Review

Resident Evil 6

Six Shooter

Resident Evil 6 is everything anybody could want. Too bad.

By Scott Jones • October 2, 2012

Resident Evil fans are a notoriously unhappy lot. They seem to find something to bellyache about with each successive installment in the series. First, they complained about the static point of view of the games. Then they griped that they couldn’t shoot their weapons and move at the same time. Then they wanted the ability to crouch behind cover and pop out to shoot at encroaching zombies.

Like Homer Simpson’s $82,000 albatross of a car—which featured extra-large cup-holders, three horns, and an engine that caused people “to think the world’s coming to an end”—Resident Evil 6 is not only the most comprehensive Resident Evil game to date; this is the mea culpa fans have been demanding. It’s also a monkey’s paw-style cautionary tale: Careful what you wish for.

Resident Evil 6 features no less than four storylines. If you’re looking for a slower-paced, traditional Resident Evil experience, complete with throat-bound undead dobermans, choose the Leon and Helena campaign. If it’s Gears Of War-style run-and-gun action you crave, choose the Chris and Piers campaign. But what if you’re in the mood for something between those two extremes—a few of those traditional Resident Evil-type scares mixed with some of that sweet, run and gun Gears-style combat? No problem there. Jake and Sherry have your number. Or go it alone, Metal Gear-style; the game’s unlockable fourth mission is all about stealth. It features Chinese secret agent Ada Wong, who has apparently undergone a surgical procedure to have all of her Chinese-ness removed. She now looks like Frances “Baby” Houseman from the 1987 film Dirty Dancing for reasons that are never addressed.

Resident Evil 6

The four campaigns all overlap via awkward coincidences, not unlike the way Fonzi from Happy Days would occasionally show up on Laverne & Shirley. These encounters typically play out via cutscenes like this:

“Hey! What are you guys doing here?”

“What are you guys doing here?”

[Insert shot of knowing looks featuring several raised eyebrows. Monster comes crashing through a wall]

“Look out! Here comes an X!”

“Aiiieeeeeeeeeee!”

“We’ll catch up with you guys later!”

[Exit stage right]

Speaking of “X”es, they are legion. There is The Shirtless Thing With The Pulsing Goiter. There is The Half-Spider-Half-Man Thing. There is The Thing With About A Million Boobs Which Walks Like Kool-Aid Man’s Prancy Cousin. Finally, there is the game’s chief villain, who you know is the villain from the outset because he has a pocket watch, a three-quarter-length Colonel Sanders overcoat, and a Colonel Sanders beard.

Later in the game, after you’ve “beaten” Colonel Sanders, and his “corpse” disappears into a river Helena says to Leon, “Do you think we killed it?” Leon responds, “I don’t know. But we did all we could.” This dialogue captures the essence of the nervous heart that beats at the center of Resident Evil 6. It’s not a stretch to imagine this bit of dialogue actually being spoken by the game’s makers, comforting one another at the game’s wrap party. You can almost see them, clinking their cold bottles of Sapporo together.

Resident Evil 6

And they did do all they could, didn’t they? Here, now you can take cover behind little barricades just like every other game. Here’s your ability to move and shoot. Here’s the great unshackling that you’ve all been pestering us for since 1996. Here’s your Mercenaries mode, and your damn medals to collect, your online and your offline. Here is one of the biggest games of the year, and what should be the crowning moment of an 18-year-old series. Minds should be blown. Yet the whole enterprise—despite a pedigree that included longtime series producer Hiroyuki Kobayashi—in its need to be all things to all gamers, ultimately comes off as insecure as a teenager with a new pimple.

Defeated enemies in Resident Evil 6 typically leave behind either a bit of ammunition or experience points (which physically manifest as chess pieces for some reason). But sometimes you’ll draw a stingy corpse that leaves jack shit behind. Whenever that happens, you’ll find yourself standing next to a magically disintegrating corpse, waiting for an extra two, maybe three seconds to see if something might still arrive. It’s hard not to feel cheated in these moments—cheated, then embarrassed when you realize that you’re still loitering on the spot where a corpse has vanished. And that reward you’re waiting for? The reward you’re sure you deserve? Slowly, it dawns on you that it’s not coming. You reload your gun and move on.

Resident Evil 6
Developer: Capcom
Publisher: Capcom
Platform: PlayStation 3, Xbox 360
Reviewed on: PlayStation 3
Price: $60
Rating: M

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132 Responses to “Six Shooter”

  1. NarcolepticPanda says:

    My sole experience with the Resident Evil franchise comes from the demo for this game and watching Tim play an original PlayStation version in Spaced. Needless to say, won’t be buying it.

    But speaking of games that throw in everything and the kitchen sink to please the fans, that trend seems to be very much a modern phenonomen. Such as series that add multiplayer that’s kind of…unneccessary. (Bioshock. Mass Effect) It’s not that the multiplayer is bad, it just seems like it comes at the expense of trying to make the single player better.

    Hopefully this trend doesn’t continue, or else Resident Evil 12 will offer the ability to play as all the characters ever with all your friends, both imaginary and real, on all your electronic devices, including

    • NarcolepticPanda says:

      Well, thanks Disqus. You posted that comment before I was done typing, and now I can’t edit it.

    • Channel 8 News says:

      I don’t think adding multiplayer to games is necessarily a way of appeasing fans, mainly because I don’t know of anyone who is actually happy with tacked on multiplayer.

      I have a hunch that Microsoft pushes for multiplayer to be added to its popular franchises (and multiplayer achievements) as a way to incentivze the purchasing of an Xbox Live Gold subscription.

      • dreadguacamole says:

         Nah, you can’t pin that one on microsoft.
         Conventional wisdom is that multiplayer adds much more longevity to games than singleplayer modes; the main incentive for that, I imagine, is to keep the games out of the trade-in bins for as long as possible.

        • NarcolepticPanda says:

          Finishing my thought from earlier, multiplayer has to be developed though, and that takes time from developing a better single player experience. Therefore, games that SHOULD have enough longevity in single player, get tacked on multiplayer instead of improved single player.

    • ChumJoely says:

      I work at , and we have had promising game projects get killed because they couldn’t figure out how to shoehorn multiplayer or any kind of online mode into it.

      I think the reason is because (our marketing people believe that) games with no multiplayer/online are seen as having no replay value once you’ve beaten the story mode; and since people are buying a lot fewer games these days than a few years back, there’s a deathly fear of trying to sell a game that has less than the maximum amount of value packed into it.  Because if we don’t, then gamers will necessarily buy some other game instead on their yearly game budget (of 2-3 games max)– presumably one which DOES maximize replay value with online multiplayer.

  2. Fluka says:

    Oh Leon.  Your hair is straight from the romantic fantasies of a 1990s middle-school girl.  

    (Also, as a brief perusal of cosplay pictures will indicate, that ‘do is damn hard to make look cool and manly.)

  3. Spacemonkey Mafia says:

    The multiple story lines in the game is a nice distinction from 5, in that instead of the one fixed story, you now have up to four marginalized global ethnicities you can obliterate.   

    • NarcolepticPanda says:

      With surgical cultural appropriation procedures too!

    • HobbesMkii says:

      Well, at least they’re getting something out of all the complaint letters I’ve been sending them. Progress?

    • I was okay with RE5, black zombies and all (not so much with the native zombies, especially if you following the plot about them), but everything went to shit once you get to the temple.

      RE has always been kinda dumb, but it was more or less self-aware, and could mine some interesting puzzles and conflicts from it. The temple level is so outlandish, though, it doesn’t make ANY sense in the context of the game, and it takes you out of it completely. You can’t help but ask, while playing it, “Why is this here? And how the hell is it still functioning?”

      • GaryX says:

        I can’t totally recall the native zombies plot (I don’t think I even finished that game. I remember fighting a giant bat thing last.). Weren’t they tricked into it or something?

        •  SPOILERS (I guess)

          So the plant Umbrella need to harvest for their virus survives under the village or something stupid like that, so they kinda made a mini-colonialism move – come in with health/medicine/weapons to win them over, infect most of them, kill the rest. It was just glossed over, even though the implication of it all is questionable.

  4. ItsTheShadsy says:

    That’s a real shame. I always thought a game with multiple perspectives and dramatically different gameplay styles would be a lot of fun. I wonder if the concept itself is bunk or if this one is just poorly done.

    • Bad Horse says:

      The concept itself is probably bunk, especially if the mechanics vary dramatically. It takes so much work just to get Super Mario platforming mechanics right, even after close to 30 years of refinement, that Nintendo can’t even get it right anymore. 

    • GaryX says:

      The thing is, though, is that the actual mechanics don’t really vary that greatly. They stay the same, but Capcom tries to make different styles flex around those same mechanics. They can’t be multiple things in one go, though, so they end up shoving a bunch of QTE in their place. It’s just a mess. It would require much, much more ambition then what’s on display in this game.

    • I’ve been playing this all afternoon. The EXECUTION is the problem the the concept itself

  5. George_Liquor says:

    This review brings up a good point: Why do the Asian characters in video games from Japanese developers never look remotely Asian? Why do they all look as white as the driven snow?

    • Because Osamu Tezuka had drawn Japanese humans with colours like light orange and light-pink which makes them caucasian.

      Many animators, mangakas and video game developers came from the Tezuka school. And his influence still lives on today.

        • George_Liquor says:

          An interesting point. At least for video games, I figured it had more to do with minimizing localization costs by making your characters as ethnically ‘vague’ as possible.

          Frankly, now that I think of it, American game developers do the same thing. The Prince Of Persia, for example, doesn’t look remotely Middle-Eastern.

        • Dwigt says:

          @George_Liquor:disqus Persians are not Arabs. They’re a different race, with a paler skin, for instance.

        • George_Liquor says:

           @DwigtKSchrute:disqus: Pretty sure they don’t look like they’re from Iowa, though.

      • I have occasionally wondered if sprite skin tones were lightened as part of the localization process. 

      • ChumJoely says:

        Why are you guys mentioning “localization costs” with respect to the appearance of the characters?  I actually work in localization, and although there is some tweaking of content to fit different national regulations (no extreme gore or severed body parts (!) in Asian markets, no Nazi references in Germany), I don’t think I’ve ever heard of trying to “localize” the appearance of the characters to match the target demographic in a particular country.

    • WorldCivilizations says:

      It is strange indeed. In Final Fantasy X, the characters all look white, then in the CGI cutscenes, they’re all suddenly japanese. But I guess @George_Liquor:disqus is probably right. Anime characters generally have huge eyes, which is not all that japanese looking.

      • WorldCivilizations says:

        @facebook-698650979:disqus, that is

      • Captain Internet says:

        It’s not particularly human looking either

      • hcduvall says:

        I think a lot of times the more cartoonish or not-naturalistic the image, the more it can be widely “read”. I don’t think Japanese kids read Naruto (even with his blond hair) and think he’s white, but here in the US, he reads as white.

    • Girard says:

      [Bear in mind I’m not citing any sources, and if anyone from Japan or with more knowledge about Japan, can point out where I’m totally off-base, or going from hearsay, I welcome it.]

       I don’t know if Mohd’s skin-tone argument totally holds, as Western-designed games and cartoons do tend to have  ‘pinker’ skin tones than Japanese ones. (Broadly – there are exceptions.)

      However, he’s on the money that the legacy of Tezuka’s doe-eyed designs (appropriated and adapted from Western cartoons like Betty Boop and the Disney stable) have influenced Japanese notions of beauty. Epicanthoplasty is the most common type of cosmetic surgery in Japan, to the point that (as I understand it) it’s often colloquially just called “the surgery.”

      Related is the Japanese fan-board redesign of Faith from Mirror’s Edge, which the fans said better reflects their ideals of beauty – wider eyes, and more curvaceous figure, e.g. more broadly Western traits.

      An interesting sub-branch of this is that when East-Asian phenotypic features are used in anime, they are typically used as othering devices to demarcate other East-Asian nationalities. Take Gundam Wing, where the Japanese protagonist has brown hair and wide blue-grey eyes, while the Chinese supporting character has more ochre skin tones, black hair, and almond-shaped eyes. Or, say, in Ranma, where the Japanese protagonists has blue saucer-shaped eyes, but the Chinese guy who tends the cursed spring the series revolves around has steretypical Asian features. (However, Shampoo, a Chinese character, has saucer eyes and purple hair, and Ranma’s Japanese father has narrower eyes and tanned skin, so in that show it’s tied as much or more to age and beauty as it is to nationality, I guess…)

      • George_Liquor says:

        Funny, fan-redesigned Faith’s smaller nose, more angular jaw and rounder face look more Asian to me than the original.

      • duwease says:

        Judging from that fan remake of Faith, “the surgery” can apply to more than just eyes..

      • hastapura says:

        Yeah. From the late 19th century to WWII – as Japan was moving into international prominence/colonial ambition – Japanese representations of other East Asian countries were stereotypically barbaric, disorganized, and “yellow,” while Japanese soldiers were depicted as distinctly Western (e.g. superior). See here: http://www.fujiarts.com/japanese-prints/k162/40k162f.jpg. Chinese soldiers are topknotted and dressed in puffy rags while the Japanese are organized and looking rather sharp with their mustaches and sleek uniforms. Other woodcuts show sniveling Chinese cowering beneath the blades of tall, handsome Japanese soldiers – you can almost hear the derisive Engrish captions.

        So I guess maybe it dates back to the desire of Japan to stand at parity with the West and have their superiority recognized and respected. I’m only going off a couple years of Japanese history classes here so feel free to tell me off.

    • blue vodka lemonade says:

       I remember someone Photoshopped the cover of Mirror’s Edge to make Faith look “more attractive to Asians.” They did this by making her look a helluva lot less-Asian, and by giving her bigger tits and a childlike face. The internet was not impressed.

    • hcduvall says:

      While this essay is more specifically about manga, I think it’s a very useful one.

      http://www.matt-thorn.com/mangagaku/faceoftheother.html

      Developers and artists may mean specific races when in a realistic setting or with more naturalistic styles (Resident Evil say), but I think there’s a fair amount of people reading characters to be who’s around them and what we’re cultured to recognize, not necessarily what the creators or developers aimed for. If we’re going just by skin color, there are a lot of really pale Japanese out there. While I’m sure there’s some thought now that characters should read global, it’s not as if Japanese people have been making manga or games or the like wondering how Americans will take it, say, so take something like Bleach out of the Japanese setting, and I bet a few characters in including the lead would read as white to most American readers–but they were clearly meant to be Japanese to a Japanese audience.

  6. Eh, still better than the RE movies that’s for sure.

  7. StopHodoring says:

    This is disappointing.  Resident Evil 5 had me from the demo, and the experience of playing through it had me using sick days from work.  Peeking out from behind a corner just as a rocket flew past my ear is one of my top gaming experiences.

    The Resident Evil 6 demo didn’t pop for me the way 5 did.  I’ll probably still buy it in a few months when the price plummets, but it sucks Capcom couldn’t up their game.

  8. Ghostfucker says:

    Resident Evil always kind of felt like the fudge of gaming to me…hear me out! The painful item and save system, weird static camera and incredibly difficult to grasp controls gave the early games a very claustrophobic feel that could legitimately become frightening due to a a number of broken gameplay systems working together. None of these systems are particularly good on their own, but together they were greater than the sum of their parts. Despite an absurd plotline, terrible writing, and even worse voice-acting, those early games are strangely engaging. Each step to modernize the game has taken away one of those clunky barriers that made the games legitimately frightening in the first place, diluting the formula until all that was left was the occasional cheap jump-scare. The original formula was a happy accident that just isn’t tolerable to modern gamers, and the franchise should have been allowed to die once it stopped working.

    Uh…like fudge. Okay, the metaphor is not so good.

  9. Bipolar_Bearman says:

    Wow, what an extremely negative review. It sounds like the reviewer just hates the series. Maybe they should’ve got someone else to review it.

    Then again, I find that more than half of everything posted on Gameology is wrong, so I’ll take this with a grain of salt, too.

    But really though, of all the things to complain about, you choose awkward dialogue, Ada doesn’t look Chinese enough, and sometimes enemies don’t drop ammo?

    The review doesn’t tell me much at all about the game, besides the fact that the reviewer didn’t like it, because it’s stupid, and no one else should either.

    Next time maybe write a little more in-depth instead of dropping ancient The Simpsons references and title dropping Dirty Dancing.

    • Fixda Fernback says:

      Yes, clearly, you’re right and they are wrong because that’s how subjective things work. Why do you bother coming here if you disagree with everything so much? As if you can’t find reviews galore about the gameplay, mechanics, settings, etc itself literally everywhere else on the internet. Which is also, coincidentally, where you also find negativity, so could we maybe not be so condescending and entitled next time, unless you actually have constructive things to say? 

      I love coming to Gameological just for the reasons you seem to hate it, but the thing is, you have plenty of options to the alternative, and I have literally next to none as far as options for similar sites, so maybe instead of trying to make this one like all the others, we can let it be it’s own little magical, awesome place? Thanks, I knew you’d understand! You’re such a level-headed guy like that.

      • NarcolepticPanda says:

        Hey, cut him some slack! He is bipolar! Next thing you know “more than half of everything posted on Gameology” will be UNARGUABLY CORRECT.

      • Fluka says:

        Speaking of monkey’s paw style curses, Scott Jones must be doomed to forever be followed around by irate fanboys complaining that he’s reviewin’ it wrong.  Guess whooo wroooote the Uncharted 3 revieeeew?

        • NarcolepticPanda says:

          Ooh, I didn’t read that. *reads it, becomes annoyed* Staggering stew-bum! You rolled when you were trying to perform a stealth kill? Well, there are separate buttons for somersaulting and neck-snapping… 

        • Fixda Fernback says:

          Haha, I noticed that. It cracks me up how vitriolic some of these people get about defending games they enjoy against some perceived slight by a critic. The Uncharted 3 review is still one of my favorite pieces on AV Club just because of how goddamned entertaining it was to see all those people get SO pissed off.

      • GaryX says:

        I think we should just let him ask Brad Shoemaker for his opinion: http://www.giantbomb.com/i-love-mondays-10012012/17-6631/

    • coolidge says:

      Dude is this comment for real? Are you just the biggest RE fanboy alive or what? 

      Listen I’m a huge fan of Code Veronica and RE4 is in my top ten games, maybe top five, so I really wanted this one to have what that one did: the atmosphere, the engaging gameplay mechanics, all of it. The reviewer here was actually very merciful on RE6 compared to other reviews I’ve read. If the game wasn’t fun or memorable to him what is he supposed to do? Pretend it was because a whole legion of gamers are hoping it is? 

      And yeah, the review is written in a more idiosyncratic and conversational style than your IgNs and your gamespots, that’s why some of us come to this site. If you need a numerical score assigned to each superficial aspect of a game (graphics, sound, ‘replay value’) then you should probably look elsewhere. The review explains what the game tried to do and where it failed in that goal. There’s a lot of problems with gaming journalism right now but I think taking an alternative approach to what we expect from games and how we appreciate them isn’t a bad thing.

      Damn this turned into more a screed than I meant it to, and I’m sorry for that. It’s just I see you interpreting his analogy about waiting for the corpse to drop ammo so literally that you think it’s a simple complaint that “sometimes enemies don’t drop ammo.” Dude was talking about waiting for these heavily hyped games expecting an engaging experience, something to write home about, and when they feel so homogenized and… typically predictable, he feels cheated. And I think he’s got a right to.

      • ryanthestormout says:

        I think most of the review was alright. It doesn’t look like a great game. I buy that. But nobody was clamoring for cover based zombie shooting. That dude doesn’t exist. Even the “Walking while shooting” stuff vs. the “Dudes made of poorly controlled RC Cars” stuff is weirdly divided. That’s going to give people a shitty message (essentially, we don’t care about what you’re saying, what your fandom is composed of, and what you, Resident Evil fans, actually might think about, you stupid fritatas), and if you’re going to get all bent out of shape over some dude whose frustrated that the reviewer doesn’t give a shit, then you have to at least admit that Scott Jones doesn’t give a shit.

        • coolidge says:

          ‘Nobody is clamoring for those things’? Says who? Maybe guys like you and I, people that grew up with the series, werent, but capcom might’ve focus-tested this shit for months at malls in seven different countries and all they heard was “its alright but it could be more like Gears, thatd be cool.”

      • Fixda Fernback says:

        Great minds, thinking alike, etc etc.

        • coolidge says:

          You callin me dumb, son?

        • Fixda Fernback says:

          @coolidge:disqus Haha, uhh, no? I was commenting on the fact that you and I posted nearly the exact same sort of reply to @Bipolar_Bearman:disqus at the same time, and thought it was funny. Hence my reference to what they say about “Great minds think alike”. 

      • Fluka says:

        I…think something weird happened on the Metacritic user scores for this game.  It’s currently rating at “Overwhelming dislike.” And all of the review blurbs seem to be about Stalin.

        • ItsTheShadsy says:

          Apparently this isn’t the first time this happened. It looks like there’s this “bizarre Russian cult” (not my words) that votes 0 on select games and attributes it to “Ansha Abdul” and “Biboran.”

          My favorite quotes, before they disappear:

          “Stalin please come and destroy Japan in nuclear tsunami with dead cats and blood!!!!!”

          “Biboran fack, game on PS3 Perfect SUPER GAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”

          “Stalin kill pedophiles, Japs! Stalin would kill Obama and will live forever!”

          “HOBO IS NOT THE LAW – ABDUL THE LAW! LeninStalinLeninStalinLeninStalinLeninStalinLeninStalinLeninStalinLeninStalinLeninStalinLeninStalinLeninStalin”

          I have no idea why but I find this really, really entertaining.

        • Fluka says:

          @ItsTheShadsy:disqus Huh, well, I learned something today.  I mean…*scratches head*… huh.

        • GaryX says:

          @ItsTheShadsy:disqus Where can I learn more about this cult?

          For science.

        • ItsTheShadsy says:

          @GaryX:discus Google one of the weird phrases they keep using and they’ll pop up. There’s an article on Destructoid that seems to have the most thorough summary: http://www.destructoid.com/weird-metacritic-user-reviews-tear-darksiders-ii-to-bits-234163.phtml

    • Bogie55 says:

      What this review tells you about this game is that the RE series has been spoiled by developers compromising a once distinct gaming experience in order to provide a game that appeals to the moronic box-ticking exercises of your “more in-depth” reviews.

      This is exactly the result of reviews and feedback on games being limited to a generic set of expectations that are met on a scale of 1-10. This review, and this site, takes a different approach, speaking more of subjective experiences and taking games to task for merely churning out derivative content.

      You are welcome to disagree with the substance of the argument, but don’t do so because this site is not IGN/Gamespot. And starting your argument with “this review is very negative, therefore someone else should have reviewed the game” is the most condescending, useless thing you can to a real reviewer.

    • Bad Horse says:

      Bad Horse’s Corollary to Poe’s Law: Any parody of a fanboy forum post is indistinguishable from its subject.

      • Merve says:

        WAKE UP SHEEPLE! Scott Jones works for the ILLUMINATI. This is all part of their secret plan to BRING DOWN CAPCOM. We CAN’T let them win!

    • Spacemonkey Mafia says:

      See, that’s interesting, ‘cuz I found the use of analogy, especially the wonderfully written last paragraph, provided me the best sense yet of how the game would feel to play. Something that isn’t always conveyed through a list of bullet points ticking off game features.
         Besides, your argument that the review doesn’t convey enough about the game is a specious one.
         I’d argue very few people are looking for a Super Target experience with their game reviews, getting everything they need from just one.  Whether it’s for confirmation bias, due research on whether a game is worth purchasing, or that at heart, game journalism is entertainment, most folks read multiple reviews.
         So stating that one review doesn’t give you enough information is a bit insincere since we tend to triangulate our understanding of a release through multiple venues anyhow.

    • John Teti says:

      “I find that more than half of everything posted on Gameology is wrong”

      I like those odds.

    • Bipolar_Bearman says:

       To be fair to everyone who disagrees, my main problem with this “review” is that it barely talks about gameplay at all, and focuses on more things that the reviewer doesn’t seem to like, or agree with. (Ada not looking Chinese enough for example.)

      If the review were to go in-depth about WHY exactly he doesn’t care for it, that would have been different, but no. As it is it feels like an excuse for a review rather than an actual review itself.

  10. “Finally, there is the game’s chief villain, who you know is the villain from the outset because he has a pocket watch, a three-quarter-length Colonel Sanders overcoat, and a Colonel Sanders beard.” 

    ……..well now I HAVE to play it. Must find images of this.

    • Girard says:

       Yet another case of facial hair being demonized. Who will advocate for the hirsute out there?! When will be see our next bearded president?

      Imagine how historical it would be if our first lady president was a bearded lady president!

      • NarcolepticPanda says:

        Slicked back hair has been portrayed negatively for far too long as well! I want our first lady president to have a beard and a slicked back ponytail! Basically be my D&D dungeon master…

        • Merve says:

          You want America’s first lady president to be a crossdressing Mexican gangster?

        • NarcolepticPanda says:

          @Merve2:disqus Don’t we all?

        • ChumJoely says:

          Let’s see… is the “oppression of slicked back hair” bit from Mr. Show?  I know I’ve heard of this brutal discrimination before…

        • NarcolepticPanda says:

          @ChumJoely:disqus : Not sure, never seen that program. Meant it more as a rant about recent video game villains sharing my namesake and hairstyle, i.e. Borderlands 2.

    • Bad Horse says:

      Compared to Salazar from RE4, that just sounds so…conventional.

  11. I have only played the 1, 2 & 4 but never in their entirety because it would usually be while visiting a friend who had the game, and they would play before letting me take a shot at it, so maybe this was explained. But anyway, was it ever explained how Ada survived after getting seemingly killed in RE2? I know she returns in 4, and I was confused by that.

  12. STOP_RIGHT_THERE_CRIMINAL_SCUM says:

    it really is a shame that Resident Evil has turned out this way, after the excellent Resident Evil 4

    but I can’t say I’m surprised considering Japanese game development is all but extinct these days, to say that this video game generation has been unkind to Japan is a hell of an understatement 

    • Destroy Him My Robots says:

      I thought Revelations was genuinely good most of the time. Certainly no 4, but better than 5 and better than what I’ve played from the 6 demo. The scanner and the ability to charge your melee were two totally
      sensible additions to the gameplay. Simple risk vs
      reward stuff, and that’s good enough. It had a dumb co-op AI following you, it had free aiming while moving and probably more things purists can get mad about. But when you played as Jill, it all worked. The gameplay felt like Resident Evil and the setting felt like Resident Evil and it had keys with emblems, so you’d know which one is for the door with the anchor on it.

      I’ve read in an interview that Revelations is supposed to be first in a more adventure-focused subseries (compared to the new numbered main titles), so I guess that’s where I’ll be putting my money.

    • Brian Stewart says:

      *cough* Shinji Mikami left after RE4 *hack* *blorph* *groooooo…. * braaaaaiiiiinnnnns…………….

    • Bad Horse says:

      I would love to hear a unified theory of Japanese developers’ decline during this generation. There’s plenty of evidence for it but I couldn’t begin to guess why. 

      • Travis Stewart says:

        A lot of blame is being placed on the corporate culture. Stifling creativity and such.

        • Bad Horse says:

          But why this generation? Japanese developers never seemed to have innovation problems before.

        • Travis Stewart says:

          More publisher interference. A growing generational gap in developers. Lack of large independent studios.

      • STOP_RIGHT_THERE_CRIMINAL_SCUM says:

        I can only assume that the higher costs of developing games for this generation made them prohibitively expensive for most Japanese developers and consequently a lot of them went under

  13. Staggering Stew Bum says:

    ….and Chris Redfield has finally learned how to crouch.

    *proudly sheds tears of joy* 

    • Spacemonkey Mafia says:

      That’s how he earned those massive arm muscles, having spent his entire life leaning at a rigid forty five degree angle over the toilet.

  14. PaganPoet says:

    Not gonna lie, though, Chris Redfield’s alternate costume – an off-the shoulder kimono exposing his chest and arms – almost sold me on this game. And then I remembered that I have the internet and that gay porn is a thing. Disaster averted!!

    • yaranaikasak says:

      Can I sell you on the Resident Evil game on the Gameboy? It involves Barry and Leon going on a cruise.

      • PaganPoet says:

        Leon’s haircut bothers me too much. Barry’s okay in a muscle-bear kind of way.

        What does the bidding start at?

  15. Raging Bear says:

    I’m adjusting my expectations, which were lowish to begin with, but I’ll still play it when my preorder gets here today. I’m on a holiday season gaming bender, and I don’t know right from wrong anymore.

  16. JokersNuts says:

    Resident Evil 4 had the right amount of scary dread / horror and action mix. 5 was really fun, but too much action and not enough scary.

  17. JohnnyLongtorso says:

    Dammit, why did I get this game from Gamefly when I could have waited a week for Dishonored? I don’t even like Resident Evil that much. I have RE4 but I quit playing it when I got to the giant centipedey boss thing. Also, I hate it when headshots don’t do any appreciable damage.

  18. stakkalee says:

    I’ve never played any of the Resident Evil games, and I have no desire to.  I just wanted to say that having your villain “die” by disappearing into the river was old when Sam Raimi did it to Doc Ock in Spider-Man 2.  It was old when Bill Finger did it to The Joker in Batman #4, and then again in Batman #5.  It was old when Arthur Conan Doyle did it to Professor Moriarty off of Reichenbach Falls in “The Adventure of the Final Problem”.  It was probably old with Set tricked his brother Osiris into that box and threw him in the Nile.  What I’m saying is, weak sauce, Resident Evil, weak sauce.

    • Merve says:

      I always wonder: who rescues these guys from the river? Do all villains have personal assistants who lurk in the shadows while their masters fight the heroes and then jump into the river to rescue their masters once they’ve been defeated and the heroes have left? Do these personal assistants do anything else, or are they relegated to lifeguard duty? If they’re merely glorified lifeguards, then how much do they get paid? Is employing them even cost-effective? How does one get hired as a villain’s personal assistant/lifeguard? I mean, I can’t just browse the listings for EvilCorp and The Doom Company on Monster. Where do I send my résumé?

      • stakkalee says:

        There’s always a branch.  Or a low bridge.  Or a nearby embankment.  Or a kindly passer-by.  Or a pod of dolphins.  Or sometimes they just tenaciously claw their way to the surface from the brink of death.  Your really-well-prepared villains have an inflatable life-jacket sewn into the lining of their costume.  Really, it’s the only way to be safe.

      • bknowler says:

        I believe they are also responsible for changing the flashing lights on their master’s armor that denote weak points to be shot at.

        Some of them also have degrees in engineering so they can dig them out from the ruins of temples, warehouses, etc that the heroes drop on them.

        A few of them dabble in physics and/or magic to reopen pan-dimensional portals that the master has been sent through in order to close it before it sucks in the whole planet or whatnot.

        I would suggest that some of them just simply know first aid and CPR, but since the bodies of the villians are seldom simply left where they fall and are accessible, it’s not really a very valued skillset amongst villainous types.

    • Doyle’s intent was too kill both characters. It was supposed to be the end of the series. But Holmes was too popular

  19. Pgoodso says:

    I don’t think it’s a huge secret or anything, but the Wii translation of Resident Evil 4 is probably one of the best Wii games ever released. The controls were fluid and never too gimmicky unless the moment itself was gimmicky (quicktime events). It’s astounding how few shooters there ended up being on the Wii, because it worked so beautifully in that game.

    And that’s my only Resident Evil experience.

    Cool story, bro.

    • Bad Horse says:

      RE4 is almost uniquely suited to Wii controls, because it negates the whole janky aiming experience that other Wii shooters had (I’m looking at you, The Conduit). Because you have to hold a button to aim, and you can’t move while aiming, it’s a perfect match. If you could move while aiming it wouldn’t work nearly as well.

    • George_Liquor says:

      Yeah, shooters played very well on the Wii. Dead Space Extraction is a nice throwback to old on-rails shooters, and it tells a more interesting story than its progenitor.

  20. alguien_comenta says:

    Does it improve with multiplayer? I didn’t care much for RE5 at first, but then I played with a friend and had a blast. My intention was to also play this one with a friend, I haven’t read any review that mentions this.

  21. rvb1023 says:

    The one thing that could have saved Resident Evil 6 is what saved RE5: Albert Wesker.  Seriously, Capcom created one of the most over-the-top and lovable villains of all time and then kill him off.  At this point  Wekser was the series to me, since he embodied how absolutely ridiculous and essentially meaningless these games had become.

    I find it ironic the the best game in the series, RE4, would essentially be the reason the series loses it’s way in the long run.

    • That’s the odd thing. Based on RE4, the only thing RE5 needed was the ability to walk and aim. RE5 didn’t even do THAT – it added everything that no one wanted – half-ass cover-based shooting, ridiculous puzzles, pointless co-op, piss-poor level design….

      And Wesker is probably the most frustrating badguy ever, out of a medium designed around frustrating badguys. He’s insanely over-powered but for some reason could never simply kill Chris/Shiva. This series….

      • GaryX says:

        I don’t think I ever even understood Wesker’s plan. Conan’s critique of the series plot was spot on.

        • rvb1023 says:

           In a perfect world, Wesker’s plan involves saying the word Uroburos a lot, playing with his hair, wearing sunglasses at night, and having some of the funniest dialogue this side of a Double Fine game or Portal.

      • rvb1023 says:

        I don’t know, Chris seemed pretty overpowered as well.  I distinctly remember someone punching boulders until they fell over to make a bridge.

        • That was at the end, when they fight in volcano (holy shit – actually typing that out really puts the ridiculousness of the game into perspective). To be fair, it’s already a loose rock, and you have to push a shit load of QTEs to make it fall over.

          Wesker can teleport. Why he never teleported and simply cut Chris’s throat is never explained.

  22. Brian Stewart says:

    If i may be cereal for a hot minute, Resident Evil 5 had some terribly bland level design, and if the demo for 6 is anything to go by, this does too. Not enough people are talking about that. And not enough people are talking about chickadees either. They are ADORABLE. Why did they leave me behind?!?

  23. Brian Stewart says:

    Also where’s my article on Tokyo Jungle, Steve Heisler? That’s what everyone should be playing right now. Feral golden retrievers are the new Cerebus. 

    • hastapura says:

      Yeah Tokyo Jungle is the kind of left-field, strangely exciting shit that Japanese studios used to excel at. Nowadays they’re dead-set on aping Western franchises – see Gears of Resident Evil 6 and it’s not playing to their strengths at all. It really, really sucks.

  24. Other Chris says:

    All the negative reviews are ridiculous. If you can’t enjoy this game on one level or another, you’re a serious bitch.

  25. hastapura says:

    I really want to complain about how RE has abandoned the tenets that made it great but I’ve been doing that for a few games now. Time marches on. Guess it’s time to break out the Gamecube…

  26. JohnnyLongtorso says:

    Trip report: I got RE6 from Gamefly today, played it for about ten minutes, died to the first enemy because I didn’t do the quicktime event right, and said, “No, game, I’m not going to do this.” and dropped it in the mail. Come on, Dishonored!

    • Raging Bear says:

      This was the right choice. I’m about 5 hours in, and I haven’t really enjoyed a single minute. Unfortunately, being an idiot, I bought it instead of gameflying it.

      I’m telling myself that maybe the other campaigns don’t follow the same absurd pattern of setpiece-bossfight-instafail QTE-bossfight-setpiece-setpiece, with nothing in between, and none of which are even constructed particularly well. It’s been a while since I played a game this aggressively unenjoyable.

      I’ll at least give the other campaigns a try before selling it back, hopefully for at least half what I paid, but the price is already dropping. 

  27. woxinfei says:

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