Out This Week is a roundup of new games that are out this week. These listings don’t constitute an endorsement or a review of any sort. We also don’t pretend that this is an exhaustive list. If there’s a game on the horizon that interests you, share it in the comments.
Ni No Kuni: Wrath Of The White Witch
PlayStation 3—January 22
A little boy, whose mother died from a heart attack while trying to save him from drowning, is transported to a parallel universe by his stuffed animal (rockin’ a killer nose ring), who comes to life from his tears. Meanwhile, a cabal of nightmare villains send a terrifying dreadlocked wizard to murder this orphan, or at the very least steal the part of his soul that makes him human. Rated E for everyone.
Playstation 3, Wii U—January 22; OS X, PC, Xbox 360—January 23
Seven strangers, each with their own set of skills, are drawn to an odd talking cave to learn about the puzzles within. But maybe—just maybe—they’ll learn a thing or two about the puzzles within themselves. Welcome to The Real World: The Cave.
Knights and mages put their life on the line defending those who cannot defend themselves. Why shouldn’t they be allowed a respite every once in a while, you MONSTER? Dungeonland offers just such a break—it’s a medieval-themed amusement park where our regal protectors can let loose with knives and fire spells, in the same way that we enjoy spending time in our regular-person-themed amusement parks full of prostitutes (Las Vegas). And much like the time my college friends and I prank called all those escort services, Dungeonland is overrun with troublemakers who must be dispatched using your wits and a quick *-6-9 call to hotel security.