Sawbuck Gamer

Fallumns

You Can Do It!

Fallumns inspires you to overcome.

By Drew Toal • January 3, 2013

Sawbuck Gamer is our daily review of a free or cheap ($10 or less) game.

I was kicked out of my AP physics class in high school for not maintaining the required grades. Part of the blame rests with general laziness and lack of ability, but the lion’s share belongs to distractions caused by several games installed on my TI-84 graphing calculator—Avalanche, Turbo Breakout, Fall Down. This last requires players to navigate a ball through randomly generated gaps in the floor. As you progress, that game speeds up and difficulty increases.

Fallumns takes the formula and adds an ambidextrous element. Instead of one path downward, players must play two distinct games of Fall Down simultaneously, one with each hand. Failure on either side ends the game. It’s deceptively, punishingly difficult—and I say this as a man who has only moderate trouble patting his head and rubbing his stomach at the same time.

Fortunately, the game also comes with the Most Inspirational Song Ever Written. Although you can switch Fallumn’s soundtrack to any tune in the Newgrounds music system, there is no reason to do so when the default anthem makes the Rocky theme sound as motivational as a funeral dirge. “You can do it if you try. No one can stand in your way. You are the greatest that there ever was… You always come through no matter the odds. You’re less like a man, and more like a god! And the gods, they’re ants to you! And there’s nothing you can’t do! You can do it!” Excuse me while I go register for a community college physics class.

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  • Aurora Boreanaz

    If it weren’t for Zynga’s social virus game-like objects, I would place the “play two screens at once” games at the top of my most hated list.  NO thankye!

    • The_Misanthrope

       Yeah, it’s really not for me either, but to anyone willing to take the challenge, may I suggest an alternate soundtrack?

      508971=”Hungry Like the Wolf”

      • JudgeReinhold

        Yes! I’m terrible at this game, but this song makes my failures even more tolerable than the default song (given how awful I am, the default song just feels like mockery after a while). 

  • HobbesMkii

    Oh, man, I had Super Mario on my TI-84. 

  • caspiancomic

    Ha! Fall Down is the reason I very nearly failed grade 11 math! It is also, in retrospect, probably the reason I can no longer do any math more complicated than addition and subtraction.

    • Chum Joely

      You should check out Frog Fractions, it’s a really good game for learning math.

  • lokimotive

    Can we just go ahead and talk about the song some more? Because, seriously, that is the most wonderful thing in the world.

    Sadly, I cannot do it.

    • Captain Internet

      Not to take anything away from it, but I’m pretty sure it contains elements of ‘The Touch’ by Stan Bush.

      • lokimotive

        I’m not sure how that could possibly take anything away from it.

        • Captain Internet

          Fair point, but that does raise the question of whether it contains enough of The Touch by Stan Bush to be accurately called ‘The Most Inspirational Song Ever Written’?

      • CNightwing

        YOU CAN DO IT HOT ROD!

    • Chum Joely

      There’s no mountain you can’t climb. There’s no lyric that you can’t rhyme. You can DO it!

  • Mookalakai

    I totally rock at this game. But that’s only because I’m less of a man, and more of a GOD.

    • Xtracurlyfries

      No, that’s me you’re thinking of – you’re just jealous.

  • http://twitter.com/nolanlabs Nolan C

    This is the greatest game.