Out This Week

Red Wedding

In this week’s new releases, some violent wedding crashers take things too far, and we remember departed crime fighters.

By Drew Toal • July 16, 2013

Out This Week is a look at a few new games that are out this week.

Time And Eternity
PlayStation 3—July 16

I could not understand, at all, what this game was about from the trailer alone, so I looked it up on Wikipedia: “The game opens with a wedding between the player character, Toki, and her fiancée, Zack, which is rudely interrupted by an assassin attack. Zack is killed, and this brings out Toki’s meaner alter ego, Towa. After an undisclosed series of events, Toki finds herself flitting back and forth through the passage of time.”

Well, that clears it right up. Killing a fellow at his wedding is quite rude, not to mention a buzzkill for the reception. Just who is going to want to do the chicken dance after watching the groom get stabbed? Toki/Towa uses what looks like a Civil War-era musket against an array of enormous space monsters, and Zack’s soul apparently inhabits a tiny dragon who accompanies Toki on her adventures through time. Marriage certainly is complicated.

Dynasty Warriors 8
PlayStation 3, Xbox 360—July 16

When you get to the eighth installment of any series, you know you’ve hit on a formula that works. Dynasty Warriors has stuck to the script and enjoyed prolonged success. Police Academy, the gold standard for unending sequels, only made it to seven. (The last film was Mission To Moscow, one of the more incisive commentaries on life in post-Soviet Russia.) There have been rumors of an eighth Police Academy movie floating around the internet for years, but to my knowledge, there hasn’t been any substantial progress. It’s not like Steve Guttenberg or Michael Winslow can be that busy, right? The big impediment to a reboot, it seems, is that Bubba Smith (Hightower) and David Graf (Tackleberry) have since passed on to that big Dunkin’ Donuts in the sky. Even if you could reunite Captain Harris and Proctor, it just wouldn’t be the same. It is worth noting, though, that George Gaynes—the lovably dense Commandant Lassard—is apparently alive and well at 96. Kudos to you, sir.

R.I.P.D.: The Game
PC, PlayStation 3, Xbox 360—July 17

So there’s an after-death police force that protects the living from evil spirits? I’m not a big believer in the great beyond, but if it’s out there, this is how I like to picture Tackleberry and Hightower.

Face Noir
PC—July 18

Based on the work of Raymond Chandler, Face Noir is a point-and-click adventure game set in 1934 New York. Incidentally, that’s the same year the movie version of Dashiell Hammett’s The Thin Man hit the big screens, starring William Powell as private detective Nick Charles and Myrna Loy as his wife, Nora. Hammett was a contemporary of Chandler and wrote similarly hard-boiled detective fare. The movies, while enjoyable, aren’t all that faithful to the source material, but they are notable in that Nick Charles is rarely without a martini or highball glass, and he still manages to solve even the most baffling crimes with ease. I’ve never counted how many drinks he consumes through an entire film, but this dude has to be the most functional alcoholic in the history of cinema. And his wife is no slouch, either.

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78 Responses to “Red Wedding”

  1. Fluka says:

    Someone made a game about the Rhode Island Police Department?  Cool.

  2. Spacemonkey Mafia says:

    Steve Guttenberg is too busy collecting art and wine and having impromptu script-reading birthday parties to be bothered with another Police Academy.
       So, how’s everyone’s Steam Sale going?  I’ve picked up DishonoredFallout: New Vegas and Deus Ex: The Missing Link.
       I think that might be it for me this year.  Possibly Blood Dragon if that shows up, and I’m debating Fez.

    • Fluka says:

      I have been holding strong.  Only major purchase is XCOM for $10 so far.  Waiting to see if Alpha Protocol drops any lower than $7.50.  Also picked up Skyrim: Hearthfire and Universe Sandbox, both for less than $3.  Resisted, otherwise!

      What helps: I’m currently playing through the “best of my backlog” (Portal 2, KOTOR).  If there are things this good in the games I’ve already purchased, what need do I have for more sales?

    • Raging Bear says:

      I bought Borderlands 2 despite already having it for PS3, because I apparently just have too much money cluttering up the place.

      But hey, it was cheap, plus I can try it with keyboard+mouse instead of controller, and now there’s slightly more possibility of maybe ever actually playing co-op (although I probably still never will).

    • The_Helmaroc_King says:

      I’ve been atypically frugal, given my history with these sales, but it’s not much of an achievement when I already own most of the games I would consider buying. I haven’t bought anything outside of the daily deals or the flash sales, at least.

      I would like more trading cards, though. Given their prices on the community market, it would be more frugal for me to buy them at $0.20 apiece than getting one free with $10.00 of games I won’t be playing. Prices already seem to be at their nadir, so I should look into it before the sale ends.

      • neodocT says:

        Hey, if you’re interested in trading, I have an extra Chivalry trading card for the Summer Sale Badge. I’m still missing the Tomb Raider, Kerbal Space Program and Bioshock Infinite cards to complete the collection. 

      • I’ve got three Don’t Starves!  Somebody take these off my hands!  Anybody got doubles?

        • Spacemonkey Mafia says:

          I’ve got some games that I’ll likely never play.  You can check and see if there are any you want to trade.  I’ll hit you up on Steam later.

        • 2StoryOuthouse says:

          I’m guessing it’s extremely unlikely you don’t have a copy of the original Bioshock, but if you (or anyone else) wants one for some reason, I’m willing to make a trade. That’s my only double.

    • Brainstrain says:

      I’ve gotten Fez and Reus so far. That should be about it since I got Dust on sale a few weeks ago. Total spent: $15? :D

      Or maybe slightly more. Can’t remember how much I payed for Dust…

    • neodocT says:

      I’ll like any comment with a Party Down reference. It’s an involuntary reflex!

      As to the Steam Sale, I’ve picked up Skyrim, both Fallouts and also Darksiders II just because it was really cheap. I’m still interested in Fez and Monaco, but I can wait until the price is lower. I’ve also got Alpha Protocol on the ol’ wishlist, but that price just won’t go down!

      I’ve been playing Skyrim these past few days and the gameplay is awesome, though the setting’s pretty meh. I know there are mods, but I do wish they remade Morrowind with Skyrim’s gameplay…

      • Fluka says:

        Oh damn, good catch!  My fevered brain (siiiiiiick) totally missed the Party Down reference there.

        *Stamps:* LIKED

      • “He wants to have sex with a porcupine, but it’s poking him.”

      • Spacemonkey Mafia says:

        I’m playing Darksiders II right now, picked up from a Humble Bundle.  It’s dumb as rocks, but god help me, I really really enjoy it.
           It’s the game equivalent of the paperback I’d be hiding the cover of while reading on the bus.

        • Bakken Hood says:

          No argument here.  No redeeming value beyond being really, really, extremely enjoyable.  Fingers crossed that Nordic Games is just as good as THQ at borrowing ideas.

      • Andy Tuttle says:

        What’s Party Down?

        Nah, just playing.

      • Girard says:

        Does “both Fallouts” mean 1&2 or 3&NV?

        • neodocT says:

           3 and New Vegas. I didn’t even know they had the old ones on Steam! And Brotherhood of Steel too, never played that one!

    • Merve says:

      I’ve purchased Bastion, Thomas Was Alone, the Ben There, Dan That!/Time Gentlemen, Please! combo pack, and the Wheels of Fury DLC for Sleeping Dogs. That has kept my damage to under $9.  That is subject to change, though, if other games I want get discounted.

      • I just now bought all the Sleeping Dogs DLCs that added gameplay (even if they’re just more street races or kinds of punches), looks I’ll be revisiting the MUCH COVETED CLEAN DRIVE RECORD.

      • WarrenPeace says:

        I’ve bought Bastion, AaaAaAA!, Delve Deeper, Ben There, Dan That/Time, Gentlemen, Please!, and Wizorb so far. I’ve got my eye on a few others to see if they go really low, but I’ve got enough of a backlog that I’m holding off unless they get super cheap. We’ll see if that happens…

    • Electric Dragon says:

      Dishono(u)red and Fallout 3 Goatee here. Which given the rate I play at will probably last me till the Christmas sale. Although it’s only taken me a month to finish KOTOR2 so at that rate it might even be before Hallowe’en.


       I’m a little hamstrung because I’m on a mac and I’ve already got a lot of good games. But I’ve gotten X-Com on the cheap, despite having it on PS3. The entire Telltale Walking Dead for like $7, Dear Esther for $3 because the people behind that are making the next Amnesia game.

      If you don’t have Don’t Starve, I definitely recommend it. Spend a good portion of my weekend trying to get over the Day 30 mark and eventually reaching sweet success.

      • I got Don’t Starve during the first bit of the sale, I really like it, but is it just me, or is Wilson (the default guy) the only good character?  The others seem very very risk/reward-y.

        • WELCOME_THRILLHO says:

           I’ve mostly stuck with Wilson, myself. People have told me that using Wolfgang is like easy mode since he’s got the most health and hits the hardest, even if it takes more to keep him full. The librarian, Winterbottom (?) supposedly doesn’t need the science machine or alchemy engine to make recipes, but I haven’t tested her out yet.

        • @WELCOME_THRILLHO:disqus I haven’t even gotten to the winter portion of the game yet, but, what, seriously?  Even the beefalloo and pigs go away?

          Also, is there any meaningful reason to build walls?  There don’t appear to be doors so they don’t seem like they’ll keep out the more aggressive hazards (killer bees, those werewolves(?) that spawn every several nights).

        • WELCOME_THRILLHO says:

          Http Lovecraft: Beefalo and Pigs do stick around; I’ve just found that during winter the risks outweigh the reward for fighting and killing them, unless you have a lot of more advanced traps at your disposal. Rabbits on the other hand, you can just put out a dozen basic traps and keep collecting them.

          Walls are best for building choke points, I’ve found. If you just have two openings at your camp and can make at least one tooth trap or bee mine it will cut down the hazards a little more. Hounds will spend a good amount of time just wailing on your walls before they can get to you, so they give you an opportunity to avoid being swarmed.

    • Citric says:

      This year’s sale is reminding me that my processor is balls (whee, bottom end Dual Core 2) and that I need a new computer. Of course, I don’t want to buy a new computer, because apart from not having any money at the moment, if I upgrade now the requirements will spike for all new things and I’ll be in the exact same position as I am now, where everything is designed for specs that are slightly more potent than what I can handle.

      I’ll probably get The Last Remnant at some point though.

    • Blood Dragon actually was marked down on the second day, but not put on the front page, if you see Far Cry 3 on sale you can assume that Blood Dragon is too and check it on the actual Blood Dragon page.

      Fez is 100% worth 5 dollars (and probably the full price, too).

      • 2StoryOuthouse says:

         They’ve been inconsistent with when DLC is on sale, which is really frustrating for me, considering most of what I was hoping to purchase this sale was DLC (or indie games).

    • ProfFarnsworth says:

      Being new to the whole computer gaming scene, I have splurged I bit more than normal for me.  I have picked up Bastion, Bioshock, Bioshock 2, Crusader Kings II with DLCs , all the Deus Ex games, Fallout: New Vegas, Just Cause 2, Kerbal Space Program, Legend of Grimrock and finally Saints Row: The Third all were daily deals, or flash sales. So far, I think it has cost me about $60.  I will probably be good for the next year or so.

    • Fyodor Douchetoevsky says:

      I haven’t bought a damn thing, which is fine by me. I have almost every game that I want on steam, and the ones I don’t have I’m fine waiting until they are SUPER cheap instead of just really cheap.

    • Roswulf says:

       I’ve only purchased Fallout New Vegas so far.

      That’s the only thing I was actually planning on buying beforehand; everything else is contingent on an absurdly good deal. Although System Shock 2 for $2.50 is tempting…

    • Andy Tuttle says:

      Despite my best efforts to save money for Comic-Con I’ve still bought Mirror’s Edge, Penny Arcade’s Slick Darkness Thing part 3 & 4, Tomb Raider Underworld, and Poker Night 2.

    • Girard says:

      I picked up New Vegas, Sleeping Dogs, and System Shock 2 all for single digits. They seem seminal enough that I’d be remiss never playing them, so it seemed worth it to pick them up for a song.

      I’d say Fez is definitely worth it, especially if you can get it for, like $2.50 or whatever in a flash sale.

    • 2StoryOuthouse says:

       I’m kind of surprised that I haven’t yet spend $20. I’ve picked up Tomb Raider, FEZ, and FTL, the last being the only of the 3 I’ve really sunk time into yet. Holy crap I can tell that’s going to be addicting.

      However, I might go ahead and break that $20 threshold tonight… what does everyone think, is the Dishonored DLC worth it?

    • DrFlimFlam says:

      Saints Row the Third, Just Cause 2, Ace Combat Assault Horizon, and Torchlight II. So I’ve spent about $25 so far. If F3AR ever comes back at $5 I’m sure I’ll get it. Even now I’m surprised I didn’t buy in before.

  3. His_Space_Holiness says:

    Everyone knows the Police Academy movies died out because the Stonecutters disbanded. 

  4. ItsTheShadsy says:

    Oh lord, Dynasty Warriors. I am both happy and sad that they still exist, presumably in the exact same state. I had a friend who was obsessed with it in middle/high school, and around Dynasty Warriors 5 he became incapable of explaining how they were different.

  5. Rick Joyce says:

    Apologies for hijacking (God, I hope the NSA didn’t just get a hit on me – err, two now with that NSA joke – ACK, THREE. Feels like the Spanish Inq…I’ll come in again.)

    I was wondering if you all had any suggestions for good, inexpensive, local co-op (2 players or more) games available on XBL (preferably in the under-800 MSP range). Before my girlfriend came into the picture (she lives with me, not in Canada), I mostly bought FPS-type games, which I subsequently realized tend to be single-player, at least as far as the campaigns go. Also Arkham Asylum, Brutal Legend, Ghostbusters… We’ve played all the Lego games, The Cave, Deathspank(s), You Don’t Know Jack, even tried Fable III, though it turns out that the second player feels like support, not an equal.  At this point, we’re reduced to playing Monopoly Streets. Games with a sense of humor are a plus, too. Thanks!

    • ShrikeTheAvatar says:

      Hidden in Plain Sight is genius and hilarious – it’s only 80 Microsoft Points (aka $1).

      I should add, however, that it’s probably more of a party game than a true co-op experience.

    • Dave Dalrymple says:

      “Scott Pilgrim the Game” would probably fit those criteria.

    • Merve says:

      I recommend Portal 2’s co-op mode. It’s fun, it’s funny, it’s mind-bending, and sexytimes are guaranteed to ensue.*

      *Disclaimer: Sexytimes are not actually guaranteed to ensue.

    • Fluka says:

      Given that I read an article this morning about its troubles getting onto XBLA, I understand that Monaco is on XBLA?  Never played it, but apparently it’s quite a bit of fun, particularly in cooperative mode.  Co-op heists! (Currently 1200 MSP, which is slightly higher, but still pretty cheap!)

    • neodocT says:

       I really like the recent Resident Evil games in co-op. I’m not sure they have them in XBL, but you can probably pick them up for cheap by now. And they’re not intentionally funny, but are hilarious nonetheless!

    • The_Helmaroc_King says:

      How about a couple of platformers?

      Splosion Man and Ms. Splosion Man are 800 MSP each, and they both have decent two-player experiences. I’ve played through both games in co-op and I’d say they’re a good time if the two of you are both passable at platformers.

      Some other games I’ve seen on XBLA that I haven’t played:
      ilomilo is a puzzle game for 400 MSP.
      Double Dragon Neon is a side-scrolling brawler for 800 MSP.
      The Fancy Pants Adventure is a simple-looking platformer for 800 MSP.
      • The Alien Breed episodes are top-down shooters for 400 MSP each, if you’re into that.

      I’d second Portal 2 as well, if neither of you get motion sickness, but it’s $30, which you can pay in MSP but it’s definitely more than 800.

  6. vinnybushes says:

    Shin Megami Tensei IV is out this week for the 3ds, which is pretty much an instabuy for me. Hardcore demon fusing mind bending jrpg? Sign me up! For those who are uninitiated in the ways of megaten games, this isn’t a persona game it’s waaaay weirder.

    • PaganPoet says:

      Another reason I’m considering buying a 3DS. I missed out on the Devil Survivor series for the DS as well.

    • Fyodor Douchetoevsky says:

      I’m playing SMT: Strange Journey on regular old DS now, and it’s my first megaten game of any sort. I’m having a pretty good time with it so far. I don’t really know what I’m doing so I feel like there’s a lot of gameplay strategy stuff I’m missing out on or not understanding really. Though for the most part it seems i’m doing ok.

    • Girard says:

      Out of curiosity, because I know they’re related, and the same sort of folks seem to like them around here – what exactly is the distinction between the SMT games and the Persona games? Are the games mechanically different, or just narratively so? Are the Persona games set in the same universe(s) as the SMT games?

      • vinnybushes says:

         The SMT games are actually grouped differently in japan than the U.S. There are multiple designations for sub series in japan, but in the U.S. the games all get shoved under the Shin Megami Tensei banner. Gameplay wise the main SMT games are usually about working to decide the fate of the world as it is being remade (SMT III which is SMT: Nocturne in the U.S. literally starts with the world coming to an end.). You assemble a party of demons pokemon style except that you negotiate with them instead of use poke balls. Most SMT games allow you to fuse demons or persona or whatever they call them and make new beefier demons. Main SMT games are generally darker and trippier than the persona games. Some of them are downright unnerving. The digital devil saga games where you transform into demons feature cannibalism as a prominent gameplay mechanic. This isn’t the most well written article but it does feature a fair bit of good information. http://www.hardcoregaming101.net/megaten/megaten.htm

        • Girard says:

          Weird. I know I’ve read that, but apparently it all slipped out of my mind.

        • PaganPoet says:

          @paraclete_pizza:disqus The only thing the games really share with each other is that you recruit or collect monsters/demons/personas to fight on your side. They also share a general mythos (lots of demons based off mythologies from around the world, particularly Hindu and Southeast Asian, as well as odd spell names: agi = fire, bufu = ice, zio = lightning, etc.) They are set in either a modern or futuristic setting.

          They also tend to be pretty dark in content. Even the Persona games, which are a bit lighter and employ quite a bit of comedy, tackle themes like inevitability of death, the power of rumors and gossip, collective unconsciousness, and Jungian philosophy (the concept of shadow selves and persona themselves come from Jung).

          The MegaTen games also are notoriously more difficult than the other two “big” JRPG franchises, Final Fantasy and Dragon Quest.

    • DrFlimFlam says:

      If you register both SMT4 and Fire Emblem Awakening, Nintendo will give you $30 at the store.

      Not bad, but I don’t know if I can bring myself to fork over $50 for this game.

  7. I’ll just excuse myself to go sit in a corner and be quietly excited about Dynasty Warriors 8, where I won’t be a bother to anyone.

    • HilariousNPC says:

      Did you watch the trailer! Zhao Yun (?) made a HORSE do a BARREL ROLL. HOLY CRAP.