On Monday, we asked you to pitch questions for The Gameological Questionnaire—a list of questions we’ll pose to developers on the E3 show floor next week. You came through, and we’ve made our selections. There were a lot of excellent questions, and it was tough to narrow down the list. Some of my favorite questions ultimately had to be cut because they might not apply to every developer, or because they were too complex for the rapid-fire style. So if you weren’t chosen, don’t take it personally. You can still consider yourself an incisive, inquisitive genius. Here are our picks. The questions have been lightly edited for clarity and concision.
AngryRaisins asks, “If your game had a super-deluxe version that cost $1,000, what would be in the box?”
Citric asks, “Sony and Microsoft have new consoles coming soon. What exciting new things can you do on those machines, in terms of game design, that you couldn’t do before?”
Ted Kindig asks, “If an alien species discovered your game as the only remnant of human civilization, what would they learn about us?”
Flyonysus asks, “What wine pairs best with your game?”
Merve asks, “What’s the weirdest idea that came up during production but didn’t ultimately make it into the game?”
All of these commenters will receive a Gameological pin, and the randomly selected winner of the BioShock Infinite “Murder Of Crows” vigor is AngryRaisins! Congratulations to all. Please email me, john [at-symbol] gameological [dot] com, with your mailing address so that we can send you your prizes.
Appropriately, I feel that if there were a $1000 edition of Bioshock Infinite, it would include a set of Vigor bottles.
and a personal slave!
And $1000 in silver dollars.
Congrats to the weiners. *rah rah rah* I still want to buy a GS pin.
I’d buy that for a dollar!
Or possibly five or six. You know, to account for shipping.
Second. My lapels are crying out for Gameological merch.
Damn. Without an official vigor prop, I guess I’ll have to settle for the half-empty bottle of Limoncello in a novelty Leaning Tower of Pisa bottle we took from my grandma’s home after she passed.
Drinking it gives me the power to really enjoy the first half of Strictly Ballroom, then getting ill and having to go to bed.
Congratulations to the erudite winners.
I have a bottle of Diet Dr Pepper in my car that’s been there for a week and the sun is hitting it pretty well. I can’t promise super-powers, but it might replicate a Vigor’s side effects.
Rampant gas and indigestion?
Any kind of blowback really.
It’s hilariously fitting that @Flyonysus:disqus would ask about wine.
Where’s Hedonism Bot when you need it?
I kinda wish you sent out the Charge Vigor, because, like everyone else who played Bioshock Infinite, it would quietly sit somewhere, untouched and utterly ignored.
I used the Charge Vigor a lot, actually. But that’s because I like to play video games as a suicidal madman.
Was the flamey bottle with the hot devil girl too much to ask, Gameological? I really would have loved to not be able to win that one… ^,..,^
I actually used the charge vigor more than just about any other. Paired with a shotgun and those pants that make enemies take increased damage after being struck with the skyhook (an impressive benefit I never noticed before while wearing pants) it was off the hook!
The hook!
The SKYhook!
Get it? Guys?
…I’m sorry.
Oh no! You’ve crushed my mildest dreams!
Can I at least get a decoder ring?
“Be sure to drink your Ovaltine? …Son of a bitch!”
As one of the reporters having to ask these above questions to developers, I just want to thank you all for not making me inquire about porn, polygons or Pokemon-all things I’d be mildly uncomfortable with.
i was so close to putting forward a pokemon question. missed opportunities all around.
“If you had to make a fully 3D sex scene between Pokemon, which ones would you choose? Pick as many as you like.”
Bonus points if it includes Porygon, the polygonal Pokemon.
Glad that Disqus intervened to close your tag there.
Next year, Smith… that “My Little Pony BDSM Basement Sim” is just waiting for a publisher.
You could always go for the classic, “When is the next iteration of Gundam coming out? Why hasn’t this version of Gundam come out?” Now THAT’S something that’ll piss off anyone who has been asked that question a million times. Everyone else will just be like, “The fuck? Why are you asking me about Youtube parodies of some Korean song?”
Hey Raisins, once you get that vigor, can I hire you to… take care of some people for me?
It would definitely be useful for a remake of Birdemic.
Birdemic 2: Post Apocrowlypse
The second question is the one I’m most interested in. Are we going to be exploring game spaces in new ways, or just exploring prettier game spaces in the same old ways?
I agree, but it’s also a question that I could see a developer not really understanding or answering. You ask about game design and they say, “Look how lifelike this dog is!”
Y’know, this makes me think that whatever the shortcomings with Nintendo hardware may be (and whatever limitations their first-party focused development strategy has), that kind of response would be unfathomable from someone like Miyamoto or one of the other main Nintendo developers. Obviously indie developers wouldn’t say it either, but they’re not riding the difference between art and commerce the way an industry giant like Nintendo is.
Hooray I contributed something to something.
(Zoidberg voice) I’m useful!
Hey, who on the staff is going to E3 this year? Anyone going for the first time?
Matt Gerardi, Ryan Smith, and Anthony John Agnello will be at the show. It’s Matt’s first time at E3.
I hope they’re gentle. (They’re not!)
So Joystick Master Pete Strackmeyer is a no-show this year? Darn, I was really looking forward to his thoughts on the upcoming line of fully-transistorized videographical mirth-enhancement stations.
That does seem like a wasted opportunity. I would have had a ton of new appreciation for the cut of Teti’s jib if he would have done a Strackmeier in the middle of E3.
@Effigy_Power:disqus I know, right? If anyone’s got the chops to deliver us a fantastic E3, it’s John & Pete.
“Your Joystick Master is here live at the Umpteenth Annual E-E-E expo, and we in the gaming ‘biz’ as the kids call it, are eagerly awaiting the imminent reveal of Sony’s new Piss-4 Computer Brain!”
I think this is my 5th E3 in the last 8 years, which makes me feel like the Tim Duncan of video game journalists.
Too bad you can’t mathematically become the “Seven of Nine of video game journalists”… The nerd-o-sphere would have been abuzz with joy. :)
Depends on how good he looks in a unitard really.
Aw, I already had plans to take the vigor and my camera to a nearby park and terrorize some crows…
Awww shucks.