Sawbuck Gamer


You Can Do It!

Fallumns inspires you to overcome.

By Drew Toal • January 3, 2013

Sawbuck Gamer is our daily review of a free or cheap ($10 or less) game.

I was kicked out of my AP physics class in high school for not maintaining the required grades. Part of the blame rests with general laziness and lack of ability, but the lion’s share belongs to distractions caused by several games installed on my TI-84 graphing calculator—Avalanche, Turbo Breakout, Fall Down. This last requires players to navigate a ball through randomly generated gaps in the floor. As you progress, that game speeds up and difficulty increases.

Fallumns takes the formula and adds an ambidextrous element. Instead of one path downward, players must play two distinct games of Fall Down simultaneously, one with each hand. Failure on either side ends the game. It’s deceptively, punishingly difficult—and I say this as a man who has only moderate trouble patting his head and rubbing his stomach at the same time.

Fortunately, the game also comes with the Most Inspirational Song Ever Written. Although you can switch Fallumn’s soundtrack to any tune in the Newgrounds music system, there is no reason to do so when the default anthem makes the Rocky theme sound as motivational as a funeral dirge. “You can do it if you try. No one can stand in your way. You are the greatest that there ever was… You always come through no matter the odds. You’re less like a man, and more like a god! And the gods, they’re ants to you! And there’s nothing you can’t do! You can do it!” Excuse me while I go register for a community college physics class.

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15 Responses to “You Can Do It!”

  1. Aurora Boreanaz says:

    If it weren’t for Zynga’s social virus game-like objects, I would place the “play two screens at once” games at the top of my most hated list.  NO thankye!

    • The_Misanthrope says:

       Yeah, it’s really not for me either, but to anyone willing to take the challenge, may I suggest an alternate soundtrack?

      508971=”Hungry Like the Wolf”

      • JudgeReinhold says:

        Yes! I’m terrible at this game, but this song makes my failures even more tolerable than the default song (given how awful I am, the default song just feels like mockery after a while). 

  2. HobbesMkii says:

    Oh, man, I had Super Mario on my TI-84. 

  3. caspiancomic says:

    Ha! Fall Down is the reason I very nearly failed grade 11 math! It is also, in retrospect, probably the reason I can no longer do any math more complicated than addition and subtraction.

  4. lokimotive says:

    Can we just go ahead and talk about the song some more? Because, seriously, that is the most wonderful thing in the world.

    Sadly, I cannot do it.

  5. Mookalakai says:

    I totally rock at this game. But that’s only because I’m less of a man, and more of a GOD.

  6. Nolan C says:

    This is the greatest game.