Sawbuck Gamer

Christmas Treevolution

Oh, Christmas Tree?

Harvest some peace on Earth and goodwill toward monsters in Christmas Treevolution.

By Derrick Sanskrit • December 18, 2012

Sawbuck Gamer is our daily review of a free or cheap ($10 or less) game.

In Family Guy’s first Christmas episode, mother Lois snaps, “You all think Christmas just happens. You think all this goodwill just falls from the freakin’ sky. Well, it doesn’t! It falls out of my holly jolly butt!” Indeed, this time of year tends to breed hostility because “proper” festivity takes effort and forethought. Holiday merriment does not simply grow on trees. But, as Christmas Treevolution shows us, growing things on trees isn’t all that simple either.

Players are provided a sapling and a smattering of festive elements—a candy cane, a French hen, and Tiny Tim—and tasked with using their Yuletide alchemy to feed the tree, in hopes of blossoming even more seasonal baubles. Hen plus Magic equals Egg. Egg plus Sugar equals Eggnog. You combine ingredients and synthesize new elements until your Christmas is perfect enough for your mother-in-law to stop judging you. (Game does not include actual mother-in-law.)

Of course, alchemy is far from a perfect science. Mistakes will be made, but they are, as the late Bob Ross would say, “happy accidents,” and that man knew more about conjuring perfect winter wonderlands than any magical elves or cartoon housewives. Tiny Tim plus Egg equals Scrambled Orphan—equal parts adorable and horrifying. But don’t fret, an angry monster is there to eat and track your mistakes, of which there are 155 to be made. So begins that most sacred of seasonal traditions: Intentionally sabotaging holiday plans in order to see how horribly wrong everything can go, for your own smug sense of satisfaction.

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  • Aurora Boreanaz

    “Eggbeat us, every one!”

  • Matt Kodner

    Are we talking Tiny Tim the invalid, or Tiny Tim the ukelele slayer? This is very important, to me. 

    • Aurora Boreanaz

      It’s a Christmas game.  So obviously it must be the ukelele player.

      • Raging Bear

        I remember all the cold yuletide nights when the family would gather ’round the hearth and sing “Santa Claus has got the AIDS This Year.”

    • His_Space_Holiness

      Tiny Tim the Ukelele Slayer was an underrated Joss Whedon show.

      • SonjaMinotaur

        So, does he slay ukeleles or use a ukelele as a weapon?

        • His_Space_Holiness

          Both. Most of the ukes in the show were evil, but his had had its soul restored by vengeful mandolins and fought on the side of righteousness. But it was exactly this kind of confusion that kept ratings low.

    • Electric Dragon