Old-Time Treasure Appraise ShowVideo

Staff Meeting

In the series finale, Arthur M. Gameological III weighs in on a truly unique piece of loot from Skyrim.

By Jason Reich • September 20, 2012

Though many of the artifacts in our “Best Treasure Ever” bracket have magical effects, none of them can hold a candle to the magic that happens when Pete Strackmeier and Arthur M. Gameological III join forces. In this fourth and final installment of the Old-Time Treasure Appraise Show, Mr. Gameological explains the provenance of an item from the world of Oblivion and Skyrim, while Pete Strackmeier returns to do whatever it is he does.

(In case you missed it: In Monday’s inaugural episode, we appraised the Super Mario Bros. 3 Warp Whistle, Tuesday featured the “I Would Have Been Your Daddy” Skull from Halo, and yesterday brought an encounter with a Red Dead Redemption Death Horse.)

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  • Aurora Boreanaz

    “2000 Septims?  I could get more than that just by randomly wabbajacking things until they became money!  I won’t part with it for less than five sacks of potatoes, two horses, three concubines and a Los Angeles bus token!”

    Alternatively, “I wabbajack any time I see Aela the Huntress!”

    Finally, the sweet roll bit was comedy gold!  Nice work!

    • http://gameological.com/author/johnteti/ John Teti

      Thank you, and thanks for all the encouraging comments people left throughout the week on the series. We worked hard on it and it really feels awesome when the people who enjoy it take the time to give a thumbs-up. Helps give us the energy to keep trying to do cool/fun stuff.

      • http://gameological.com/author/jasonreich/ Jason Reich

        Seconded. I’m glad the readers enjoyed these – they were a blast to put together. Thanks for all the great comments.

        Also, since we sadly didn’t get to hear it in this one…all together now…

        JOYstick MAStuhrrrrrrrrr…

        • Aurora Boreanaz

          Also, from the first episode, Pete gesturing to the top of the screen as the title appears at the bottom.

          Oh, and “Direct-to-VHS Joystick Master”

        • Fixda Fernback

          @AuroraBoreanaz:disqus That was easily one of my biggest LOL moments in the series (the misdirected gesture), which is saying something because this series was just fucking amazing.

      • Effigy_Power

        More importantly, that sweetroll was responsible for voting up the Tanoki suit, so justice has been done.
        Long live the Wabbajack.

      • The Tuck Pendleton Machine

        This series was delightful.

        Well done to all involved!  And I don’t say that often.

      • http://twitter.com/Evad_Dalrymp David Dalrymple

        When this site was announced, I knew it would rapidly become the smartest and classiest gaming site on the net. You’ve also managed to become the most fun gaming site on the net, too. This has been one amazing week.

    • blue vodka lemonade

       What a delicious sweetroll.

      Also, because this is basically the entire reason I post here (not really,) could I call on the wisdom of the ancients/commentariat to explain Aela the Huntress? There are a lot of marriageable ladytypes in Skyrim, so why is that one such an Internet Thing?

      • HobbesMkii

        The Internet thrives on exposed werewolf sideboob.

      • Aurora Boreanaz

        I was just attempting to make a phrase similar to the AV Club comment section’s “I jerk off whenever I see Anne Hathaway!”

        I have seen several discussions about whether or not Aela is attractive, most going back and forth about whether the face paint is the only reason she is.

        I think – it’s a video game.  And the hottest woman in it doesn’t speak and gets murdered a day after you meet her.

      • Effigy_Power

        Mjoll the Lioness. Mjoll the Lioness. Mjoll the Lioness. MJOLL THE LIONESS!!!

        Also I wabbajacked Aela and she turned into a turnip.

        • blue vodka lemonade

           Mjoll The Lioness kind of scares me, but also kind of reminds me of Daryl Hannah.

          The straight dudes and lesbians of Skyrim definitely get a better selection than the bro-oriented do, I must say.

        • Fluka

          @green_gin_rickey:disqus Why do all the men look like they were constructed out of dirty leather??

          And why the hell can’t I marry Brynjolf?!

        • GaryX

          @Fluka:disqus I mean, people living in the wilds like that are going to look fucking weathered no mater what.

        • Effigy_Power

          Trust me, if Mjoll had had any personality left after I gave her her stupid sword left, she’d have been my big, handsome bride.
          As it stands she had precious little to contribute after I wiggled away to get her sword.
          I feel used.

    • sirslud

      Agreed, I loved em all but this was the best of the bunch.

  • Slither74
  • ShrikeTheAvatar

    These are great.  Just the right mixture of “reference” humor, absurdity, and great acting.

    Are the people acting opposite Arthur actors or just volunteer friends?

    • http://gameological.com/author/johnteti/ John Teti

      They’re actors from the New York improv circuit. They did an awesome job.

      • Cloks

        These people are actors? My suspension of disbelief is shattered.

        • George_Liquor

           Acting!

        • http://twitter.com/Evad_Dalrymp David Dalrymple

          Just like the real Antiques roadshow!

  • http://www.gildedgreen.com/ Girard

    I hope that furiously noshing Pete Strackmeier is a teaser for the upcoming Teti/Strackmeier episode of The Digest.

    • Spacemonkey Mafia

      You know… I’ve been thinking about that, and after doing some looking around, I’m beginning to think that might not be possible.
         I don’t want to alarm you, but I suspect there’s something fishy about the relationship between Mr. Teti and “Mr. Strackmeier”.

      • Aurora Boreanaz

        Anything is possible with the magic of special effects!

        • Spacemonkey Mafia

          They’re what’s allowed me to be “married”.

      • Cloks

        Of course! They’re Siamese twins, only separated by the cruel Hollywood magic known as “Greene Screening”!

    • Effigy_Power

      I would draw the shit out of that.

      • http://www.gildedgreen.com/ Girard

         Would? You will.

        • Effigy_Power

          I am already looking up iconic film-covers featuring mirrors… and I have some Twoface ideas.

        • HobbesMkii

           @Effigy_Power:disqus How about that one from Ides of March where it’s half Gosling’s face and half Clooney on TIME magazine

  • HobbesMkii

    This could be just what the Wabbajack needs to catapult it into the lead by 10:00PM!

    • dmikester

      I was just about to say, I haven’t been all *that* enthusiastic about the Wabbajack in the tournament, but this was great and got me into its corner.  Now hopefully, since I’m a fan, I won’t get turned into a sweetroll or a copy of the Grey’s Anatomy game.

      • HobbesMkii

         I made this statement before I realized that the Skyrim Nexus had flooded the poll, and now I feel bad about how easily it appears the Wabbajack is skating towards victory.

        • Effigy_Power

          Is that what that was? I was wondering how the ‘jack suddenly jumped…
          “Nixon trails with one vote. It’s 7:59 and here comes the robot vote. And the robot vote is in. Nixon wins.”
          “A head in the polls” is the episode that keeps on giving.

  • Spacemonkey Mafia

    Arthur M. Gameological III is a goddamn national treasure.  Why isn’t he hosting the Tony Awards this year?

  • Mugglefucker

    All I know is this bitch turned the Dwemer Centurion outside the elevator to Blackreach into a sweetroll so everything else can go fuck itself.

  • http://www.facebook.com/amravasio Alejandro Matias Ravasio

    “And ‘that’ is not a word I say often”.

    I lol’d so verily hard to that. I did not see it coming.

  • caspiancomic

    FOUR MORE DAYS! FOUR MORE DAYS!

  • Citric

    When was the last great moments in voice acting? I miss that, though I enjoy Arthur M. Gameological III interacting with other people.

  • doyourealize

    Best one yet, I have to say. There’s even a little story that goes along with, Strackmeier you cannibal you.

  • Fixda Fernback

    Hahaha, “I’m sorry… are you saying words? Is that a word, that you’re saying?”

  • http://www.facebook.com/jacob.gaston.10 Jacob Gaston

    let me guess somebody stole your sweet role 

  • Famous_Original_Feigenbaum

    I used to be the Champion of Cyrodiil, but then I took an arrow to the brain.

    • http://twitter.com/d4m_d33zy DJ Deezy ThaTruth

      Ha

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002136349258 Amauri Silvestre Pavão

    Is it me or Mr. Arthur M. Gamelogical III really looks like Sheogorath?

    • http://twitter.com/d4m_d33zy DJ Deezy ThaTruth

      I wonder when he read the script, was he like “What the hell is this… wabbajack? why do I have to say it 3 times”. Note: Saying anything more then once makes it funni #TruStory. The guy’s a true thespian. 

  • http://twitter.com/d4m_d33zy DJ Deezy ThaTruth

    Ha… sad that he ate her brother.. ahh thus is the cycle of Life #WabbaJack #LoL | Humorous & Klassy Video.