Sawbuck Gamer

Medieval Shark

Chew Your Food!

Medieval Shark brings the fish-on-dragon ruckus, but it needs to slow down.

By Anthony John Agnello • November 1, 2012

Felix Wiesner’s shark gets around. The murderous, surprisingly swift fish has sliced up the people of New York, Sydney, and Miami in previous efforts, but this is the first time that the shark has transcended both space and time, heading back to the dark ages. At least, the fantasy dark ages of Arthurian legend, because your enemies include far more dragons and angels than knights and maidens (though there are certainly plenty of the latter around, too).

You control the titular shark—who dons a black executioner’s mask to stick with contemporary fashion—as he swims along what seems to be an endless bay surrounding the British isles, chopping up every last thing he passes by swinging an enormous axe. Felling eels in the water and giant ships full of bystanders racks up points, but the real money’s in the big beasts that regularly pop up: hydras, krakens, flying dragons, swimming dragons—they all need to be put down, and they won’t go without a fight. Your primary concern isn’t survival, it’s killing these monsters before a timer ticks down ending your nautical rampage.

Medieval Shark is a little too fast for its own good. Part of the humor comes from watching the world get torn apart in a flash of blood and fire, but it’s hard not to wish for a slower pace so you can soak up the atmosphere. I mean, what’s the rush, Mr. Shark? How often do you get to ravage Stonehenge? Savor it.

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2,268 Responses to “Chew Your Food!”

  1. Aaron Riccio says:

    Oh . . . please fix that slip in the first sentence. I don’t want to think about the terrifying possibility of wiener sharks.

    That said, Stonehenge-eating sharks gets two Wiseners up!

  2. Matt Kodner says:

    Mr. Shark’s a regular Gertude Ederle!