The DigestVideo

The 2012 ’Gestys, Day One

We hail games with that can’t-put-it-down appeal—and that never-put-it-down appeal.

By John Teti • December 17, 2012

On The Gameological Society, we like to give you things you can’t get anywhere else on the internet. So as we close out the year, I’m proud to present a bunch of white dudes talking about video games they like—WHILE WEARING BOWTIES.

That’s right, as 2012 winds down, a bunch of us Gameological folks got together to film a special year-end edition of The Digest and give out the First Annual ’Gesty Awards. Someday you’ll remember where you were when you watched the first-ever ’Gestys. That is, assuming that you watch them in a memorable place, like on the rim of an active volcano, which we do not recommend.

In today’s installment, we give out the awards for iPhone Game Most Likely To Make You Miss A Subway Stop and Game We’ll Still Be Playing This Time Next Year. And there are also a bunch of even dumber little awards at the end. Please note: If you do not understand the last award, it’s not because there’s something wrong with you; it’s because there’s something wrong with us, by which I mean Steve Heisler. And maybe me.

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  • ToddG

    I would like to enter the race for Least Substantive Comment (Positive) with the following:

    I enjoyed this video.

    • ToddG

      (I hope John supports this nomination, even though this comment was not made LAST year.)

    • Fluka

      This.

      (*throws her hat into the race too!*)

      • PaganPoet

        +1

  • Effigy_Power

    You are of course aware that this is going to result in the first game-based barbershop quartet on the East Coast, right?
    Hilarious, guys. Especially since John seemed to be cracking up right from the start, Drew looks like he is being strangled by his tie and Steve, after interviewing Mel Brooks, appears to be on a different plane of consciousness.
    Hi-larious.

    • Fluka

      This was an awesome way to start the week.  I predict things will get sillier as the staff works the rest of their way through all the holiday office eggnog and peppermint schnapps, however.

    • Spacemonkey Mafia

      They’re going to have to bring in some outside talent to get that deep bass sound, I think.

      • http://www.gildedgreen.com/ Girard

        I nominate Polygon’s Chris Plante to hit those low notes.

      • Electric Dragon

        I’m happy to volunteer. I usually try to sing as low in my register as I can to disguise my inherent tunelessness.

  • PappyBojiggity

    The bow ties are just DRIPPING with class, gentlemen. I do wonder, did Drew borrow his look from PeeWee Herman or was that just coincidence?  Great vid, looking forward to the rest of the awards!

  • PaganPoet

    Gestation Awards? =[

    • caspiancomic

       Gesticulation Awards?

      • PaganPoet

        Gestalt Awards?

        • caspiancomic

           Exegesis Awards?

    • IntotheNightSky

      If so, I’m very disappointed.  There wasn’t a single chestburster or pregnant woman in sight.

  • PaganPoet

    Can someone make a gif of 6:03?

    • http://gameological.com/author/derricksanskrit/ Derrick Sanskrit
      • Electric Dragon

        ERROR in thread ‘main’ : com.gameological.contributor.DigestShockOverflowException
        at com.gameological.contributor.toal.drew.React:246
        at com.gameological.contributor.toal.drew.Listen:436
        at mammalia.primates.homo.sapiens.ExperienceProcessFactory:879825908

        • HobbesMkii

          I’m not gonna lie, there was a brief moment where I was worried Disqus had catastrophically malfunctioned.

        • Fluka

          @HobbesMkii:disqus The Disqus version of Poe’s Law in action…

        • http://www.gildedgreen.com/ Girard

          @HobbesMkii:disqus : Speaking of glitches, has anyone else noticed that Disqus no longer shows you who liked a comment when you click on the “likes” for it? At first I thought it was buggy on my end, but it seems consistent across browsers and other computers.

        • Electric Dragon

           @paraclete_pizza:disqus : someone on the AVClub traced it to an error in a Disqus Javascript function. With a bit of browser gymnastics you can always dig out the actual names. In Firefox, for example, enable the Debugger with CTRL-SHIFT-S, click “pause on exceptions”, click the “Likes” link and inspect the “users” array. So I can see that Eff, Fluka, Hobbes, Jackbert and Http Lovecraft “liked” my fake stack trace, the remaining one being an anonymous guest. I’m thinking of trying to write a Greasemonkey script to fix it or something, but my Javascript is hella rusty and never something I did much in the first place.

  • HobbesMkii

    Tuck that shirt in, Harpo Toal.

  • http://www.gildedgreen.com/ Girard

    Well. That was deranged.

  • Cloks

    Never shave Drew, never shave.

  • Jackbert322

    Wow. All I can do is echo @Effigy_Power:disqus : hilarious. Since I didn’t do the “Games I Loved” last week because I didn’t play any non-iOS/sports games this year, I’ll pull a Teti and be less restrictive on the requirements.

    iPod Touch Game Most Likely To Make Me Miss A Bus Stop

    Nominees: Super Hexagon and Rayman Jungle Run

    Super Hexagon: I just got this game this weekend, but THEORETICALLY, I could miss a bus stop playing it. With an average game not reaching thirty seconds, and being able to restart immediately after failure by tapping the screen, I can only pull myself away from the game if I set a STRICT time limit. Even then, I’ll still find myself playing, only quitting once I reach an arbitrary level.

    Rayman Jungle Run: I missed a stop playing this game. I had to walk four extra blocks! Similar to Super Hexagon, Rayman Jungle Run is exceptionally hard, and goes a step further by automatically restarting after failure. It is also split into levels, which makes it easier to find a stopping point, but also makes it hard to quit when stuck on a level.

    And the winner is…Rayman Jungle Run! I had to give the winner to this one, since I’ve actually missed a bus stop playing it. Also, the level based gameplay makes it easier to get lost in.

    Games I Played This Year That I’ll Still Be Playing Last Year

    Nominees: Persona 3 Portable and MLB 12 The Show

    Persona 3 Portable: I might do four playthroughs of this game, two as the male protagonist, and two as the female protagonist. I’ve only done one and that took me 45 hours and 43 minutes over the course of a month. There is so much to do in the game, so many things to maximize, I could play for 200 hours. But considering how much I like this game, I might have done that already by the end of summer vacation.

    MLB 12 The Show: I got this game for my birthday and still haven’t started a Road to the Show (make a player, play as him throughout his career), thanks to my new affinity for non-sports video games. I might not ask for MLB 13 The Show for my birthday next year, it being the end of the console generation, making innovation unlikely. Also, since I’ve essentially ran out of critically acclaimed, non-Mature rated, non-sports video games for the PS3, I’ll need something to play while I save for the next console generation. That’s where MLB 12 The Show steps in.

    And the winner is…MLB 12 The Show! I’ll very likely be done with four playthroughs of Persona 3 Portable by this time next year and Road to the Show will very likely be taking up my time. For those reasons, MLB 12 The Show has to get the nod.

    Tomorrow: nominating and selecting more games.

    Categories: a surprise!

    • PaganPoet

      Hell, even I’ll still probably be playing P3P this time next year. I still need to finish my NewGame+ in P3FES and beat the bonus dungeon and boss, but THEN I want to play P3P as the female.

    • Effigy_Power

      Echoing me is generally a good idea.

  • PhilWal0

    Wonderful awards. And congrats to John for his award for outstanding achievement in the field of excellent stud fiendishness. Will the lapel pins be for sale?

  • caspiancomic

    This is so cute I almost don’t even know what to do with myself. The matching bow ties are a nice touch, but are those matching Gameological logo lapel pins? My compliments to the costume department.

    On a related note, even though next year means Ni No Kuni, Bioshock Infinite, and  Metal Gear Rising, I still think one of my most anticipated releases for next year is the PSN remake of The Binding of Isaac. The 16-bit makeover it’s apparently getting is whetting my appetite nicely, but the deal was sealed when I heard the newest version will feature local 2 Player co-op. It kind of flies in the face of the tone of the game, but from a purely gameplay perspective, BoI is crying out for local co-op.

    • PaganPoet

      “Wardrobe provided by the estate of Yves Saint Laurent”

      ~classy~ GS ;]

  • Spacemonkey Mafia

    I’m so pleased with Drew Toal’s coiffure of choice looking like his unruly hair has just been hastily slicked down by a giant cat tongue.

  • uselessyss

    A more professional display of professionalism I have never seen.

    I look forward to the next installment.

    • http://www.avclub.com/users/ghaleonq,4597/ GhaleonQ

      Now that 1-Up is diminished, I can’t think of a more likable group of video games writers.  This is an actual compliment, not just, “Jon is not wearing mayonnaise-stained game swag beneath his blazer.”

  • Daren_Gray

    Gentlemen, yes.

    This video is Daren_Gray approved.