Out This Week

Star Trek: The Video Game

Out On A Limb

This week, Dead Island: Riptide follows up on the crass promise of its collectible bloody torso.

By Drew Toal • April 23, 2013

Out This Week is a roundup of new games that are out this week. These listings don’t constitute an endorsement or a review of any sort. We also don’t pretend that this is an exhaustive list. If there’s a game on the horizon that interests you, share it in the comments.

StarDrive
PC—April 26

In the Star Trek universe, the United Federation Of Planets adheres to a thing called the Prime Directive, which discourages interference in an alien species’ development. Unfortunately, this mandate conflicts with my Second Galactic Amendment right to keep and bear arms in case I have to wipe out an entire extraterrestrial civilization. First these Federation types would seek to limit access to quad-cannon riot lasers, and then, next thing you know, they’re flying in and taking away non-lethal phasers. In StarDrive, I will build my vast armada to throw off the diffuse, impotent yoke of those well-meaning intergalactic bodies that would take away my freedom to enslave and destroy.

Monaco: What’s Yours Is Mine
Mac, PC, Xbox 360—April 24

In Monaco, you assemble an elite burgling unit for a job, not unlike Ocean’s 11. You know, something has always bugged me about those movies. To become these flawless kings of burglary, most of these guys—Clooney, Pitt, Damon, etc.—must have done some time at some point in their professional development. I mean, you don’t just come out of the womb as an artful pickpocket or a peerless jewel thief. Early on, some of them must have been caught by the law. And I just don’t see lookers like Pitt and Clooney lasting long in prison. Maybe they’re just that charming?

Dead Island: Riptide
PC, PlayStation 3, Xbox 360—April 23

On the occasion of this zombie-vacation sequel’s release, let us take a moment to look back on one of the more memorably wrong-headed marketing campaigns in recent memory. But remember, setting the bar low means never having to disappoint.

Star Trek: The Video Game
PC, PlayStation 3, Xbox 360—April 23

I’ve heard that J.J. Abrams had a hand in every facet of this game’s development and will soon be tabbed to helm a few more video game projects including: Mass Effect 4: The Salarian Imperative, BioShock: Reinfinite, Star Wars: Knights Of The Old Republic Unleashed, The Legend Of Zelda: A Link To The Future, StarCraft 3: Mists Of Zergaria, Uncharted 4: Drake’s Ascension, Dead Space 4: Dead Reckoning, and Super Mario Galaxy 3.

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53 Responses to “Out On A Limb”

  1. George_Liquor says:

    BLAMMO! SHABLAMS!

    This comment punched up by JJ Abrams.

  2. DrFlimFlam says:

    I approve of all of these Abrams sequels.

  3. Spacemonkey Mafia says:

    Speaking of Dead Island: Riptide!

    http://kotaku.com/dead-island-special-edition-includes-the-headless-bikin-477914929

       Reposted_Kotaku_Comments, I don’t think I need to tell you what to do.

    • From that article, from one of the comments:

      “I don’t understand this logic. It’s barely
      sexualised, and I daresay only a minority of individuals will find this
      in the least bit erotic or arousing. And if they did they probably
      aren’t purchasing this, but rather being disgusting individuals.

      By the logic presented here any artwork that ever shows violence
      towards a naked woman should be banned. And yes, there are incredibly
      famous pieces of artwork that show sexualised women suffering violence-
      in far worse ways than this.

      They’re regarded as art, but people want this banned?

      Better yet- you’re American. This was only ever on sale in Australia
      and Europe. How about you chaps mind your own business? It won’t affect
      you. Go away.”

      I’m assuming this guy’s European, which does have looser views on sexuality, but to say this piece is “barely sexualised” is out wildly disingenuous. They’re fucking boobs on a bloody torso. Sexualized doesn’t mean you HAVE to get off on it.

      I could get into a whole thing about the rest of what he says (including how artwork tends to have some aesthetic context, and no one is fucking talking about banning shit), but I just can’t.

      • Hermetic_Zeal says:

        Yeah, a lot of problems here.  To say that something shouldn’t offend you just because it doesn’t affect you directly is a dangerous idea.  Imagine applying that to essentially any other offensive content.  

        The statuette was purposefully sexualized.  It was meant to cause a reaction, and it did.  It warranted a retraction of some kind.

        Also, I’d like to see a list of “incredibly famous pieces of artwork that show sexualized women suffering violence in far worse ways than this.”  Not for personal reasons, mind you. Ahem.

        (Sorry if this posts twice.  Connection issues)

      • Fyodor Douchetoevsky says:

        A few things on this gem of a comment:

        I love it when people-on-the-internet talk about LOGIC. It’s often used in a context like “men are LOGICAL while women are EMOTIONAL” (also substitute men for ‘gamers’ and women for ‘feminists’ etc etc) and it is huge huge bullshit. People have emotions. Robots don’t. People aren’t robots. You don’t want to be a robot.

        I’m totally playing armchair psychologist with this point but I think a lot of “gamers” who post stuff online and are really into games aren’t into any other pieces of pop culture like movies or literature or art. So they have no context for anything outside of videogames. Which is why you see people defending games awful habits. (this point is total speculation and probably bullshit, but it was a though)

        People who say ” you shouldn’t have been offended” or “oh, you were offended by that? Do you think you deserve a prize now?” or something along those lines are so obviously sociopaths. (armchair psychology bullshit again)

        That’s all I’ve got right now. Also, when people pull out a stand up comic’s joke to defend their opinion, you know it’s not worth it. Not that this guy did that in this post, but it happens a TON with shit like this, especially over on coughredditcough.

        • Hermetic_Zeal says:

          A large part of this derives purely from the anonymity of the internet.  It’s easy to generalize, and it’s even easier to shout opinions from the rafters when no one can see your face.  

          I wonder, too, if this guy even believes his own bullshit.  It’s a rare occasion when large breasts in a small bikini are non-sexual, regardless of the context.  

        • Professor_Cuntburglar says:

           I have a theory that at least 75% of Internet commenters are robots, because apparently you can’t diagnose people with some form of Autism based on their comments even though everyone’s thinking it.

      • Captain Internet says:

        “I’m assuming this guy’s European, which does have looser views on sexuality”

        I’d just like to point out that these “looser views” us Europeans have do not include being OK with plastic models of dismembered torsos.

        Anyway, your man there doesn’t have a particularly convincing argument. 

        1. All art is respectable.
        2. Some art is disgusting
        3. Therefore, disgusting things are respectable

        There’s this idea that calling something ‘art’ gives it special protection from criticism. It doesn’t. Why else would we have art critics? Labelling something witless and crass as art doesn’t stop it being witless and crass.

    • Aurora Boreanaz says:

      Your avatar changed from a friendly duck to…one of those shadow ghosts from the Doctor Who episode with the galactic library?

    • stakkalee says:

      God that whole thread is depressing as fuck.  If I didn’t like some of Kotaku’s writers so much I’d suggest letting the whole site sink into the ocean.

  4. Monaco is on my radar, but I’m backed up right now with indie games I own and have been meaning to play.

    It also looks like it’s one of those awesome indie games that’s trying to bring back couch co-op that only go to remind me that everyone I play video games with now is totally not interested in couch co-op.  Maybe I’ll find a way to trick my wife into playing it by saying their’s Dance Moms messages hidden within the game…

    • The_Helmaroc_King says:

      I don’t get to play as much local co-op as I’d like, unfortunately. Two games I spent significant time playing local co-op were ‘Splosion Man and Ms. ‘Splosion Man. Each one had as many unique co-op levels as single player levels and I had a lot of fun, even if I had to wait a while between play sessions. I don’t think the coordination required would’ve worked well with a stranger, especially since I don’t like talking to strangers over Xbox Live.

      The Halo series is also a good one for local co-op; I only played through the Anniversary remake like that, but I had a couple of friends who were working on playing through the majority of the series that way. I think they were going to do the same for Gears of War as well.

      • DrFlimFlam says:

        The best reason to have a child is to have a local co-op partner. Kids will play anything if you’ll play with them. While not strictly local co-op, I even had FlimFlam, Jr. drive the Mako around some godforsaken rock hunting for rare elements and crashed satellites until he realized he was being had (no “whitewashing the fence is fun!” for him) and asked to play Smash Bros. again.

        • aklab says:

          This is indeed the best reason to have a child. There were quite a few levels in Super Mario Galaxy 1 & 2 that I was only able to beat with some Aklab Jr. assistance. 

    • Destroy Him My Robots says:

      I was really hyped for Monaco two years ago or so, but the more I’ve seen of it, the less I care. I just want They Stole a Million HD. Part of the problem, I know.

    • I ‘liked’ Monaco on Facebook what feels like 2-3 years ago and my interest has completely waned…  I might’ve been persuaded to impulse-buy it if I didn’t just learn Fez is coming to Steam next week!  I cannot wait to play Fez, I might just buy a little notebook to do my puzzle solving in!

    • I grew up with a brother who is only 15 months younger than me. Co-op was a necessity rather than a choice, but don’t I miss it. 

  5. Electric Dragon says:

    PRESS TRIANGLE TO ACTIVATE LENS FLARE

    • DrFlimFlam says:

      I thought it was like Kirby Air Ride, where you press triangle to DEactivate lens flare. And have to hold it down to keep things that way.

    • Bad Horse says:

      Judging by the screenshot on the front, the player must have pressed triangle 10 times.

  6. Uncle Roundy says:

    I’ll stick with 25th Anniversary and Judgment Rites, thanks.

    • Aurora Boreanaz says:

      That final starship battle in 25th Anniversary – Holy Crap, way to up the difficulty, you jerks!?

      • EmperorNortonI says:

        Ah, 25th Anniversary.  Speaking of the starship battles, I played those enough that I actually beat the silly Red Baron in Space enemy who was supposed to be unbeatable.  Sadly, NOTHING changed as a result.  Sad.

    • EmperorNortonI says:

      Wow, that game looks pretty dire.

  7. Mercenary_Security_number_4 says:

    I’m such a slut.  Star Trek is hardly what it used to be, but I still get excited every time I see a constitution class starship.

    Tangent: the downfall of Trek is NOT Abrams fault.  The last trek movie to really be about alien species coming together and able to work out their differences was Star Trek Six.  And I know this is blasphemy, but the seeds for Trek’s downfall were laid in “The Wrath of Kahn.”  Why?  Because it told movie makers that a trek movie was about the captain defeating a villain in space, not about finding new understanding.  In “Space Seed” and even in the ultimate “Kirk vs. alien” episode “Arena,” Kirk (mistakenly thought of as being a cowboy in modern opinion of the show) never lost sight of the possibility for reconciliation with his enemy.  But then TMP was disappointing and TWOK was cool, so more and more the movies after that took the vengeance-lust of movie-Kahn while leaving out the nuances.  So we get Christopher Lloyd’s fun but cartoonish Klingon in ST3, Malcom Dowell’s nonsensical obsession in GEN, angsty aliens in INS, angsty clone in NEM, and JJ Abrams’ paint-by-the-numbers revenge villain. 

    You know what would make a good Star Trek movie?  “Balance of Terror.”  The Romulans in that were fleshed out beautifully and the story is full of tension and realistic motives on both sides. 

    So go poo-poo Abrams all you want.  He certainly deserves it for not righting the ship.  But he didn’t breach the hull.  That was a crack that grew slowly over a time from over-copying of what by itself was a great single Trek story that should have never been made into a template.

    • See now, THIS.  I love this.  I could READ intelligent criticisms about Star Trek all day but find the shows and movies un-watchable. I read Michael Piller’s Fade In and I couldn’t put it down (insofar as you can put down a pdf), but I couldn’t sit through 5 minutes of Insurrection.
      @Mercenary_Security_number_4:disqus , if you should start a column with well-formed, intelligent Star Trek criticism, lemme know, I’d subscribe.

    • Cornell_University says:

      I would happily live in a world where they just travel back in time to save a different species of whale every couple years.

      not kidding, by the way.

    • Professor_Cuntburglar says:

       That was equal parts nerdy and awesome.

    • Roswulf says:

      Could this not simply be expressed as Star Trek works better as TV rather than as movie? “[A]lien species coming together…to work out their differences” works best either in an extended and very detailed serialized narrative (see DS9) or in 40 minute chunks  (See Original Series). A Star Trek movie demands something both BIGGER than a standalone episode and LESS COMPLICATED than a serialized narrative that develops over dozens of episodes. This almost inevitably leads to Trek as action movie. Which can be entertaining, but scratches a different itch than the series.

    • John Robey says:

      This is a brilliant insight. Well said!

  8. Professor_Cuntburglar says:

    That Star Trek game looks like they just took the most boring parts of Mass Effect (the shooty bits) and made an entire game around them.

    Also those lizard aliens look like they belong in a late 90s Bungie game.

  9. Eco1970 says:

    I miss the days of the internet when you could read articles with more than 20 words in them. Nowadays it’s all embedded video clips.

    • Colliewest says:

      Out This Week is a roundup of new releases that are out this week, it’s not meant to be in depth. Sawbuck gamer and Game that tune are pretty short too. I think pretty much everything else on this site i.e. the majority of articles are 4-500 words or more.