Out This Week

Devil May Cry

Cry Me A River

Join the devil in sobbing for yet another slow release week.

By Steve Heisler • January 15, 2013

Out This Week is a roundup of new games that are out this week. These listings don’t constitute an endorsement or a review of any sort. We also don’t pretend that this is an exhaustive list. If there’s a game on the horizon that interests you, share it in the comments.

DmC: Devil May Cry
PC, PlayStation 3, Xbox 360—January 15

This game sure knows its audience. Dante, a hunter of the undead, swings his scythe and shoots pistols like a demented merry-go-round, decimating demons in a parallel universe that exists somewhere between heaven and hell. This guy’s gotta have, like, an eye patch and a lip ring that wraps around his entire head, right? Nope. White dude with tufted hair. Like six-foot-two, 175 pounds or so. I assume that scruffy Channing Tatum has been pre-cast to play lead in possible upcoming film adaptation, because our society does not have any imagination.

Corpse Party: Book Of Shadows
PSP, PS Vita—January 15

There can be a little romance in these Corpse Party games, each of which is inspired by the bright-eyed anime style of the accompanying comics. They take place in a school, and they feature characters at an age when hormones are running wild. This one promises that at one point, a boy says to a girl, perhaps concealing his secret crush, “The smell you produce will be fouler than any toilet.” Whatever happened to the good old days of, “You stink”?

Borderlands 2: Sir Hammerlock’s Big Game Hunt
Mac, PC, PlayStation 3, Xbox 360—January 15

The legacy of Borderlands 2 is that it’s a game that offered you more guns than a thousand players could ever need. This add-on essentially exists to provide you with more targets for those guns—big, moving targets like a scorpion the size of a brownstone. Godzilla, watch your back. Same goes for you, Sentient Mount Rushmore.

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63 Responses to “Cry Me A River”

  1. PaganPoet says:

    It’s better the devil you know! Gr8 Kylie Minogue promo, Gameological Society. ULTIMATE KYLIE, OUT NOW! (I’m actually a bit of a Kylie stan, and now that song is in my head: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgvhvaSQZeE) Early 90s happiness!
    Excited to eventually play DmC, but I so rarely pick up games on launch day. Way too expensive. In any case, I’ve read nothing but great reviews, and at the very least, it HAS to be better than DMC2 and 4. In spite of all the fanboy rage over the “reboot,” sometimes that’s exactly what an ailing series needs. And I happen to think the new Dante is kind of hot (it doesn’t help that he’s naked for like 75% of the cinematic trailer).

    • HobbesMkii says:

      Plus, look how big his sword is.

    • Fluka says:

      I have no opinion on DmC whatsoever (besides a nod of approval at the fully objectifying male nudity).  But the white hot fanboy rage has been giving me a tiny smile all week.

      • Fyodor Douchetoevsky says:

        I honestly didn’t think there were that many people who cared that much about Devil May Cry. I guess the first and third games were pretty fun, but I played them when i was like 15 or so, and I thought the style  was lame then. Is this like sonic or something, where there’s this weird fanbase that takes it super seriously or something?

        I really wish games would get past this lame ass shit that I guess is appealing to 14 year olds. It’s pretty cringeworthy. 

        • PaganPoet says:

          I’ve seen people who’ve lamented his new design as “emo,” because, you know, it’s not like that word stopped meaning anything like 6 years ago.

          I’ve also seen it described as “twinky.” *tee hee* 

          Frankly his new design is a lot more appealing. The old design, like you said, is like a 14 year old’s version of what “badass” looks like.

        • Girard says:

          @PaganPoet:disqus : The old Dante was so silly-looking that there was ZERO risk of my finding him attractive and having my fragile masculinity threatened – this new, sexy Dante HAS TO GO!!

        • Citric says:

          Emo? But he’s got a sensible haircut.

          He actually reminds me of one of the local real estate agents. I will concede that I can recognize that said real estate agent is a rather handsome man.

    • Girard says:

      According this this pretty awesome boss battle (fighting a gestalt Fox News entity), Dante was a “well-known cruiser in the seedier districts of the city”…

    • Chum Joely says:

      A Kylie “stan”?

  2. Citric says:

    The DmC demo made me think two things:
    1- It’s nice to see a game with an art style that uses bright, vibrant colors and presents visual information in bold ways.
    2- The voice acting is so bad.

    I might get this when it hits the cheap bins.

  3. Cloks says:

    You wrote Channing Tatum but I read Carol Channing and now I don’t really want to see any other movies until this is made.

  4. Girard says:

    Hey, everyone! Just in case you were getting your hopes a little too high about the state of the games industry, take a gander at this tasteful little number!

    • Good lord.  Who thinks of these things??

    • Fyodor Douchetoevsky says:

      FUCK YOU. I just saw that on RPS. Fuck everything. Of course people are defending for some reason, because fucking videogamers are actually literal shitbags.

      Also this isn’t the first time the Dead Island crew has proven to be horrible. Back when the game came out someone was going through the code and a skil or perk or whatever had been called “feminist whore.” It was removed from the actual game, but still. I’m assuming they employ actually adult people. So this dude goes to work one day and puts the words “feminist whore” into a game that he’s being payed to help make. What the fuck. And of course hordes of shitwads on the internet came around to tell everyone to not be offended, because that’s stupid or something. 

      Fuck that shit. Fuck. Fuck all of these people who post horrible shit on the internet. FUCK YOU. YOU ARE AWFUL WASTES OF PEOPLE. 

      Yes, I mad. Ugh.

      In totally unrelated news netflix is gonna get some cartoon network shows soonish, including goddamn ADVENTURE TIME. 

      • HobbesMkii says:

        But would you really want to live in a world where a videogame developer didn’t market their game with cleavage devoid of its contextual arms, legs, and head? 

        Oh…wait…of course you would. Anyone sensible would. Unfortunately, that is not the world we live in.

        • Girard says:

          Most ad campaigns and music videos simply use clever cropping and framing to decontextualize the secondary sexual characteristics of women to turn them into inhuman sexual objects.

          It takes real ingenuity to accomplish the same thing by actually depicting a dismembered, decapitated, sexualized woman’s corpse.

          Wait, ‘ingenuity’ isn’t the word I’m looking for…

      • Girard says:

        Part of me is curious to look at the Kotaku comments on their inevitable coverage of the story, but I fear doing so would completely eradicate any remaining good will I feel toward mankind and transform me into whatever the opposite of Will Ferrel’s “Bitch Hunter” character is.

        • Jackbert322 says:

          They’re not…THAT bad. There are some who are like “ohohoho what’s the prob?” but most are pretty sickened, like a non-sickening person should be.

      • Fluka says:

        Sigh.  Every time you think things are getting a little better…

        The sad part is that you can pretty much predict how these conversations are going to go every time.  It doesn’t matter how completely inexcusable the incident in question is, there will always be some Internet Dude there ready to gallantly defend it as “Not that bad!  Stop bringing misogyny into everything!”  If only the internet mob could get as angry about this kind of shit as they get about DmC getting “dumbed down” or the ending of Mass Effect 3.

        Can I just say that I love John Walker and RPS, though?  And how much I am considering blocking their comments?  Rarely has a community so little deserved the quality of their writers.

      • Jackbert322 says:

        (1) FUCK FUCK FUCK this is pathetic, who would even THINK of doing this?!

        (2) Yay, Adventure Time, WHOOO, now I can finally watch it all!!

    • double_hawk says:

      HAHAHAHAHAHA wow that is a hilariously bad idea! Honestly its too stupid to be offensive. 

      My favorite quote:
      “I am not seeing the connection between a zombie game called Dead Island: Riptide
      and a pair of Union flag covered breasts on a de-limbed torso,” wrote
      Polygon comment moderator Shaun McIlroy. “Someone help me here.”

      ….seriously?  I don’t think he understands what a zombie is…

    • John Teti says:

      I almost admire this, if only because I imagine it has to be extraordinarily difficult to build a creative organization in which not one person with decision-making power said, “This is the worst fucking idea I have ever seen in my life, and we cannot do this, period.”

      Seriously. Think of how hard it would be to find just a single person whose immediate reaction to this object would be something other than “No. Absolutely not.” Now, I figure there are probably at least a dozen people in the marketing department that created this thing. Conservative estimate.

      I don’t even see it as a promotional item. It’s a piece of shock art, a bold sculptural indictment of groupthink.

      • HobbesMkii says:

        There were probably three or four people in the company whose immediate reaction was “No. Absolutely not.” However, none of them were ever in the same room together, and as a result they looked around, saw the group-think was against them, and kept their mouths shut. 

        Now they get to go to meetings to discuss how to handle the backlash and they sit there thinking, “dammit! If only I’d said something!”

      • Fluka says:

        “Well guys…we did already have that ‘feminist whore’ incident…  And the whole Hitman: Absolution trailer thing happened…  And all those #1reasonwhy tweets are just now dying down…  And violence in games is a huge topic at the moment after the school shooting…  So we need to be extra sensitive with this collector’s item!”

        “Disembodied bloody female torso with perfect tits and a thong?”

        “Oooh, it’ll make people think of Greek sculpture!  Tasteful!”

      • Fyodor Douchetoevsky says:

        Thank you so much for this site, again. It’s actually crazy how this is the only site I’ve found that doesn’t have hordes and hordes of shitty people saying shitty things after every fucking article. 

        Gameological is awesome. I love this site so much. Shit. I don’t know how I managed talkin bout videogames on the internet before this place was around.

        Thank you.

      • Spacemonkey Mafia says:

        My thought was the same as when I’d watch a lot of Spike And Mike’s Sick and Twisted animation.  Which was, you’d watch something completely juvenile that felt like the creators would conceive with the “Wouldn’t it be hilarious if…” type thought that immediately dissipates into the æthher where all those stoned giggle fit notions rightfully go.
           But to grab a hold of that idea and maintain it’s sense of worth through approximately 2000 hand-drawn cells fascinates me.
           I’ve had some pretty okay ideas that I’ve let die before completion just because I’d get to a point where I’d think, “This is dumb”.
           It’s amazing to me no one in a position of authority felt the same way strongly enough to not find themselves facing media blow back and uttering a shocked “I can’t believe they don’t like the torso!”   

      • Sleverin says:

         I just don’t get how anyone thought “Well, they banned Left 4 dead 1 and 2 in Australia so why don’t we sell this exclusive item in only 2 places: Europe and Australia.”  From what I understand Australia has a real big set of action for censoring violence and I just have no idea why this would come up.  I’m not that violently offended but it is just horrendously dumb, I can’t think of a person happily buying this and thinking it was fun to have around the house.

    • Effigy_Power says:

      That seems too expensive to produce to simply be another attempt at marketing through controversy. Resin poured and hand-painted sculptures are a pretty big investment for that.

      It’s just a really distasteful idea by a bunch of bro-style game developers who didn’t have anyone around to tell them why this might be a famously bad idea. That’s the problem when you’re only surrounded by like-minded people who share the same interests and humor you enjoy, which is what social media is trying to impose on everyone sometimes.

      I have to assume that some people must have had doubts in the creative process and just either didn’t say anything to stop the wave of insanity or backed down by an avalanche of party-pooper references. Their failure is probably greater than that of the caveman who thought this was a good idea.

      Well done, gaming. Yet another fantastic link FOX News can put in their running news bar to demonize our hobby. Well done indeed.

      • Bakken Hood says:

        I might be overestimating the intelligence of the public here, but here goes.  It seems to me that the natural response to that atrocity, maybe the one the designers were going for, is one of awkward silences and accusatory glances at Dane Cook fans, not high fives among those fans.  I’m not convinced it’s a “bro-style” celebration of misogyny so much as a deconstruction of that mindset.

        I’m probably overestimating the intelligence of the public.

        • Effigy_Power says:

          That would be my guess too…
          Every time I think something is a clever and outrageous comment, it turns out it’s just really stupid.

        • Bad Horse says:

          I very much doubt that the marketers of a big-budget zombie cash-in are interested in making subversive promo swag.

      • Spacemonkey Mafia says:

        For the sake of my own sanity, I’m going to completely lie to myself and assume it unfolded like this:
           “Goddammit, Jackson,why’d you put a bid on an unseen warehouse liquidation?  What in fuck all are we goin’ do with 50,000 unsold Venus De Milo souvenirs?”   

    • PaganPoet says:

      I can’t.

      Even if we can ignore the whole creepy necrophilia/sexualization of a dead body angle of this thing, it’s also just really hideous. I mean, what would you do with it? Display it in your house? Use it as a Halloween decoration? Centerpiece at your next dinner party?

      • HobbesMkii says:

        Don’t you remember that one episode of Martha Stewart Living where she crafted a festive amputated torso wearing a Union Jack bikini out of gourds and some sticks and leaves she found in her backyard?

        • PaganPoet says:

          She added a pinch of chicory as well, it gives that extra little something to make your autumn special. It’s a good thing.

        • HobbesMkii says:

          @PaganPoet:disqus “Now, I like to use some really big gourds here for the breasts so that there’s some nice ample cleavage, but you can also make this with smaller gourds for a D or even a C cup, although I can’t imagine why you would.”

    • doyourealize says:

      The warning to the right claims that it “Includes Content that May Cause Offence”, which probably was printed at the Department of Redundancy Department.

    • Merve says:

      Why the hell would anyone think this is a good idea? To quote 30 Rock, this is “too confusing to be offensive.”

    • His_Space_Holiness says:

      The only silver lining I can think of is that one of those ridiculous things might be used in a hilarious updated version of A Christmas Story’s “leg lamp” subplot.

    • Spacemonkey Mafia says:

      I, for one am quite pleased.  I think as a fellow gamer, you’d agree it’s tough to find just the right accessory to hold down your fecal-soaked masturbation rags and uncured squirrel hides. 

  5. HobbesMkii says:

    In non nude torso-related news today, has anyone else looked at this Omerta game that’s being advertised for (specifically as a pre-order on Steam)? It looks like XCOM if that game had a child with Boardwalk Empire and it had a substantially lower budget for graphics and animation. How do people feel about that?

  6. I’ve been playing the new DMC for a few hours now and it’s actually pretty awesome

  7. Okay, I’ll bite! Let’s talk about Borderlands!

    I can’t handle more Borderlands right now guys. I didn’t finish the last DLC or the one before that. I got most of the way through the first one (finished the “story” but gave up after one pathetic run at the ultraboss) and played about thirty minutes of the second DLC before removing the game from my PS3 (cliffhanger: FOREVER???*).

    Is anyone out there still enjoying the Borderlands DLC, aside from it repeatedly scratching yr completionist itch as you slog through the plot to tick off the new achievements? Furthermore, does anybody else play this game on the PS3, or is it just me? Sub-question: will you be my friend

    *Probably not — as you’d probably have figured if you’d read the rest of my comment before skipping down to this addendum — though definitely for the foreseeable future.

    • EmperorNortonI says:

       I’m still very slowly working through the original campaign content in my two or three local co-op games.  I forsee plowing through the DLC at an equally slow rate.  I really believe this to be the best way to play this game.  I absolutely love it.