Sawbuck Gamer

Grand Banda

Breaking And Entering

Grand Banda is more proof that a determined granny can infiltrate anything.

By Matt Gerardi • June 27, 2013

Sawbuck Gamer is our daily review of a free or cheap game ($10 or less).

In July 2012, three senior citizens (okay, one guy was 57—close enough) broke into the Y-12 National Security Complex in Tennessee, a vast uranium enrichment and storage facility that is commonly described as the “Fort Knox of uranium.” The anti-nuke protestors reached the complex’s most secure area, a warehouse storing weapons-grade uranium, where they splashed around the blood of a dead activist and spray-painted antiwar slogans before they were caught by a lone guard. The star of this alarming, if somewhat whimsical, example of shoddy post-9/11 American security became, for obvious reasons, an 82-year-old nun named Megan Rice.

Grand Banda is practically a Saturday morning cartoon take on that story. Two grannies are listening to jazz music in their apartment when their only light bulb blows out. Instead of going to the store to grab another, they decide to break into some sort of nuclear facility and steal some incandescent toxic waste to light their pad. Along the way, you’ll nab lots of items and combine them to solve puzzles and help the ladies make their grand entrance.

There are some glaring problems with this point-and-click adventure, the worst being a complete lack of direction in the first long puzzle. At that point, it isn’t even clear that you’re trying to break into a nuclear facility, so it’s tough to sort out which items you need and what to do with them. It’s worth sticking around until the second level, though, if only to hear the soundtrack: a bizarre cover of “Octopus’ Garden” sung by a drunk Louis Armstrong with kazoo accompaniment. Its goofy energy exemplifies the charm of this otherwise lackluster game. If anything, Grand Banda serves as more proof that grannies pose the greatest threat to national security.

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2 Responses to “Breaking And Entering”

  1. BP_2 says:

    The most “whimsical” part of this story: those three senior citizens have been convicted of committing violent acts of terrorism:

    http://www.counterpunch.org/2013/05/15/how-the-us-turned-three-pacifists-into-violent-terrorists/

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