a free or cheap ($10 or less) game.

As the late Carl Sagan traveled the cosmos in his pimp, ’70s future-style spaceship, he revealed to us the vastness of space, in all its possibility and splendor. Sagan was a natty dresser, and he was also a champion of the possibility of extra-terrestrial life. If he was right, and they’re anything like the denizens of Planet Floop, it’s probably for the best that Sagan never lived to see first contact.

The Floopians are, simply put, the universe’s biggest jerks. They’re so reviled that the entire planet has been exiled to space prison, with no hope of parole. Fortunately for Floop, President Tyrone J. Slipshine has a plan to bust out. He’s acquired some planetary repulsers so that an extra-dimensional being (you) can push Floop through a series of wormholes and freedom.

The player must strategically place repulsers (and later tractor beams) to maneuver Floop into each portal with a minimum of casualties. When your repulser settings go wrong, the planet hits the wall of the space jail cell, killing citizens of Floop in a rock-and-hard-place holocaust. Later in the game other hostile planets are introduced. They have nuclear arsenals and a grudge to bear. Nudging Floop along in its galactic jailbreak isn’t an exact science, but neither is it particularly difficult. Just bounce the globe around and hope that pockets of Floop’s citizens manage to survive. It’s a silly game (that didn’t always work right in Chrome), but, as Sagan said, “Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were [or should be], but without it we go nowhere.”

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21 Responses to “The Not-So-Great Escape”

  1. JudgeReinhold says:

    No thanks. I’ll stick to arguing in favor of “studying” over “crack” in Argument Champion. It makes me feel like I’m one of those anti-drug people your school used to bring in to tell you that all drugs will kill you, and all studying will make you President one day. 

  2. Spacemonkey Mafia says:

    I was looking forward to reading about Final Fantasy Dimensions in an upcoming Sawbuck Gamer, but having just found out it’s releasing for $30, it no longer qualifies for this feature by a stretch.

    • doyourealize says:

      I’m still excited for that game, though.

      • Spacemonkey Mafia says:

        I’m excited for the game as well, and was willing to dole out the established Square Enix iOS pricing model amount.  But $30?
           To me that sounds like something directly from an rpg:
           “Yes, I’ll sell you this Fairie Bell you need to access the Pickled Shrine. How about… 1,000,000,000,000 Gold!” 
        Now I’m going to have to go on some massive quest for Square Enix and return to them a dearly desired item they’ll accept in lieu of payment. Looks like I’ll have to invest in something a bit better than my wooden sword.

  3. Merve says:

    I like the game’s sense of humour, but half the time the clicks don’t work, which leads to frustration.

  4. caspiancomic says:

    Oh man, the concept here is okay but the presentation is really pretty bad. The UI is overloaded and confusing, there’s a lot of pointless graphical effects, for some reason there are huge walls of text at the beginning of every level, the whole thing is just much bigger than it needs to be, etc. I went about three levels deep before it was too hideous for my delicate palette. 

  5. Brainstrain says:

    Interesting! Short. Watching the blood spurt as the tiny representatives of millions squish against the unfeeling walls of a level is oddly satisfying. That’s all.