Star Trek: The Video Game

We’re giving away five copies of Star Trek: The Video Game

It’s a video game about Star Trek!

By The Gameological Society Staff • April 24, 2013

The Gameological Society and The A.V. Club are giving away five copies of the new Star Trek video game, which is called Star Trek: The Video Game. We haven’t had a chance to play the game yet, so we don’t know what happens in it, but judging by that screenshot above, somebody gives Captain Kirk the business. You’ll probably want to see what that’s all about. All five copies are for the Xbox 360—sorry, PS3 owners. For a chance to win, you’ve got until Tuesday, April 30 at noon Eastern time to email the Onion prize overlords with your mailing address. Employees of Onion Inc. and their families are not eligible, and this contest is open to U.S. residents only, because Star Trek is nothing if not provincial.

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73 Responses to “We’re giving away five copies of Star Trek: The Video Game

  1. SamPlays says:

    I’m a shoe-in for this contest. I’ll set my phasers to “won”.

  2. OhHaiMark says:

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    From farrrrrrr and wide,
    Oh Canada, we stand on guard for thee!
    God, Keep our land glorious and free!
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    Oh Canadaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
    We stand on guard for theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!


  3. Uncle Roundy says:

    Really? That’s the best you could do? When “Set Phasers to Fun” is right under your nose?

    Between this and the custom Mario level with two Angry Suns I watched today that somehow wasn’t called “Suns of Anarchy”, this is not a good day for capitalizing on pun opportunities.

  4. neodocT says:

    I don’t need your stupid US-Residents-only-Star Trek: The Video Game. I’ll make my own Star Trek: The Video Game, with blackjack, and green hookers! 

  5. Merve says:

    What platform are these copies for? 360? PS3? Or are they digital download codes?

  6. Xtracurlyfries says:

    I hate to be a negative nelly ‘n’ all, but should that be Tuesday April 30 instead?

    • His_Space_Holiness says:

      Well, the new Star Trek is set in an alternate timeline and all, so who knows what kind of crazy moon calendar they have?

      • Mercenary_Security_number_4 says:

         I like to think the prequel series “Enterprise” is in the movie universe created by the changes in the timeline.  Which doesn’t make sense according to traditional theories (since it takes place before the point in history that gets changed), but is actually perfectly in line with emerging concepts of temporal mechanics which suggest that quantum events can have effects that ripple through time in multiple directions.

        wow, I’m really going for my geek merit badge this week, aren’t I?

        • Aurora Boreanaz says:

          I tried SO HARD to like Enterprise, but gave up completely on it when they had the “Hoshi is stuck in the transporter buffer and nothing important or interesting happens for an hour” episode.

        • George_Liquor says:

          They got worse. Remember the “Archer’s fucking beagle is stuck in Sick Bay and nothing happens for an hour” episode?

        • Fluka says:

          @AuroraBoreanaz:disqus Someone on the AV Club pointed out the delightfully obtuse Netflix Instant description for that particular episode:”Hoshi is transported up from the surface and then something strange happens.”

        • Mercenary_Security_number_4 says:

          @George_Liquor:disqus @AuroraBoreanaz:disqus Remember the “Xindi attack Earth and nothing happens for a year” season?

        • Aurora Boreanaz says:

          @George_Liquor:disqus  – Oh dear lord, yes.  Except, it’s more like “Archer’s fucking Precious Moments beagle statue is stuck in Sick Bay and he screams at everyone for an hour when it was his own fucking fault for taking the fucking beagle down to the planet in the first place”.

    • Electric Dragon says:

       Wait till the next day: European π day. 31st April.

  7. Kilzor says:

    Ah yes, the good ole’ “Something just eviscerated my upper abdomen” glower that I’ve given many a time during the captaining days of my youth.

  8. Chalkdust says:

    Digital Extremes has a healthy catalog of not-half-bad action games, so here’s hoping this one too is not-half-bad!  Man, you ever play Epic Pinball or Solar Winds?  Those were some legit nuggets of early-90’s shareware gold.

  9. ChicaneryTheYounger says:

    “No, thank you.” – Worf, I think

  10. Mercenary_Security_number_4 says:

    Kirk is still wearing way too much of his shirt for me to take this game seriously.

    • Effigy_Power says:

      The tutorial is all about shirt ripping. Better with Kinect.

      • Mercenary_Security_number_4 says:

        In another less Puritan universe, Kinect was the doorway through which creepy Jpanese dating sims finally made their way to mainstream America.

        Thank God for the puritans, for the only time ever . . .

        • EmperorNortonI says:

          Nah, making those dating systems Kinetic-compatible would have required an exponential increase in their production value. After all, you need some actual gameplay before a controller of any sort becomes necessary.

  11. uselessyss says:

    There are no reviews out yet because I guess the publisher didn’t send any review copies out ahead of time.

    That’s a good sign, right?

    • The_Misanthrope says:

       To be honest, I’m not sure there’s ever been a truly good game based on Star Trek.  Adequate, maybe, but never quite good.  It seems like a perfect property to design a game around.  Think of how much fun it would be to have an open universe RPG or a procedurally-generated rogue-like or even a strategy game based on the Star Trek license.  An MMO might work, but a game crowded with Kirk-size egos would just get chaotic.

      • Effigy_Power says:

        Either I am misreading you or you have not yet seen the Star Trek MMO, which is also awful.

      • Chalkdust says:

        What about the old graphic adventure?  I have vague memories of that being pretty well-done.

      • EmperorNortonI says:

        I must disagree. 25th Anniversary and Judgement Rites were a ton of fun, some of the only adventure games that I was actually good at and finished. Star Fleet Battles was a pioneer in tabletop miniatures gaming, and inspired the decent Starfleet Battles games. I played a couple Star Trek text adventures in the 80’s which were okay. The FPS based on Star Trek Voyager was pretty good. Klingon Academy was a ton of fun, and one of the last good space simulators.

        Still, a Star Trek RPG, focused on dialog and cooperation, would be truly awesome. A Star Trek roguelike, where you play the Enterprise on it’s 5 year mission of exploration would also be incredibly awesome.

  12. Spacemonkey Mafia says:

    Is there still going to be a contest to set crow hand to win a Vigor bottle?

    …I’m asking for a friend.
       …Who’s also me.
          …Because quantum.

  13. Eco1970 says:

    I’m going to enter, and if I win, I’ll burn my prize. XBox I am not a fan of (edited my rather more crazy vitriolic post lol)

  14. George_Liquor says:

     Help me, Spock, win this fabulous prize.

  15. Aurora Boreanaz says:

    Dammit, Jim!  I’m a reviewer…and also a free game giver-awayer!