Old-Time Treasure Appraise ShowVideo


Arthur M. Gameological is riding high with today’s appraisal.

By Jason Reich • September 19, 2012

As the “Best Treasure Ever” Subjective Judgment Bracket enters the quarterfinal round, we’ve been taking an in-depth look at a few of the competing items with our Old-Time Treasure Appraise Show. Today, we examine a rare artifact from the animal kingdom with our appraiser, Arthur M. Gameological III, who is well into his second round of vodka gimlets. Joystick Master Pete Strackmeier joins us again as host, mainly because we just feel bad for the guy.

(In case you missed it: In Monday’s inaugural episode, we appraised the Super Mario Bros. 3 Warp Whistle, and yesterday featured the “I Would Have Been Your Daddy” Skull from Halo.)

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  • caspiancomic

    I keep waiting for the day that Teti’s delivery of “joystick master” stops being funny, and I feel like I’m going to be waiting a long time.

  • The_Misanthrope

    You know, I have nothing against GameStop and its overbearing presence in the games-retail market, but it is nice to see a smaller local games retailer getting some attention.

    • blue vodka lemonade

       I don’t think I’ve actually seen a non-GameStop games retailer in at least five or six years at this point. There used to be an EB Games at the mall by me, I think, but it closed quite a while ago. Our mall, for some reason, now has 2 Gamestops, and then a stripmall that’s less than a mile from the mall has another one. They breed like rabbits.

      • Effigy_Power

        Wasn’t EB bought out by GameStop anyways?

        • blue vodka lemonade

           I think so, but our EB Games closed-out and shuttered and became a Hollister. It was pretty tragic.

        • http://www.avclub.com/users/merve,96925/ Merve

          @green_gin_rickey:disqus: True story: I’ve never been inside a Hollister. I’m too scared to go in.

      • Citric

        I think all the retailers I see are still branded EB Games, but the BEST game store in my province (Saskatchewan) is Hi-Tech Gametraders in Saskatoon, since they always have a fantastic inventory and weird obscure stuff too.

        I do not work at Hi-Tech Gametraders in Saskatoon. To prove it, I will also note that the store is cramped as shit.

        • blue vodka lemonade

          See, you and @twitter-493417375:disqus both have local independent game stores, but you’re also both in Canada. I can’t quite speak for the rest of the country, and I know that my hometown is especially bad for this, but I think that where I live has a grand total of 2 independent businesses.

          One of those is a gross-but-cheap 24-hour diner that stays in business because they’re close to the high school and don’t “card hard,” and the other is a comic book store which might also sell drugs on the side. I sense a pattern, there.

      • http://twitter.com/Evad_Dalrymp David Dalrymple

        There’s one independent game store left in Halifax. One of my favourite things about it is that they sell hand-crafted, custom plush figures. Some would call them bootlegs, but I call them beautiful. 

  • Cloks

    “I’m somewhat of an amateur butcher.”
    I regret the time that I’ll inevitably introduce myself to someone using this line already.

    • SisterMaryFrancis

      It’s too late.

      “You’re part of this now.”

  • Staggering Stew Bum

    I loved that awkward pause after the guy mentioned his compost heap.
    My favourite moment of Undead Nightmare was accidentally exploding my supposedly unkillable horse Pestilence with the blunderbuss. Killing old timey zombies from the back of a rainbow and butterfly spewing unicorn was also a highlight.

    • Effigy_Power

      I really have to get that Undead addon… I am loathe to spend money on anything that shambles or moans for brains, but with the original game being such a blast, it feels as if zombies might not drag it down enough to make it suck.

      • dreadguacamole

          Actual quote from the game’s introduction:
        “Jack, be kind to your mother, Abigail, teach the boy right from wrong; both of you, stop bitin’ chunks outta people!”

         Go buy it already!

      • Enkidum

        The intro is one of the best cutscene sequences I’ve ever seen in a game, especially if you have some emotional involvement with Jack, John, and Abigail. Which you presumably do since you finished RDR. Completely hilarious, perfect b-movie.

    • http://www.avclub.com/users/merve,96925/ Merve

      This guy lives in NYC and has a “compost heap out back?” I call shenanigans.

      • Effigy_Power

        He means New Jersey.

  • PaulFORegan

    I love the series, and I also like that there are now two different Onion-affiliated web series about appraisal: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0C7941B0228E0240&feature=plcp

    Now I want to see a crossover.

  • http://twitter.com/TimBavlnka Tim Bavlnka

    I don’t understand the premise of this. 

    • HobbesMkii

      Arthur M. Gameological III is the founder of the Gameological Society, Pete Strackmeier is an old VHS instructional video host, and it’s obviously a spoof of Antiques Roadshow, but with Arthur in the role of the appraiser. 

      And it’s all based on the Treasure Bracket that’s going on now. What’s not to get?

    • http://gameological.com/author/johnteti/ John Teti

      And here I thought the Venn diagram of video game fans and Antiques Roadshow aficionados was a perfect circle.

      Tim, there’s a little more setup in the first episode (linked above). Thanks for watching!

      • http://gameological.com/author/jasonreich/ Jason Reich

        We have an outlier! Get me Gladwell!

        • Electric Dragon

          Forget Gladwell! Get me Sorkin! I smell Oscars!

          (Edit – actually, Liars and Outliers is the name of Bruce Schneier’s latest book)

      • Spacemonkey Mafia

        He’s busy fluffing his afro.

  • Spacemonkey Mafia

    What does one pair with Death Horse meat?

       Is it piquant, benefiting from a cool, sweet Riesling?
       Or more of a earthy, gamy flesh, complimenting a spicy Cabernet?

       The snob editors at Wine Spectator refuse to answer my emails concerning this question. 

  • SteveHeisler

    JOYstick MASTerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr