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Robot Unicorn Attack 2

My Brittle Pony

Adult Swim’s manic equine is back for more with Robot Unicorn Attack 2.

By Derrick Sanskrit • April 29, 2013

The original Robot Unicorn Attack was a bit of a sensation when it was released on Adult Swim’s website three years ago. The game—a typical “keep running forever until you crash” affair—found an enthusiastic audience for its bubblegum visuals and dark wit. And let’s not forget the retro-cheese brilliance of Erasure’s 1994 pop hit “Always,” which served as Attack’s soundtrack. Now, after three minor retouches in as many years, a proper sequel is upon us. Robot Unicorn Attack 2 abandons the glossy sweetness of the original, instead wrapping itself in an aesthetic akin to Lisa Frank—if Lisa Frank grew up reading Heavy Metal magazine. Floating islands with infinite waterfalls litter the background while celestial whales and families of steampunk seahorses swim by with impossible gusto.

The key difference in Attack 2, though, is personality. You are your own unique robot unicorn, not quite like anybody else’s. You can outfit your steed with a shiny new chasis, a glowing red horn, and a mane made of lighting, each with their own perks on how your steed plays. Did I mention wings? Oh yeah, you can fly now, which I suppose makes you a robot unicorn pegasus or something. Beyond the details of your superficial makeover, you must choose your alignment in the great pony war, as there are two rival factions of robot unicorns: Inferno and Rainbow. A healthy bounty of unicorn tears are gifted upon the highest scoring team every 24 hours, and as countless fantasy books have taught us, unicorn tears are extraordinarily valuable for their remarkable healing properties. So yeah, you probably want them.

Alas, one thing unicorn tears can’t cure is the heartbreak of discovering that “Always” is only available as an in-app purchase. Remember, though, that the device in your hand evolved from the world’s most popular MP3 player. There’s nothing to keep you from playing whatever ridiculous song you want in the background, because you’re beautiful and special in your own unique way, you magnificent stallion, you.

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9 Responses to “My Brittle Pony”

  1. All my research told me pegacorn was just a slang term and that the commonly accepted name is “winged unicorn” which just feels outrageously lazy and borderline racist.

  2. And you have to buy it too, because what’s the point of playing RUA without “Always” in the background?

  3. ChicaneryTheYounger says:

    Why is there no browser version? This is a crime against nature.

  4. WaxTom says:

     Try Alicorn.

  5. I assumed the Erasure lyric would indicate that my comment was tongue-in-cheek. 

  6. Brainstrain says:

    So what is the monetization angle? I don’t get it. Are that many people going to buy a song?

    • There are currently five songs available for purchase, plus you can buy more unicorn tears (which you use to purchase your upgrades and perks and such). Also there are ads. And that Adult Swim logo at the beginning is a subtle reminder that you are, in some small way, supporting Time Warner.

  7. DrFlimFlam says:

    It’s not the same without Always. Always play whilst listening to Always.

    Or “Daybreak.”

    • dreadguacamole says:

       I never have problems with not listening to Always.

       Then again, I’m the guy who plays Dark Souls with Cloud Cult as a soundtrack, so you probably don’t want to pay much attention to my gaming listening habits.