The Games That Might Have Been

We hope that by now you’ve checked out all of the games in our playable year-in-review, Play The Year—namely Secret Agent 47%, Pareffa The Ref, Super Debate 20XX, and Star Wars: Sequel Debacle Simulatron. They’re pretty cool, and we’d once again like to salute the creators who turned them around in the pressure cooker of a two-week development schedule.

The year provided plenty more gaming inspiration where that came from. So we enlisted two Gameological comment-thread regulars who happen to be talented illustrators—Effigy Power and Mooy—to come up with concepts and illustrations for four MORE games based on the events of 2012. You can’t actually play the games below, of course, but imagine the possibilities…

Half-Life 2: Lost Hadron

The scientists at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland made a big to-do when they discovered a new elementary particle whose behavior was consistent with the long-theorized but elusive Higgs Boson. The search took years and billions of dollars. They could have saved themselves a lot of trouble if they just brought in super-physicist Gordon Freeman of Half-Life fame to find the darn thing for them. And they would have impressed the world a lot more if they had discovered the Higgs Boson while also carrying a garden gnome the whole time.

Eastwood: RNC Version

Millions of Americans watched film legend Clint Eastwood engage in verbal sparring with an empty chair, and Eastwood gamely fought the furniture to a draw. In Eastwood: RNC Version, you can relive the thrill of that bout and fight other fearsome home-decor monsters like “Jigglychaise” and “Credenzabuzz.”

The Sims 3: Gay Marriage Expansion Pack

Voters in Maryland, Maine, and Washington state approved marriage-equality initiatives on Election Day, making those three states the first in the nation to endorse gay marriage by popular vote. That means it’s time for The Sims 3 to get with the program. Except that The Sims 3 has had gay marriage from the beginning (and The Sims 2 had civil unions). The Sims 3: Gay Marriage Expansion Pack is an empty box. And the Sims themselves don’t see what all the real-world fuss is about.

Special Agent Leighton And The Horny General’s Emails

The post-election hangover can be a tough one for the media, who thrive on the endless supply of scandal and intrigue that a presidential election year provides. So the cable news outlets clicked their heels when, shortly after Obama’s re-election, supposedly squeaky-clean CIA director David Petraeus was forced to resign in the wake of an extramarital affair with his biographer, Paula Broadwell. In Special Agent Leighton, you play the FBI gumshoe assigned to investigate the tawdry affair. Can you find all the clues? You probably can, yes. The general and Ms. Broadwell don’t make it very hard on you.