Out This Week

The Walking Dead: Survival Instinct

Lego My Chainsaw Gun

It’s only a matter of time before Gears Of War and The Walking Dead get the Lego treatment.

By Drew Toal • March 19, 2013

Out This Week is a roundup of new games that are out this week. These listings don’t constitute an endorsement or a review of any sort. We also don’t pretend that this is an exhaustive list. If there’s a game on the horizon that interests you, share it in the comments.

Lego City Undercover
Wii U—March 18

I feel like we might have to employ some version of China’s “one child” policy to Lego games. These things breed like rabbits, and I’ve lost track of which Legos go where. I’m going to give some odds on potential subjects and titles for the plastic brick treatment:

  • The Hunger Games (3-to-2)
  • Game Of Thrones (2-to-1)
  • The Incredible Burt Wonderstone (15-to-1)
  • Der Ring des Nibelungen (80-to-1)
  • The sequester (500-to-1)
  • Mega Bloks (1,000,000,000 to 1)
Gears Of War: Judgment
Xbox 360—March 19

The fourth Gears Of War game promises to be the most cerebral of the bunch, as the script is being undertaken by the author Tom Bissell and Rob Auten, a screenwriter. I’m all for judicious use of complete sentences and the steady deployment of metaphor, but I hope we don’t get to a place of long-winded digressions questioning the moral consequences of chainsaw gun enemas. That’s not a world I want to live in.

Hyperdimension Neptunia Victory
PlayStation 3—March 21

I’m going to go ahead and assume that this is a new Japanese robot-woman dating site, designed with assistance from Dr. Krieger.

The Walking Dead: Survival Instinct
PC, PlayStation 3, Wii U, Xbox 360—March 19

Telltale Games’ multi-act version of The Walking Dead is a tough act to follow, but if anyone can do it, it’s Daryl and Merle, the lovably racist hillbilly brothers from the hit AMC television adaptation. The Walking Dead: Survival Instinct follows the siblings as they tramp across the country, avoiding zombies and figuring out where exactly the undead fit into their hierarchy of ethnic distaste. The pair may just learn something about the healing power of acceptance. If they don’t get their brains eaten.

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68 Responses to “Lego My Chainsaw Gun”

  1. PugsMalone says:

    All the characters in Hyperdimension Neptunia are thinly veiled anthropomorphized versions of real game consoles as teenage girls. Japan loves that sort of thing.

    • Spacemonkey Mafia says:

      Throw in one of those Nazi Wulf plane cyborg girls and you have a veritable bento box of Japanese object fetishism. 

    • Aaron Riccio says:

      Considering that tentacles can show up both in a bento box and hentai cartoon, my stomach is now disturbed by your accurate rendition of Japanese fetishism in general.

    • His_Space_Holiness says:

      Good God, that trailer is a thing of pure madness. It’s like a tourism bureau advertisement for R’yleh. Every part of it makes a different kind of no sense.

      • Merve says:

        Seriously, dafuq did I just watch?

      • Electric Dragon says:

        Can you see that I am serious? Join me or die: can you do any less? I banish CPUs to the land of wind and ghosts!

      • Electric Dragon says:

        Tired of the same old sun, sea and sand? Hate schlepping round ancient cities? Why not try R’yleh this year! Our non-Euclidean architecture will drive you wild! Come stay with a family of many-angled horrors, and sample the many cyclopean delights! Squamous? Rugose? Why choose, when you can get both in R’yleh!

    • Fluka says:

      Wait, this that what they are??

      I also love the fact that it just outright promises “Tons and tons of MOE!”  Truth in advertising, my friends.

      • PugsMalone says:

        Notice that one of them has two directional pads in her hair (I think she’s supposed to be the NES)

        • George_Liquor says:

          My guess is she’s the Wii. There’s another character in that trailer with a red and white outfit who more closely resembles the original Famicom.

          I have just spent several minutes pondering which saucer-eyed hentai sex-kitten in that trailer more closely resembles an obsolete video game console. I uhhh… I think I need some time away from here.

    • Roswulf says:

      Thank you Pugs for explaining this, this is one of the most delightfully insane things I have ever read. I am genuinely disappointed that five minutes of Wikipedia research suggests that this game is more or less awful. Not that I would ever have actually played it (heck, I’ve never even owned a console), but I take so much whimsical joy in the very idea that there are talented people making things this odd.

      I mean, a character with amnesia representing the lost SEGA console? A villain based on a DS cartridge that aided piracy and thereby threatened “Gameindustri”? That’s spectacular.

      • HilariousNPC says:

        It is soooooo not spectacular. When you reduce the concept down to one-line jokes like that, it seems hilarious. Trying to have a drawn-out conversation that actually takes these things seriously is another. It somehow devolves into a neverending series of tit jokes.

        The gameplay is absolute crap, as one should expect, considering it’s made by Compile Heart, a subsidiary of Idea Factory.

        • Roswulf says:

          Oh, I have no doubt that the game is terrible I mean, you clearly actually know what you are talking about, but the video alone pretty clearly establishes awfulness all on its own. But that does not mean that a game based around this particular odd concept MUST be terrible. There is a theoretical game about anthropomorphized representatives of the console gaming industry that provided actual thematic  commentary on the commodification and corporatization of entertainment, art, and design while also being fun to play. Again, this is not that game. But ‘twould be a better world for me if such a game existed, even if I never played it, and a better world too than one with another reasonably well done game about space marines fighting alien zombies. Oddity has a value all its own.

    • Effigy_Power says:

      Weren’t there also some of those for the different Windows versions?

    • Andy Tuttle says:

      God knows the only thing I ever wanted was an Xbox with tits.

  2. PaganPoet says:

    To be fair, only Merle is racist. Daryl is just lovably gruff…and has nice shoulders. *blush*

    I was incredibly amused to find out Daryl’s actor, Norman Reedus, appeared in a Bjork music video in the early 90’s, eyeliner and all. D’awwwwww

    • Aaron Riccio says:

      Wasn’t he also in a Lady Gaga video fairly more recently?

      • PaganPoet says:

        So Lady Gaga did something that Bjork already did 15 years earlier and better? What a perfect metaphor for her career in general.

        • Aaron Riccio says:

          I mean, Bjork’s so weird that I’m not sure she hasn’t already done everything and I just didn’t get it. (Don’t get me wrong, I love her.)

  3. Aaron Riccio says:

    I mean, The Walking Lego Dead would be hysterical. I’m too lazy to check, but has anybody made a faux trailer for that on YouTube yet?

  4. His_Space_Holiness says:

    I would play the hell out of a Lego Ring Cycle, but people would probably complain that it was too similar to Lego Lord of the Rings.

    • Spacemonkey Mafia says:

      Lego Nibelungen would have the proto-German Nationalist and anti-mini-fig miscegenation (switching out hands, torsos, etc.) sensibilities sorely lacking in Lego Lord of the Rings.

      • PaganPoet says:

        Is it me, or doesn’t it seem like we talk about Wagner a lot here on GS?

        I mean, it certainly comes up far more often than it does in real life outside of a music history class.

        • Spacemonkey Mafia says:

          He was one of the 19th century’s most enduring creators of popular opera, codified a lot of the mythology and fantasy tropes that are still present in our video games, bears the self-serious Teutonic bombast that’s always fun to poke fun at and he was successfully assimilated into one of the best Looney Tunes cartoons of all time.
             Frankly, I’m surprised we don’t talk about him more.

        • Roswulf says:

           @Spacemonkey_Mafia:disqus Plus, his philosophy of Gesamtkunstwerk has had such an enormous influence on the generally coherent and thematically unified art and art standards of the last 150 years. When we (meaning, of course, I) whine about the ending of Mass Effect 3, aren’t we really just criticizing it for failing to live up to Wagner’s theories treated as objective standards?

          So I guess what I’m saying is, KILL THE WABBIT! KILL THE WABBIT!

        • Aaron Riccio says:

          What We Talk About When We Talk About Wagner

        • Andy Tuttle says:

          I used to work at a movie theatre and we showed the MET’s version of The Ring Cycle. Every Wednesday night for three weeks our theatre was full of old people and vaguely homeless looking guys. That house would smell like Polygrip and dirt for hours afterwards.

    • PaganPoet says:

      Pearls before swine.

      (truth be told, I’ve actually only seen Siegfried and good lord was I bored; that’s just too much opera to take in in one sitting)

    • Merve says:

      Lego Sequester would be really frustrating. You wouldn’t be able to find the blocks to build a budget that everyone could agree on.

  5. Fluka says:

    Wait, I thought Noun of Noun: Abstract Concept, the prequelized fourth installment of a hit, violent videogame trilogy, came out last week?

    • PaganPoet says:

      That works with my two favorite Kate Bush albums.

      Hounds of Love: The Dreaming

    • Merve says:

      Bushel of Potatoes: Agriculture
      Heart of Glass: Songcraft
      Bottle of Water: Thirst
      Teller of Truths: Revelation
      God of Love: Fornication
      Guns of Guns: Guns
      Board of Directors: Commerce
      Can of Beans: Cuisine
      Box of Crayons: Childhood
      Title of Game: Nomenclature

      • PaganPoet says:

        Bait of Soupy: Shamelessness

      • George_Liquor says:

        Blank of Blank: Mad Libs

      • In the true spirit of a CPU, you finished that beautifully with special Skills.

        List of Jokes: Gameological

      • Citric says:

        Revengers of Vengeance: Revengeance

        Now to just base it on things I see on my desk:
        Berries of Red: Delicious

        Lotion of Moisturizing: Suppleness

        Punches of Hawaii: Liquids

        Watches of Caravelle: Timekeeping
        Tires of Canada: Maintenance

        Blood of Valentines: Loveless

        Surprises of Kinder: Amusement

        Beverages of Orange: Tastiness

        Tissues of faces: Diseases

        Van of Burning: Combustion

  6. Spacemonkey Mafia says:

    In more general gaming news, SuperGiantGames just released the trailer for their next game, Transistor.

       Jen Zee is again handling all the art direction and it looks just gorgeous.  Pretty much a sci-fi tinged Bastion with a female protagonist, which is more than sufficient to have me excited.

      @caspiancomic:disqus, I’m sure this trailer was beamed directly into your brain the second it released, but if you somehow have not yet seen it, I think you’ll be quite pleased.

    • Fluka says:

      This gets a general comment of “Aw hell yeah!” from me!

    • Cloks says:

      That is just about all kinds of a beautiful looking trailer. It feels a little weird to see things being released in 2014 though, I’m still not even sure we’ve left 2012.

      Speaking of future games, the people behind FroSnaps are releasing Frozen Endzone, the first sports game that I’ll look forward to playing. Instead of shooting people, you get to make them run into each other while moving a ball across a sports field.

    • caspiancomic says:

       Hahaha, oh man, I was coming to this topic specifically to post this trailer. Look at Quickdraw Mafia over here.

      But yes, I am now imagining what kind of wedding Transistor and I are going to have, and what our children will look like.

    • Dat art style, dat music, dat isometric top-down hack-n-slash gameplay…

      Oh my, do I have the vapors…

    • Destroy Him My Robots says:

      I hope it’s not rude to piggyback on this to drop a link to Shovel Knight from some ex-WayForward guys. Seems to take cues from the NES/GameBoy DuckTales games. Yep.

      • Spacemonkey Mafia says:

        Say, that looks pretty damn great.  Nice character design in the 8-bit mold.  On a related note, I’ve got the itch to play some Duck Tales real bad.

  7. I just want to say that I hate Gears of War Judgement for existing.  And I hate myself because I know I’ll probably end up playing it anyway.


    • Spacemonkey Mafia says:

      There’s a bundle with Civ5 on Green MAn Gaming available that I’m eyeing.
         I’ve never played any of the Civ series, or really any turn-based strategy games for that matter.  Am I foolish thinking this is where I should start?

      • Civ5 is a great game, it’s very approachable and the most streamlined of all the Civs.  It’s a really great place to start with the series, but be prepared, because these games can get addictive.  I’ve had entire Sundays melt away while I build my empire across Eurasia, through diplomacy and forced conversions.

        • I’m glad to see some like/love for Civ5 here, I’ve been playing them all since the first one, but when I read the Civfanatics forums I see nothing but endless complaints.
          Barring some bugginess/balance problems in the early going, I think it’s perhaps the best one yet, and certainly the best integrated expansion.
          The only caveat to the emptor is if you don’t have a powerful PC it can get a little choppy.  The graphics are not terribly intensive but the CPU demands are through the roof.

        • Boko_Fittleworth says:

          Thoughts on the DLC and expansions that are out there? Any worth actually acquiring?

        • HilariousNPC says:

          @Boko_Fittleworth:disqus The Gods & Kings expansion is the only one worth getting. You can easily live without the other race expansion pack, unless you need a larger variety of cultures to hate.

      • Merve says:

        That’s the bundle I got, @Spacemonkey_Mafia:disqus. It also came with $15 GMG credit, so I was able to nab The Cave too.

    • Roswulf says:

      Consarn it, I really did not want know that. Intellectually, I know that I can happily wait for a really good Steam Sale to pick both those games up. I don’t want to pay $30 for a game. Heck I’ve got the original X-Com and Bioshock 2 sitting in my Steam Library, unplayed and lonely. But the siren’s call of “TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE” where both are reasonably appealing is so painfully strong. I am such an easy mark…

  8. Due to the same (or similar) production issues that let Fire Emblem Awakening move 63K download copies (of which mine is one), Lego City won’t actually arrive in stores until the 20th or 21st depending on where you live. Which was awkward to learn when I went to pick it up last night. :P

    You can download it… but from what I hear you shouldn’t attempt this unless your Wii U has an external hard drive. And you have about 5 or 6 hours to let that beast move through your tubes.

    Me? I’m waiting for Thursday. And while I’m there will probably pick up Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate too.

  9. ghettojourno says:

    Bought Need for Speed: Most Wanted U today. This is the first NFS for me.