The DigestVideo

The ’Gestys 2012: Day Two

There are games we wish would never end. And there are other games.

By John Teti • December 18, 2012

If you missed the first day of The ’Gesty Awards, it somehow remains available for your enjoyment.

The ’Gestys continue today as Anthony John Agnello joins us, wearing the worst jacket I have ever seen. (“Do you have a brown sports jacket?” I asked. “Yes,” he said.) We hand out awards for Sawbuck Game We’d Like To See In A “Super” Version and Best Ending. And also some more stupid awards at the end.

Steve Heisler is technically not part of the lineup for this one, but see if you can catch his surprise cameos! You’ll have to listen real close, like that scene in The Sixth Sense where Bruce Willis is listening to the therapy tapes.

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  • GaryX

    AV CLUB AWARDS UPDATE

    Hey guys, just a friendly reminds that the winners are posting this week over on http://www.avclubawards.com, so if you gotta a second, check them out!

    • Staggering Stew Bum

      I like how you’ve adopted a Mario persona while posting this on Gameological.

      • Jackbert322

        Whoa, I finally see it.

    • http://www.gildedgreen.com/ Girard

      BE FOREWARNED that the results for Best Game Soundtrack may shock and alarm you!

      • Jackbert322

        Well…fuck.

      • GaryX

        It’s okay, buddy. Gonna make it through somehow.

      • Fluka

        WHAT THE HELL HOTLINE MIAMI DIDN’T WIN?!  What godforsaken game–

        Oh.

        *Furtively turns off the Mass Effect 3 track that she is currently listening to.*

        Hotline Miami had my vote, I swear!  This reminds me that I need to go get an actual copy of the soundtrack somewhere rather than just streaming it obsessively…

      • Chum Joely

        Yeah… I haven’t even heard Mass Effect 3′s soundtrack (obviously, I didn’t play it), but I still feel comfortable declaring that Hotline Miami was ROBBED!!!

        • Effigy_Power

          I’d say that Hotline Miami has been rewarded with praise beyond measure already, so let the other kids have some cake too.

        • Chum Joely

          @Effigy_Power:disqus No. All your cake is belong to Dennaton/Devolver.

        • http://www.gildedgreen.com/ Girard

          Someone in the comments on that results page posted a Mass Effect song that was supposed to illustrate why it deserved top place. It was some boring ersatz John Williams orchestral Hollywood bullshit that immediately put me to sleep. Luckily, I had “Hydrogen” from the HLM soundtrack queued up next, and as it started, I immediately woke up, leapt to my feet, and karate-kicked a velociraptor in the face.

          It’s just that good.

        • The Guilty Party

          ME wins because of Faunts, really.

    • HobbesMkii

      Why is Day 5 called Commentariate instead of Commentariat?

      • GaryX

        Because I was posting that at like 1am after 12 hours of work. Will fix. Thanks.

        • HobbesMkii

          You are magnificently dedicated to this cause.

      • GaryX

        It’s really not that hard of work (maybe like an hour, tops). Just my work schedule got crazy this week. Plus, I told people they’d be up then, and who likes someone that doesn’t fulfill shit? Gotta keep that word.

  • George_Liquor

    Yeesh, that screen shot! It looks like something out of a Terry Gilliam animation!

  • PaganPoet

    “I’ve done actual letter press.”

    I think you shared just a little too much there, Drew. o_o

    !!!!!! 2012 GAME ENDING SPOILER BELOW JUST DON’T !!!!!

    C’mon, y’all, the ending of Journey has to win best ending. What other game ends with your character collapsing in a blizzard, arguably dying, and then gleefully ascending to heaven, soaring through clouds and lush, green mountains? The whole game is pretty magical, but the ending is the best part.

    • caspiancomic

       Agreed with all my strength. I’m still holding out hope for Spec Ops: The Line’s ending, which I’ve heard is a life-changing climax of apocalyptic proportions (Don’t spoil it for me please, aaaah I haven’t played it yet!) but I can say with confidence that so far Journey has my Ending of the Year.

      • fieldafar

        Life-changing? Maybe. Mind-warping? Yes.

      • Effigy_Power

        Turns out that Predator Drone is you long lost father.
        Sorry, I had to prewarn you.

    • Chum Joely

      I rather liked the ending of The Unfinished Swan as well. Terry Gilliam even does some good voice acting in that bit.

      • The Guilty Party

        “This is my only line”

  • Citric

    I don’t remember most of the endings of games I played this year. FFXIII-2 had a dick move, Treasure of the Rudras was mostly people standing around an airship talking intercut with someone going “MODE 7!! NEEEOOOOWWWWNNNNNNNN!!” and Assassin’s Creed had snooping in people’s emails. And those are three of the games I beat this year. Well technically not FFXIII-2, but I saw the ending.

  • http://twitter.com/MasterPrudent Glen H

    Endings-wise I think we can all agree not to talk about that thing we’re not going to talk about.

    • http://www.avclub.com/users/merve,96925/ Merve

      Are you talking about the ending of Quantum Conundrum? Because that ending sucked. Hard.

    • PaganPoet

      Are you talking about Bass Reject 3, the highly anticipated fishing-simulator game with an ending that baffled gamers everywhere?

      • HobbesMkii

         The name seems to imply catch-and-release, but then you get to the end and *spoilers* let me tell you, it is not. It is not at all.

        • Destroy Him My Robots

          But depending on how you played, it’s either a bluefin, red snapper or yellowtail. Player choice!

        • fieldafar

          @DestroyHimMyRobots:disqus Why does everyone give me a hard time because I chose the blue one?

        • PaganPoet

          Well, with the way the fans reacted, you’d think it ended with the protagonist definning a shark and throwing it back into the sea.

        • HobbesMkii

          @PaganPoet:disqus I prefer to believe that, in fact, the bass is fighting the effects of being caught on the hook the whole time.

        • http://gameological.com/author/mattkodner/ Matt Kodner

          @DestroyHimMyRobots:disqus RED SNAPPAH

          EDIT: DISQUUUUSSSS!!
          I wanted to link to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KezvwARhBIc

      • uselessyss

        Has this exact conversation been posted elsewhere? 

        I am having the weirdest case of deja vu right now.

  • caspiancomic

    Super Super House of Dead Ninjas or bust! Also acceptable: Super Knightmare Tower, although I feel like that game’s premise may have been as thoroughly explored as it needed to get within the confines of a browser game.

  • Mookalakai

    White guys wearing synchronized Nation of Islam outfits, we have now achieved racial harmony.

    • Staggering Stew Bum

      John Teti Danny Duberstein’d the fuck outta the men in that video.

  • feisto

    Are we eventually going to get a touching “In Memoriam” segment to all the game companies we lost this year? Please?

  • http://www.gildedgreen.com/ Girard

    For some reason, I love John’s incredulity re: Samus’s ‘jauntiness’ immediately preceding his once again asserting Drew Toal’s ‘rakishness.’

    • Captain Internet

      My mind went blank as soon as the “giant red helmet” was mentioned

      • http://www.avclub.com/users/merve,96925/ Merve

        The gesture Anthony did as he said it took my mind to a very different place.

    • Fluka

      “It’s pretty jaunty.”

  • HobbesMkii

    Some of these technical awards seem kinda invented. Is anyone else feeling that?

    • Precarious Loaf

      Isn’t all of life a stage…. 

      … of, ummm, invented things?

      • HobbesMkii

        Whoa. That’s pretty existential.

        Also: no.

    • http://www.avclub.com/users/merve,96925/ Merve

      I think they’re technical awards in the sense that they’re technically awards.

    • Electric Dragon

      I look forward to next week with the Daytime Gestys and the Latin Gestys.

      • Sleverin

         The worst part about the Latin Gesty’s is when you’re surrounded by a sea of waiters who can’t take a drink order.  And then they get friendly with the guests!  The insolence of the help I swear!

        • Effigy_Power

          At least there are lots of attractive brown shapes with points to flirt with from a distance.

    • feisto

      You’re expecting too much from a category that even industry veterans refer to as the “Testys.”

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-John-Agnello/1362601810 Anthony John Agnello

      I assure you that there a number of technical awards that didn’t make it into the broadcast. 

      Also, John was forewarned about the raw magic that is my brown sports coat.

      • Spacemonkey Mafia

        Yeah, that jacket has “tenement-Dwelling Widower” written all over it.
           Perfect for stepping out to get a knish or stopping by the social security office to see what’s been holding up the checks.

      • http://gameological.com/author/derricksanskrit/ Derrick Sanskrit

        I warned him about your old silk smoking jacket. I can only assume he now knows I was not joking.

    • caspiancomic

       In tomorrow’s technical awards we’re going to see the Derrick Sanskrit Award for Lifetime Achievement in the Field of Being Derrick Sanskrit go to, in an upset, Ellie Gibson.

      • PaganPoet

        I want to see the reaction shot of Derrick Sanskrit’s face, trying hard to be gracious, clapping with a fake smile holding back seething rage.

        • http://gameological.com/author/derricksanskrit/ Derrick Sanskrit

          Now you’re just asking my to make gifs all day, which is unfair, because I will.

          Frankly, I’m delighted about the Steve Heisler award and its overshadowing of my slightly less obvious nominating of the dedicated hug button from A Boy And His Blob for every Inventory.

      • Electric Dragon

        “Unfortunately Ellie can’t be with us today, because we can’t afford the plane fare. So, to accept it on her behalf, here’s Derrick Sanskrit.”

  • Effigy_Power

    “Rakish Drew” will forever be the name of an RPG character from now on.
    Also I am pretty sure Steve was high on himself for getting to interview Mel Brooks. And Anthony’s coat appears to have been taken violently from a Dickensian Caroler.

    PS: No Puzzle Craft for Android. Typical. Burn in hell, iPhones.

    • Electric Dragon

      When I finally get round to XCOM, that’s totally going to be a nickname. ‘Lt. Drew “Rakish” Toal’ has a ring to it, n’est-ce pas?

  • Jackbert322

    Okay, I’m doing this again, in far less detail.

    Sawbuck Game I’d Most Like To See In A “Super” Version

    Nominees: Super House of Dead Ninjas and Punch Quest

    Super House of Dead Ninjas: Yeah, this game is fleshed out already, but wouldn’t it be great to have MORE? The controls were already tight, make a bunch more floors, add some new mechanics (I dunno, I’m not a game designer!) and release on Steam.

    Punch Quest: This game is fun on iOS, but sometimes the controls are imprecise. There is some combo options that are tough to execute correctly. Put it on Vita! The long screen is perfect for the game, use the face and shoulder buttons for combos, add more combos and hats, and put in a mission system. Boom, great PSN game.

    And the winner is…Punch Quest! My desire for Super Super House of Dead Ninjas is a bit greedy, definitely. But Punch Quest really would be PERFECT as a PSN game on Vita.

    Best Ending Of A Game I Played This Year

    Nominees: Infamous 2 and Persona 3 Portable

    Infamous 2: In the first Infamous, endings weren’t that different. Whether you were good or evil, the only thing that changed in Empire City was the sky color. Infamous 2 is completely on the other end of the spectrum. Evil? EVERYBODY DIES! Good? YOU DIE! Is it a bit extreme? Sure! But it’s not the end result, it’s the things you do during the ending. For example, in the evil ending, you have to kill your best friend, and it’s done well, it’s not trite, it’s even a bit moving. And, really, even the end results are done well if you think deeper than probably was intended, about the distillation of slave morality. So yeah, great ending.

    Persona 3 Portable: The ending is very good. No spoilers here, finish it Caspian!

    And the winner is…Mass Effect 3! :p Nah, it’s Infamous 2. I could reiterate would I said above, but that’s pretty much it. Great ending to a great game.

    • caspiancomic

       I’m almost there! I think tonight’s gonna be the night!

      • Jackbert322

        Muahahahahahaha, that means you have to wait until WAYPTW to talk about it! Now you know how I feel! Muahahahahahahahaha! *head explodes from anticipation for Thursday night*

      • Sleverin

         Hope you do.  Enjoy one of the best videogame endings ever.

  • Sleverin

    Blegh bad comment system, bad!

  • Sleverin

     I said this in another thread:  I totally cried at the end of Persona 3.  Crying isn’t a thing I do, I mean, sad, surely, empathy towards characters, totally, but crying?  Never happens.  Also, another nod to Caspian for showing us Katawa Shoujo, I spent all eekend playing it, co completely hooked

    • Chum Joely

      The “fist” dating sim you’ve played. I thought you wanted to REMOVE the adult content, not make it even more extreme…?

      • Sleverin

         Thanks for pointing that out, I was trying to type out my comment, but the damn disqus thing stopped showing my text about halfway through.  Perfect typo though.  Oh, NOW it fixes itself, thanks Disqus for making me do stupid awkward crap on the net, good job.

      • Sleverin

         I have to admit, now that I think about it, the first playthrough had the adult content on and it actually sort of helped…well not the story but the high school setting.  Gotta love that ol’ awkward high school teenage getting used to sex and then experimenting.  No matter how old you get, remembering it never really removes the awkwardness.

    • PaganPoet

      I love P3′s ending, and it definitely tugs at the heart strings, but did you ever find it odd that Aigis is the one who was present? It seems to me that, canonically speaking anyway, Yukari is the closer one to the protagonist. Great ending, though, very understated, peaceful and sad.

      Have you played through any of the P4 games? A lot of fans speculate that P4Arena’s story is setting the stage for P5. Indeed, it relates directly to P2, P3 and P4, and arguable P1 as well. Would be cool to see cameos from old characters in P5.

      • Sleverin

         Aigis, however, is the motherly matronly figure.  She keeps watch and stands at the protagonists side, and is in fact a shield, in a sense, her name obviously deriving from the fact of her role.  I myself went with the kendo class girl as my “love interest” shall we say, but yeah I can see what you’re saying about Yukari (if I remember correctly part of her S. Link line is finding about what happens to her parents) being there making sense. 

        I’ve currently on the…underground base(?) dungeon of P4 nearly at the boss.  I need to catch up on that some more and power through some grinding, some of those enemies are brutal in that dungeon.  I’m curious to see what the next plot point is…what was that damn kid thinking getting himself kidnapped?

        • PaganPoet

          Yeah, your analysis makes sense.

          I would actually like to learn more about the Arcana and how the characters relate to their respective classes. For example, the Moon Arcana, on the surface it seems like Nozomi from P3 and Ai from P4 have NOTHING in common. Until you realize that they’re both rude and standoffish people hiding something darker with serious self-esteem issues bubbling underneath their veneers. I’d like to draw connections between all the links like that.

          If I remember correctly, that’s the dungeon in which my Rise finally learned “Relaxing Wave” which makes things much, much easier. It restores 5% of your party’s SP after each battle (eventually it upgrades to 10% if you level up her Social Link). It was the dungeon before that (the video game castle) that always gives me the hardest time. I, in fact, just barely survived Shadow Mitsuo when I was there.
          I’m near the end of the game myself, but frustrated because I maxed out all of my S.Links EXCEPT ONE! If you’re playing Golden version of the game, make sure you get your Jester Social Link to level 6 by November 2!!

        • Sleverin

          Ok so I can’t reply directly (weird). 

          Anyways, from what little I know about..uh, occult topics (I’m really reaching here) the Moon usually symbolizes that which is hidden, or possibly the true self if you were applying it to peoples personalities.  Of course this is going off of knowledge I haven’t read since…9 years ago.

          Also, I’ve been meaning to play the earlier Persona games to understand the connection (if any) between the games.  Since you actually visit Gekkoukan High in P4 and meet..was it Chihiro?  They are obviously connected but I would like to know if there was some more continuity.  To be honest, I really miss the Evokers, they were an interesting sort of visceral way to activate a characters abilities.

        • PaganPoet

          Well, they all relate to each other in general mythology and mood.

          P1 and P2 relate directly to each other in terms of setting and characters.

          P3 and P4 relate to each other in terms of setting and characters. Hell, the P4 team travels to Tatsumi Port Island and meets Chihiro and Mr. Edogawa, and stays at the same love hotel from one of the full moon events in P3.

          P2 and P4 relate directly to each other in terms of facing the shadow self and acknowledging your darkest secrets and shames.

          Some fans argue that the story mode of P4Arena ties all 5 games together, which is an argument I personally think is pretty cool and hope is expanded on in Persona 5.

          The evokers are pretty cool, but I can see why they were removed other than the controversy. P3 in general is a much more somber game, with a much more oppressive atmosphere. That’s not to say that P4 isn’t dark as well (the idea of your biggest shames and secrets being broadcast on TV for the whole town to see is pretty dark), but the mood in general is a little more light-hearted.

      • Sleverin

         Interesting, I didn’t know that there was any controversy concerning the Evokers.

        P4Arena…is that on PSVita only and also, is it just a sidescrolling fighting game involving the Persona characters?  I was never quite clear on that. 

        • PaganPoet

          P4Arena is actually for XBox 360 and PS3, and it’s a 2D fighter co-developed by Atlus and Arc Systems (Guilty Gear/BlazBlue). It’s really very good, highly recommended for Persona fans and fighter fans.
          However, if you absolutely can’t stand fighters, I would at least recommend you read up the story of the game, as it is a direct and CANON sequel to Persona 3 AND Persona 4.

        • Sleverin

           Ah, interesting.  I’m not the best at fighters but I am now interested in the game.  Of course I have NEITHER of those systems so I’ll probably not play it for years…I should probably just read about the plot.  I hear Guilty Gear and Blazblue are good games, a friend of mine is a huuuuge fan. 

          Also, wasn’t that dungeon crawl of the dungeon one of the more fun meta-esque things in a videogame?  “Aw man, is that supposed to be his idea of a videogame character?  Jeez, how degrading can you get?”

  • Chum Joely

    How exactly did you guys proceed from nominees to winners? Is there a Gameological Academy behind the scenes that we’re not seeing here?

    • http://gameological.com/author/derricksanskrit/ Derrick Sanskrit

      That’s for Soupy to know and the rest of us to never ever find out.

      • PaganPoet

        Soupy? Oh man, so this thing could be rigged with just a pinch of catnip.

        • http://www.gildedgreen.com/ Girard

          Folks who have been (un?)fortunate enough to be implicated in Comment Cat features know what it’s like to have one’s heart in her fickle paws…

  • Chum Joely

    I think Steve Heisler was the runaway star of today’s version. I thought he was going to say “I’m still high” at the end there, though.

    • Effigy_Power

      “He’s still alive.”

      • Fluka

        Well, he *did* say that he was high on life too…

        • http://www.avclub.com/users/merve,96925/ Merve

          Speaking of things that aren’t high at all, let’s talk about low, low prices on games. (Okay, that was the most terrible segue ever. But I at least want to pretend that I’m staying on topic somehow.) A while ago, you expressed interest in getting Jade Empire. I just wanted to let you know that it’s on sale for $3.74 on Steam right now. BioWare does Steampunk Medieval China. With kung-fu and swords and magic and GIANT POISONOUS TOADS. You know you want it.

        • Fluka

          @Merve2:disqus Why you tell me these things. :(  *Sheds a tiny tear as her hands move involuntarily to spend $3.74.*

        • Effigy_Power

          I’d hate to correct you, Merve, but it’s actually Renaissance China.
          Actually I love correcting people.

    • His_Space_Holiness

      He definitely gets the “Best-Timed Callback” award.

    • Mikehole

      On Drugs!

  • Fluka

    This was as good as yesterday’s, i.e. hilarious.

    However, yesterday’s wins by default, as it had a cat in a bow tie and shirt collar.

    • HobbesMkii

      Right? If Soupy’s tabulating the results, how come we don’t see him more often?

      • Fluka

        I assume they write the nominees on pieces of paper, throw them on the floor, and whichever one he decides to take a nap on (or gnaw) is the winner.  Must be documented for the sake of transparency, though, sez Cat Election Oversight Committee!  

      • http://gameological.com/author/johnteti/ John Teti

        Just wait…

        • HobbesMkii

          I feel like we’re owed at least six straight minutes of bowtie Soupy. I don’t have anything to justify or back up this feeling, but I feel it. And thus I will demand it. Demand, I say!

        • Effigy_Power

          I feel we are owed to see the cast of the Gestys running up and down a very long hallway, in and out of doors, to the tune of Jakety Sax, all while trying to get away from Soupy.
          That I’d pay for. With a smile.

      • Spacemonkey Mafia

        Why, if we peek through this door, perhaps we’ll catch a glimpse of Soupy at work!

  • http://gameological.com/author/derricksanskrit/ Derrick Sanskrit

    My little sister “finished” PuzzleCraft over the weekend (she successfully upgraded her LoserVille to a kingdom) and called me to say she was furious at the prospect of an iPhone game having a point at which she felt “done,” so obviously she will be upset about these results.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-John-Agnello/1362601810 Anthony John Agnello

      I was so relieved when Puzzle Craft ended. “I’m FREE I thought.” Doesn’t mean I don’t want a sequel, though. There are so many different things that can be matched! Like cars in traffic! Our strike breakers at a union rally trying to build a labor movement in my horrific totalitarian regime!

    • Chum Joely

      That attitude seems weird to me. Puts a pretty extreme constraint on game design to insist that iPhone games should never finish, right?

  • Spacemonkey Mafia

    Man.  Day 2 of the ‘Gesty’s have really fallen into hollow, commercial spectacle.
       I remember Day 1 of the First Annual ‘Gesty’s when it was still about passion for gaming.

    • HobbesMkii

      Goddamn hipsters! Get the hell out of here!

      *swats at @Spacemonkey_Mafia:disqus with a broom*

      Shoo! Shoo!

    • Effigy_Power

      I hear tomorrow’s Gestys are sponsored by Doritos XTREME Ranch and Double Dew Extreme. Music by Nickelback. Directed by Brett Ratner. Effects by Michael Bay.
      And all awards will go to some version of Call of Duty. And the new Call of Duty 5: Black Ops 3: Rifle-Shooter 2: Revenge of the Dark Side of the Fallen Renegade Maverick Bubblegum Table Donkey Floop… a game completely written in Dadaism.

      • Citric

        I prefer Battlefield 4: Bad Company 3: Wonder Boy 6: Monster World 5: Rogue Squadron 2: Warfighter

        • Electric Dragon

           : Manchester United nil.

    • Fyodor Douchetoevsky

      Needs to go back to gaming’s roots. Needs some D&D. 

      D&D of course being Doritos and ‘Dew.

      • http://www.avclub.com/users/merve,96925/ Merve

        Did you say “Doritos and ‘Dew”?
        (Warning: it gets gross at around 3:25.)

        • Spacemonkey Mafia

          At first I thought you linked to this, which is my favorite Doritos-themed thing ever.

        • Fyodor Douchetoevsky

          What even. “Not for consumption?” What?

        • http://www.avclub.com/users/merve,96925/ Merve

          @Spacemonkey_Mafia:disqus: I don’t know how they fit so many sorta-famous comedians into just over 30 seconds.

        • Spacemonkey Mafia

          @Merve2:disqus The power of Doritos, natch.  The one really good line from the video you posted was his description of the Dorito bag air smelling of a T.J. Maxx.

  • aiutiu
  • sndfnd

     http://lnk.co/KQ35L

  • sndfnd
  • http://twitter.com/pocoGRANDES poco GRANDES

    wow, how did Journey get skipped for best ending?