Sawbuck Gamer

Nutty Fluffies

Unsafe At Any Speed

The roller coasters in Nutty Fluffies offer a joyride for those with a death wish.

By Jason Reich • November 19, 2012

Those raised in the tri-state area may remember Action Park, a deathtrap of a New Jersey amusement park that was eventually shuttered under a mountain of personal-injury lawsuits. Nutty Fluffies gives adrenaline junkies a chance to recapture some of those lost thrills. It’s RollerCoaster Tycoon without the tycoons.

A single finger steers your roller coaster train over a series of wildly dangerous tracks. Much like RedLynx’s Xbox 360 motorcycle-stunt game Trials, success hinges on micro-adjustments in your vehicle’s speed and trajectory. The slightest mistimed tap will fling your train off the rails, sending a carload of stuffed animals to their soft, cuddly graves. The physics of failure are generally hilarious, particularly the rearmost cart’s tendency to launch itself up and over the lead car in a sick parody of the Top Gun “flipping the bird” scene.

Certain animals carry bonuses that can net you extra points for stunts like catching air (though sadly, no characters provide bonuses for flashing the “souvenir photo” camera at the top of the hill). Earning enough coins to unlock later levels often means playing the same tracks over and over again, but despite this annoyance, Nutty Fluffies provides the kind of entertainment anyone with an alpine slide-inflicted skin graft can appreciate.

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1,055 Responses to “Unsafe At Any Speed”

  1. Ack_Ack says:

    You had me at “wildly dangerous”.  Also, you can’t go wrong with RedLynx either – Trials is a fantastic game.  Downloading now…;

  2. Action Park has a phenomenal wikipedia page.

    • HighlyFunctioningTimTebow says:

      I’m at the snake infested bumper boat lagoon. This is ridiculous. It’s like a bad 90s NES game set in Ayn Rand’s version of Disneyland. I especially liked the 110 count grand jury indictment with ‘operating an unlicensed insurance company’ charges. So New Jersey.

    • HilariousNPC says:

      I don’t have an iPhone, so I’m never going to play this game, but I now have to thank the developers for inadvertently leading me to the glorious Action Park wikipedia page.

      Most of my office (minus the higher-ups) thank you Pappy Alabaster and Jason Reich.

      • Jason Reich says:

        You’re welcome. I’m proud to say I survived a visit or two to Action Park in my youth, and even then I realized the place was a total legal and safety nightmare. I will never forget the defunct looping water slide standing like a silent sentinel near the ticket booths.

        • Jackbert322 says:

          My favorite part is how the Wikipedia page descripes the space shot as “fairly safe” in regards to the rest of the park. Like, the ride where you go shooting up into the air and rocketing back down to earth, that montrosity is babyish compared to the bumper boats.

        • I first heard of Action Park when The Jeff Rubin Jeff Rubin Show featured an entire episode recounting events this abomination of an 80s theme parks. 

          The way Jeff Rubin, Seth Porges and Chris Gethard recount their personal experiences lends well the mythology captured on its Wikipedia page.  It’s sad that New Jersey youth no longer have that battlefield to usher them into manhood and also that I never got to experience it firsthand. 

          Highly recommend that podcast and this episode in particular if you’re into Action Park anecdotes.

      • stuartsaysstop says:

        My knowledge of Action Park led me to believe I had already read the wikipedia page, so color me surprised to see such an extensive entry. Despite all the casualties from other rides, I find the Kayak Experience to be most unsettling due to three terrifying words: submerged electric fans. That’s some NES water level hazard shit right there.

    • Electric Dragon says:

       Wait, so Thrill World was real?

    • Asinus says:

      I thought the “110 count” and “snake infested” were part of the humor of the game. That is amazing. I think that the description of the patrons spitting on each other, harassing employees, etc. was the worst part. God, it sounds like a terrible stress dream come to life.