The Murder Report tallies all the on-screen kills in the console makers’ E3 press events.
Microsoft and Sony have had their turns in the Murder Report, and now it’s time to tote up the bodies for Nintendo. In lieu of a stadium-type event this year, we got a Nintendo Direct streaming-video keynote that Nintendo sent out over its YouTubes. In terms of death, it’s a pitiful performance. If it weren’t for a “sizzle reel” of third-party games that are coming to the Wii U, Nintendo wouldn’t even have had a single gun death. Uh, can somebody call Kyoto HQ and tell them that it’s E3 week?
But do not lose hope. Thanks to the the strong efforts of Nintendo’s competitors, we still have a new record for total killings across all three press events. (In fact, Microsoft alone killed more than all three companies did in their E3 keynotes last year.) That makes E3 2013 a big win for game lovers everywhere! Here’s to even more slaughter in 2014!
Let’s give one last tip of the hat to Matt Kodner, who compiled the body counts for all of the press events this week. Thanks, Matt!