Sawbuck Gamer

Loot: The Game

The Elephant In The Room

Dumbo shoots up a train in Loot: The Game.

By Andrew Frisicano • December 10, 2012

Of all the things modern-day criminals can rob, trains rank pretty low on the list, somewhere below liquor stores and above gumball machines. The typical train’s cargo—which I imagine to consist of coal, irate Amtrak passengers, and Joe Biden—is not the stuff of daring heists or big paydays. It’s fortunate, then, for Loot’s locomotive-hating protagonist that the 100-car railroad convoy he’s chosen to target is overflowing with gold coins and useful weaponry.

In lieu of Butch Cassidy, you play as a cute miniature elephant dedicated to demolishing a runaway train, car by car. You unleash havoc with weapons that range from a trusty pistol to a magic wand, and you use purloined loot to grow stronger and outfit yourself with better kit. The train doesn’t take the fight lying down: You have to dodge an ongoing barrage missiles and bombs. Your motive is never quite clear, but considering how elephants have been treated throughout history (see the Punic Wars, Ringling Bros., and Steinway & Sons) one can only imagine. It’s fun once you suit up the little guy in different pieces of armor, blasting the damn train into fiery embers, if your trigger finger can stand the repeated clicking. But then, train robbing has never been easy.

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708 Responses to “The Elephant In The Room”

  1. “considering how elephants have been treated throughout history”

    Yeah not to mention Thomas Edison (history’s second greatest monster, right behind Carter) electrocuting an elephant, which he filmed and aptly named, “Electrocuting an Elephant?”

    Why? Because she killed her trainer who force fed her lit cigarettes.

    • His crew includes a badger with a troubled past and nothing left to lose, an elephant who never forgets—to kill! And a seldom-used crab named Lucky, a.k.a. Citizen Snips.

    • Electric Dragon says:

      Now come on. History’s second greatest monster was surely Thomas Midgley.

    • I’m sure everyone already knows this thanks to The Oatmeal, but the real gambit was to use Tesla’s competing alternating current to kill an elephant and thereby demonstrate how dangerous it was, in hopes of retaining market dominance with his direct current.

      • Bakken Hood says:

        …and in honor of Tesla’s industrialist ally George Westinghouse, he would have seen the AC electric chair dubbed the Westinghouse, as it would put you to eternal West.  And now you know……………..

        ………….the rest of the story.

  2. duwease says:

    It’s funny that these jmtb02 elephant games started out mocking compulsive Flash games and their addictive metagaming.. and now they’re polished examples of the genre :)