The Bulletin

Reggie Fils-Aime

Ragequit

Fez II is dead, Star Wars: Battlefront isn’t coming anytime soon, and Nintendo fans turn to a man named Reggie.

By Sam Barsanti • August 5, 2013

The Bulletin is a roundup of a few game-related news stories from the previous week.

Fez II still canceled, Phil Fish (probably) still mad at everyone
Fez II logo

It’s a story as old as time: Video game developer builds reputation as loose-cannon rockstar who says whatever he wants, video game media person also decides to be a loose-cannon rockstar who says whatever he wants, developer cancels video game. Our own John Teti wrote up the showdown between Phil Fish, the guy who created Fez, and Marcus Beer, a guy from GameTrailers who calls himself “Annoyed Gamer,” but the important part is that Fez II is no longer in development. Fish has been relatively quiet since the fight (which is to say, he hasn’t been canceling games or jumping into Twitter feuds), but Joystiq managed to speak with some people close to Fish who were able to shed some light on just how abrupt this cancellation was. Renaud Bédard, a programmer who worked on the original Fez, says he found out about Fez II’s demise at the same time as everybody else, when Fish made his announcement on Twitter. Marie-Christine Bourdua, a producer at Polytron (Fez’s development studio), said “it was weird and special to learn [about the cancellation] that way, but I respect and trust Phil a lot, so that’s totally fair that he decided that and he has his reasons.” Really, “weird and special” is probably a good way to describe anything Fez-related. Joystiq has a few more statements from Polytron, all of which seem surprisingly positive about how this will affect the studio, which is a nice change of pace for such a weird and special thing that happened.

New Star Wars: Battlefront not coming for a long, long time

During June’s Electronic Entertainment Expo, Electronic Arts showed a teaser trailer for a reboot of the Star Wars: Battlefront series coming from DICE—that’s the studio behind Battlefield, which heavily inspired the Battlefront games. It seemed like a perfect fit, and it helped EA rebuild some of that internet goodwill they’ve been shedding since forever. Oh, but what is life as a Star Wars fan without crushing disappointment? During a shareholder meeting, as reported by Polygon, EA estimated that Battlefront would most likely be released alongside the upcoming Star Wars sequels, putting it somewhere around the summer of 2015. That is a long way off. How hard is it to replace M16s and helicopters with bowcasters and landspeeders? To be fair, EA only signed its exclusive deal for Star Wars games in May of this year. So if anything, this is probably good news. In my experience, the best part of being a Star Wars fan is anticipating something cool coming in the future, because once you actually get it, reality inevitably sets in.

Super Smash Brothers fans want to see Nintendo Of America’s president beat up Pikachu
Reggie Fils-Aime

During its 2004 E3 press conference, Nintendo introduced its new marketing VP, and it was one of the coolest things ever. Why? Because this new corporate hire was a man named Reggie Fils-Aime, and he took the stage by saying “My name is Reggie. I’m about kicking ass, I’m about taking names, and we’re about making games.” It was the coolest thing ever, and it singlehandedly made Nintendo into the massive success that it is today, I choose to believe. (More on that massive success later.) Reggie has since been named the president and COO of Nintendo’s American operations, and he’s always on hand at press conferences to say something cool. In fact, he has been so embraced by Nintendo fans that more than 200,000 of them have signed an online petition asking the director of the upcoming Super Smash Bros. fighting games 3DS to include Reggie as a playable character. This isn’t one of those White House petitions that force the president to weigh in, which is unfortunate because I think Obama’s endorsement would make this a lot more likely to happen.

This week in game consoles that nobody is buying: The Wii U
Wii U

In April, a Nintendo financial briefing revealed that things did not look good for the Wii U. CEO Satoru Iwata pinned the lack of sales on having “not been able to solidly communicate the product value of Wii U.” Well, if Wii U is any indication, Nintendo still isn’t doing a very good job of that. Also, as reported by IGN, Nintendo only sold 160,000 Wii U consoles worldwide from the beginning of April to the end of June. That’s pretty bad, and to illustrate how bad that is, IGN also reports that the original Wii sold 210,000 in the same timeframe. Yes, the Wii U is being outsold by a console that everyone on the planet already owns. Even old people! Maybe Nintendo should adopt Sony’s approach from E3 earlier this year and market their system by pointing out all of the things it does that the other systems don’t. It’s backwards compatible! It plays Mario games! It…uhh…does other things! Nintendo!

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  • Marozeph

    While i currently don’t have a reason to buy a Wii U, i’m kinda shocked by those numbers. Especially since the launch of PS4/XBone probably won’t do much to improve them.
    Nintendo quitting the hardware business (exept for handhelds, which apparently still sell well) would mark the end of an era – but then again, SEGA survived becoming a pure software-developer.

    • HobbesMkii

      It would be a shocker to play Mario on anything that didn’t have a Nintendo branding mark on it. But, then again, the fact you can’t do this is probably a lot of what the Gamecube and the Wii worth having in the first place.

      • http://www.avclub.com/users/merve,96925/ Merve

        You can play Mario on things that don’t have Nintendo branding. Have we all forgotten about Mario Teaches Typing?

        • HobbesMkii

          I also forgot the good ol’ TI-84 Plus.

        • George_Liquor

          You can play Hotel Mario on the Philips CD-i. And by ‘play’ I of course mean ‘suffer through.’

    • aklab

      I’m surprised at how low the sales are too. Although I am definitely going to get a Wii U at some point, I’m a late adopter, the price is still too high (for me), and I’ve still got a ton of games in my backlog. Maybe there are just a bunch of people who plan to get one at some point but are in no hurry?

      But I think Nintendo quitting hardware is not even a remote possibility. Don’t forget how decisively they “won” the last console generation, and the 3DS is cleanin’ up as we speak. By the time Sega dropped out, they had had two consecutive console failures and nothing in handheld. 

      • Marozeph

        Yeah, i’m probably overreacting a bit. Nintendo has beaten the odds before and they’ll probably do it again.

      • Sam_Barsanti

        Yep. I didn’t mention it up there, but while the Wii U is sucking it up, the 3DS is doing great. Nintendo isn’t necessarily in trouble, just the Wii U.

        • Persia

          Yeah, ‘people aren’t buying something that doesn’t seem any better than something they already have’ isn’t a big shocker.

        • Ah_good_the_sea

           Are there any figures available for Wii U game sales in the same period? It’s 9+ months since launch and it has less than 70 titles by my count, most of which are available on other (arguably superior) platforms. Compare that to the games libraries available for their handhelds, it’s no wonder sales are so low.

        • JohnnyLongtorso

          VGChartz has a list of sales figures, but it looks kind of outdated to me. Still, it shows how anemic anything beyond the pack-in and NSMBU is selling.

      • http://www.facebook.com/colin.mckenzie.1656 Colin McKenzie

        There are a couple of games on WiiU I’d play, but a LOT of games seem to be other consoles’ games from LAST YEAR.  I’ll buy a PS3 before a WiiU, and a 3DS before that.

        • aklab

          Pikmin 3 is my must-buy. And aside from the usual (a new Metroid, Zelda, or non-”New” Mario) I think the Wonderful 101 looks pretty great. My problem is that I accidentally became a PC gamer over the last few years! 

        • TheMostPopularCommenter

          I’ll get one when Bayonetta 2 comes out.

      • throbbin_bitchcock

        I waited for Super Smash Bros Brawl to come out to get the wii, and I’ll probably do the same for the Wii U. So yeah, it’s basically my fault.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000590707081 Chris Ingersoll

          Not just your fault. “The game(s) I want isn’t/aren’t out for it yet” is a recurring and valid reason.

        • Fyodor Douchetoevsky

          Yeah, i’m sure Smash Bros will sell a ton more of these things. And maybe Mario Kart? But i know at least 1 or 2 of my friends will be picking up a WiiU when Smash Bros comes out, and I can see myself picking one up if the price is right (it is definitely NOT right right now).

        • throbbin_bitchcock

          @Douchetoevsky:disqus , yeah I’m not happy about the price compared to the Wii’s price when I got it, and the fact that I discovered Humble Indie Bundle since then isn’t helping to quell my inner cheapskate. I think the success of the Wii U is ultimately going to come down to a test of our loyalty to Mega Man.

        • George_Liquor

          Ditto for me, the Wii U, and the next Smash Bros game. Had it been released as a launch title, I’d bet Nintendo’s fortunes would look a lot different right now.

        • http://www.gildedgreen.com/ Girard

          The 3DS is cheaper, seems to have more good games coming out, and will also let me play as MegaMan in Smash Bros if I so desire. I think to consider a Wii U, Nintendo would have to release an insanely gorgeous actual Mario game (maybe Zelda), and even then, I’m not so sure.

        • throbbin_bitchcock

          @paraclete_pizza:disqus , I don’t really want to play Smash on a handheld device, though. I love Smash as a party game; playing solo is fun, but not the same. Also, I had a hard enough time seeing some of those teeny-weeny Brawl items on a big high-def screen, so I can’t imagine what it would be like on the 3DS, especially now that my eyesight has been thoroughly destroyed from phone-squinting.

          Which is sad, because overall I think you’re right that the 3DS is a much smarter buy. But hey, I’ve got an addiction…

    • Unexpected Dave

      It would be a very different deal for Nintendo, though. Their software development and hardware development are codependent. They design their controllers to suit their games, and vice versa. If they’re stuck with a PS4 or XBone controller, they’ll be limited in what they can do. Would they be able to pull off another huge success like Wii Fit if they had to design balance boards compatible with both systems? Or would that approach bankrupt them like uDraw did to its publishers?  

      • Baramos x

         They probably could, on the strength of being Nintendo. It’s not as if there haven’t been third-party peripherals that were successful moneymakers–look at Guitar Hero. People finally got tired of it, after ten years and millions of dollars made.

    • Baramos x

       While they made less money selling those Wii units, they still sold a zillion of them. The fact that they are selling 200,000 of them in three months this late in its life span is kind of amazing.

      They might have to look in a different direction in their Wii U library going forward (like get a solid Zelda/Metroid/Star Fox, etc. title out there), but going out of the hardware business would require them to be losing money or be in the red, and they seem pretty healthily in the black at this point.

    • http://disqus.com/Dikachu Dikachu

      I’m still rooting for Nintendo’s exit from the non-handheld console market.  I’d like to play the Zelda games, but there’s no way I’m buying a console just for the handful of good games they ever have for it.

      If they put Zelda on the PS4 and I’d cream my pants… especially if they also did a “collection” style remaster for the last few games.

      • http://www.avclub.com/users/ghaleonq,4597/ GhaleonQ

        There is nothing in the arts more terrifying to me than 2 conglomerates not specifically interested in video games controlling how I play video games.

        Obviously, the only thing keeping handhelds from turning into Flash-or-whatever game devices and consoles from bloat is a pre-crash developer making hardware.  I say this even though I dislike 1/2 of Nintendo’s hardware decisions from the DS forward.  (I also wonder if the larger market would distract from the much smaller profit margins.  They’d probably bump up teh grafix on F-0 and The Legend Of Zelda just to create a nest egg.)

        I consider them a flawed savior, because Lord knows Sony and Microsoft have done nothing to earn my confidence.  Without competition, that 2nd crash will come sooner rather than later.  The only positive thing is that Nintendo Of America would drastically change, and we could get the weirder stuff Nintendo makes that we don’t get localized so they can preserve their family-friendly image.

        • George_Liquor

          Nintendo’s hardware decisions have baffled me since the N64. Even the DS seems like it succeeded in spite of itself. 

          But yeah, I wholeheartedly agree that video gaming would suffer greatly if Nintendo were to bow out of the console biz. Despite their bizarre self-imposed limitations, Nintendo consoles are the only ones that seem to put gaming first. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that they’re much cheaper than the competition, too.

      • Fyodor Douchetoevsky

        You could conceivably pick up a Nintendo console every few generations and get access to all the Zeldas and what have you that you missed, thanks to the backwards compatibility. I think a Wii with Gamecube ports can play almost every Zelda game out there, save for handheld games.

        • http://www.gildedgreen.com/ Girard

          And, uh, a Wii with homebrew enabled can even play the handheld ones…

        • Fyodor Douchetoevsky

          Yeah, I really recommend people softmod their Wiis. I actually use mine sometimes now!

          It’s also way easier than you’d think it would be to do.

        • http://disqus.com/Dikachu Dikachu

          @Douchetoevsky:disqus Unfortunately the graphics look like shit.  At least the Wii U finally decided to up the ante a bit, but I’ve seen Skyward Sword on an HDTV and it looks like Minecraft.

        • Fyodor Douchetoevsky

          Meh. Your loss @Dikachu:disqus 

      • DrZaloski

        Might as well ask for Bayonetta 2 on the PS4 and Xbone while you’re at it.

        In other words, keep dreaming. Sorry to put it bluntly, but I would eat my hat if Nintendo leaves the console market any time soon.

    • fly

      I’m unsurprised, there’s only one game out for it that I would buy. It’s called Pikmin 3 and it’s just come out. The other is called Bayonetta 2. Nintendo just can’t rely on weak third party ports. I need that ol’ nintendo feeling. I”m sure they’ll eventually come up with great things, but one actual released game I want does not a system sell. 

      • SonjaMinotaur

        I am in the same (Pikmin!) situation. $400 for a system that (so far) has only one game I want to play?

    • Cookie_Monster

      Nintendo not have to get out of hardware business, they just have to not make convoluted system where you have to watch screen on controller and TV screen at same time.

      • http://disqus.com/Dikachu Dikachu

        To paraphrase another commenter, I’ll eat my hat if Nintendo bows out of the “way too gimmicky to be practical” console hardware business anytime soon.

    • DrZaloski

      Not sure if I’d say Sega “survived.” Or maybe it’s that I wouldn’t say that’s a good thing.

      Anywho, we already saw this with the early Xbox. I honestly don’t know why everyone is flipping their shit again. Oh wait, yes I do! Bad news sells better than good news.

  • George_Liquor

    Even if Fish isn’t through with the industry, one wonders who in their right mind would work with him now. 

    • SamPlays

      I’m not sure “respect and trust” apply to someone who fell for the Internet’s shenanigans. I read the Twitter feed and the best part of the exchange was the use of the word “tosspot[s]“. 

    • Brit_in_BRD

      A poster at Kotaku pointed out that the Japanese indie designer Fish told Japanese games suck has urged him not to quit. Apparently that guy has the class Fish is lacking.

      http://hokutoandy.kinja.com/target-of-your-games-just-suck-has-some-words-for-phi-971242938

      • George_Liquor

        That the Japanese developer in question laughed off Fish’s remarks instead of caving his smug face in shows me he has infinitely more class than Fish.

  • SamPlays

    I’m here to kick ass and chew bubble gum and I’m all out of bubble gum. I’m sorry, is that reference too on the nose? 

    • Aurora Boreanaz

      I know that’s the official quote, but I actually prefer Duke Nukem’s paraphrase, leaving the “bubble” out.  It’s hard to sound badass talking about bubbles.

      • SamPlays

        I know Duke is not one for semantics but I need to know if he’s referring to bubble gum or xanthan gum.

        • Aurora Boreanaz

          “I’m here to kick ass and chew gum arabic!”

      • JokersNuts

        I have ALWAYS felt this way.  “It’s time to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and I’m all outa gum”  is superior.

        • Fyodor Douchetoevsky

          Booo! Rowdy Roddy Piper 4 life!

        • JokersNuts

          @Douchetoevsky:disqus I know!  I agree, I love Rowdy!  I also love They Live, so I feel weird admiting to this.  I guess it’s just the way it hits my ear… :-)

  • Spacemonkey Mafia

    I hope the whole experience of having a Twitter-spat fueled cancellation embitters an already unstable Fish to such a degree he takes on the dark persona of ‘The Cancellor’.
       Not content to order the execution of his own project, he begins a black crusade to forcibly stop development on all video games. 

       If he teams up with the diabolic ‘AAA Quarterly-Profit Driven and Franchise Annualization Man’, his madman’s dream may yet see fruition!

    • SamPlays

      I imagine him barging into developer meetings with a spiked baseball bat screaming I’M MAD AS HELL AND I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE! I’m pretty sure this concept is the origin of the next great retro-brawler.

    • Fluka

      I’m stealing this joke from elsewhere on the internet, but:

      What if this Twitter-spat actually is the new game? What if we’re playing Fez 2 right now?

      • PaganPoet

        In the game of Fez 2, you either win or you die.

        • http://starttocrate.tumblr.com/ Http Lovecraft

          The only way to win is not to play.

        • SamPlays

          @httplovecraft:disqus Reminds me of a quote from The Wire. The game is rigged but you cannot lose if you do not play.

        • http://starttocrate.tumblr.com/ Http Lovecraft

          @SamPlays:disqus I feel like I’m quoting something, but I can’t figure out what, and a Google-search isn’t helping…

        • PaganPoet

          Mine was Game of Thrones/A Song of Fire and Ice, in case anyone was wondering. (Nobody was)

        • Sam_Barsanti

          @PaganPoet:disqus is quoting Game Of Thrones, @httplovecraft:disqus is quoting War Games.

        • Electric Dragon

          My favourite statement of the Laws of Thermodynamics:

          1. You can’t win.
          2. You can’t break even.
          3. You can’t get out of the game.

          (I suppose 0 would be “You have to play” or something.)

      • Spacemonkey Mafia

        Same rules apply as with sex roleplay.  Do not include non-consensual players into your elaborate game development fantasies.

      • SamPlays

        I hope John Teti is taking notes in his puzzle notebook. I’m already at a loss.

        • Fluka

          *Looks up online walkthrough.*  ”I have the passport, the piece of tape, and the squirt bottle.  How do I lure Phil Fish back to the games industry?”

        • HobbesMkii

          @Fluka:disqus Hey hey HEY! Now it’s a party!

        • Electric Dragon

          @Fluka:disqus : have you got the syrup and the cat hair?

      • ItsTheShadsy

        When Fish and Beer start tweeting QR codes, I’ll believe it.

      • PhilWal0

        If this is Fez 2, then the in-game music has really gone downhill.

        • Unexpected Dave

          You’re just saying that because you’re not listening to Sonic Youth. 

        • throbbin_bitchcock

          Or me, the indie rock god of profanity!

  • PaganPoet

    Maybe people are more cautious now that their Wii’s have been gathering dust since the last new Zelda/Mario game? 

    It’s easy to rag on Nintendo, since I really haven’t been on board with them since the Super Nintendo. But I know I have to give them credit as well. What’s the difference between gimmick and revolutionary idea? Is it just the success thereof? They may have the Virtual Boy and the Power Glove as unsightly blunders in their history, but we also have them to thank for the directional pad and the analog stick. Truth be told, Nintendo’s boldness should be admired as well as mocked.

    • neodocT

      I really like Nintendo, and have bought most of their systems over the years (I still have a Virtual Boy at home!), but I still haven’t hopped on to the latest generation. I have neither a 3DS or a WiiU, and I just can’t bring myself to buy them right now. They’re just too expensive for me to justify getting one, considering all the other systems I have that are perfectly fine right now.

      Having said that, I really admire that they generally are very good at coming up with new, interesting ideas for their consoles. For all their faults, it does seem like they think of features to enhance gameplay, though whether or not they always work out is another matter.

      • http://www.facebook.com/colin.mckenzie.1656 Colin McKenzie

        I can get a used 3DS for about $80, but the WiiU is just pointless.

    • Unexpected Dave

      To be fair, Nintendo is not to be blamed for the suckiness of the Power Glove. Their only crime was allowing it to exist and promoting it. 

    • Baramos x

       It’s honestly just a lack of games. At least it was for me for a long time, and by the time the Wii had amassed a good twenty titles I was interested in, they announced the Wii U, which I haven’t gotten yet but probably will eventually when it is as cheap as the Wii is now.

      I purchased a Gamecube a few years into the last gen, and while I can’t say I was disappointed, the library of games I have for it is easily half or a third the size of my PS2 library.

      I think the Virtual Console is appealing, but so is an Ouya with an emulator. It doesn’t help that they do inexplicable things, like charging more for the Wii U’s virtual console version of Earthbound than for other SNES games, just because they can probably get away with it.

      • Fyodor Douchetoevsky

        Yeah, as much as I like the idea of getting old games without going having to pay out the ass for a cart or downloading roms, The fact that I can get new games on steam for cheaper than a single NES game really makes me not want to give them money.

        Also I think the Earthbound WiiU release has a virtual players guide that displays on the gamepad? That’s kind of cool and I could see that justifying the higher cost.

        But damn, sell them for like a buck or two, and I’d buy so many fucking games.

        • neodocT

           I’d be interested in a Netflix type system, where you can play whatever you want for a monthly fee. Hopefully somewhere around the Netflix price range, too.

    • indy2003

       The sad thing is that the Wii U really is a better and more innovative system than the Wii, as far as I’m concerned. The Wii’s “wave your remote around” gimmick is more immediately accessible and fun, but the Wii U has a level of depth that is really impressive. I’ve been playing through Game & Wario over the course of the past week or so, and while the game itself isn’t anything special, it does a terrific job of demonstrating just how many things the Gamepad is capable of. If Nintendo had offered a stronger selection of launch titles – with a particular emphasis on titles which demonstrated the full range of the Gamepad – they might have had a hit on their hands. Now, I’m fearful that the Wii U will quietly slip away before anyone even bothers to develop some quality games for the system (“Hey, guys, that Zelda game we were working on? Um, we’re re-tooling it for the Nintendo Ultrabox, coming in 2016!”). 

    • huge_jacked_man

      People don’t buy the Wii U for the same reason they don’t buy the PS Vita: there are no games.

      It will change, remember the 3DS started pretty disappointingly in terms of library and it’s only in the past year it’s become a genuinely great system with excellent games coming out one after the other. 

      I’m less optimistic about the Vita but I’m afraid Atlus will release Persona 5 on it and I’ll have to purchase one.

      • indy2003

        Yeah, I’m a somewhat regretful Vita owner, too. While I’m still amazed by the system itself, the games just aren’t there. Having PS+ (and plenty of free games) eases the pain a bit, but without that factor I’d be wishing I had gone for a 3DS instead. In fact, I’d still love to get a 3DS, but I can’t really justify adding yet another gaming system to my collection (the PS3, Wii U and Vita do enough competing for my attention as it is). The only hope for the Vita at this point is that Sony is able to effectively highlight the Vita’s potential as a second controller/game streaming device for the PS4.

  • Aurora Boreanaz

    I had such (relatively) high hopes for that White House Petition site.  Really, if enough people sign a petition the President himself or a White House staffer will respond?

    In reality, pretty much all of those responses were canned party-line repeats of previous statements.  The most egregiously bad example for me being in response to the petition to “Abolish the TSA, and use its monstrous budget to fund more sophisticated, less intrusive counter-terrorism intelligence.”

    They had the HEAD OF THE TSA respond, and he just spouted off what the TSA is supposed to do, and didn’t address a single criticism.

    https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/response/response-we-people-petition-abolishment-transportation-security-administration

    Anyway, politics is pretty off-topic for the site here, so I’ll stop there.

    • SamPlays

      Between this bulletin and “Thanks Obama”, I think you’re on point. And politics is all about obfuscation and indeterminate, circular arguments. I work for a provincial government (not in a political capacity, just a public servant) and there’s a real art form to saying something without saying anything.

      • Aurora Boreanaz

        Yeah…pretty much a politician’s entire job seems to be “say as little as possible about anything you’re asked about, redirecting to talking points at all times”.

        “Hey John, there’s a petition to here to abolish the TSA.  Since you’d lose your job if that happened, you’re the perfect person to respond!”

        “Uhh…okay.  I’ll just restate the mission of the TSA and totally ignore any legitimate complaints about our operations, the delays they add (which may likely be why so many airlines are going bankrupt now), the abuses of employees with about as much security training as the average fast food worker, the violation of constitutional rights of air travelers, and the complete lack of any actual progress against terrorism.”

        (Sorry, this is a major complaint of mine, because in my opinion, anyone who tried to hijack another plane in the USA since 9/11 would get beaten to death by the passengers, myself included.  We don’t need more security, especially not at the expense of civil rights.)

         

        • http://twitter.com/MicheleBach666 Dr. J

          Ok Mark Wahlberg.  

        • His_Space_Holiness

          On the hijacking topic, you’re right that it wouldn’t work now, which is why they’re more focused on explosives than knives. Remember that the TSA almost re-allowed pocket knives on planes a couple months ago. The 9/11 hijacking is the kind of attack that really only works once, since no one was expecting it. Before then, pilots were trained not to fight hijackers, because it was expected that they’d demand to be flown someplace and that would be the end of it. No one’s making that mistake again.

          Now you occasionally get people like the Underwear Bomber instead, so the TSA focuses on that rather than hijackers who would, as you say, get beaten to death in midair. As long as jackasses with bombs in their shorts keep scaring people, we’ll keep getting intrusive searches and confiscated shampoo bottles and suchlike.

        • Aurora Boreanaz

          @His_Space_Holiness:disqus  – Yeah, the TSA almost re-allowed pocket knives…TEN YEARS LATER…and then changed their minds when people complained.  (?)  (!)

          @twitter-499832989:disqus  – Say hi to your mother for me!

      • mizerock

        The White House has a really funny and honest response to the “Build a Death Star” request. We can hope for more of that, can’t we?

        https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/response/isnt-petition-response-youre-looking

        • SamPlays

          That may be the best response to public snark ever written.

        • Aurora Boreanaz

          That is pretty great, yes.

        • HobbesMkii

          Is having to answer that the reason they jacked up the threshold or was that in response to all the crazy secession ones?

        • His_Space_Holiness

          I came for the Star Wars jokes and stayed for the revelation that NASA has a program with the acronym C3PO. Professional nerd jokes are the best nerd jokes.

  • http://www.avclub.com/users/merve,96925/ Merve

    If Reggie becomes a playable character in the new Super Smash Bros., I will buy a Wii U.

    • Cloks

      Dream Characters:

      Oscar Goldman from The Six Million Dollar Man
      Spider-Pig
      Halo from Halo
      Sam the Eagle
      James VanDerBeek
      Pikablu
      Red Hulk
      Dermott Fictel

      If all of these characters are in it, I’ll consider buying a Wii-U.

      • Aurora Boreanaz

        James VanDerBeek’s “Hey, you’re the guy from that show” attack does 450 points of damage to The Halo From Halo!

        • PaganPoet

          ABC uses “Cancel Don’t Trust the B in Apt. 23″ on James VanDerBeek. It’s super effective!

      • Professor_Cuntburglar

        I think Halo is a pretty cool guy. Eh kills aleins and doesn’t afraid of anything.

      • caspiancomic

         Liked for “Halo from Halo.” The italics really sell it.

      • BuddhaBox

         Having not seen the new season, does Dermott get any less punchable?

        • Cloks

          Kind of?

  • nemryn

    “Maybe Nintendo should adopt Sony’s approach from E3 earlier this year and market their system by pointing out all of the things it does that the other systems don’t.”

    I thought that was Sega’s shtick?

    • Sam_Barsanti

      Well, it used to be. These days Nintendo does what Sega-don’t, since they still make game consoles.

    • DrZaloski

      I’m personally happy that Nintendo decided to be the one company that doesn’t act like children. They also don’t have any bad news to hide, like “HEY GUYS YOU CAN RECORD VIDEOS but you do have to pay for your own internet twice, but hey, we can’t all be perfect.”

  • signsofrain

    For the non Quebecers in the audience, in Quebec french when you say something like “c’est spéciale ça” it’s basically a polite way of saying “that’s retarded”.

    • PaganPoet

      The same could be said of English, at least American English. If someone says “Well, isn’t that special?” they’re most certainly making fun.

      • Sam_Barsanti

        Right. It struck me as not being able to think of a better way to say it. “The way Phil chose to do this was certainly…[pause]…well…[pause] special.”

      • Unexpected Dave

        Especially if they’re talking about… I don’t know… SATAN!

  • Celebith

    The WiiU is a fun console, and I hope that they develop more games that take advantage of it.  ZombiiU takes advantage of the pad screen for hidden information in PvP, and other games could use it for similar features.

    • Fyodor Douchetoevsky

      If there were a bunch of asymmetrical local multiplayer games on the wii u it would easily be in the running for a favorite console of mine. I saw someone suggest a DnD type game where the player with the pad played as the DM, making maps and dropping monsters and all sorts of stuff. MAKE THAT GAME NINTENDO!

      • Celebith

        Totally.  I think the Penny Arcade guys were having nerdgasms over the D&D possibilities when the system was first coming out, and any sort of asymmetric, hidden information game could take advantage of it.

  • PhilWal0

    Also in the news this week: our own John Teti has become one of Time’s 25 Best Bloggers. A well-deserved award! Congratulations, John!

    • Roswulf

       On the one hand, this is completely deserved and I fully support people giving attention and acclaim to Teti and the Society.

      On the other hand, I feel very sorry for the terrific amount of abuse the word “blogger” is subjected to. I know it’s not the most aesthetically pleasant set of sounds, I know some people like to bash neologisms as a matter of course, BUT NO WORD DESERVES THIS!

    • http://www.gildedgreen.com/ Girard

      Good God, the GS HAS BEEN A BLOG ALL ALONG AND I DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE!

      • fieldafar

        [shudders] I suddenly feel so dirty.

  • http://whatistheexcel.com/ Excel-2013

    Ignoring the inanity of the suggestion to insert Reggie into Smash Bros., I’ll go off on a limb and say it’s too late in development to consider any new characters. Also, Mike Tyson is a much better choice.

    • Fyodor Douchetoevsky

      You mean Mr. Dream.

    • Unexpected Dave

      I’m surprised that no “Punch-Out!” have been playable characters yet. 

  • LoveWaffle

    Maybe Nintendo should adopt Sony’s approach from E3 earlier this year and market their system by pointing out all of the things it does that the other systems don’t. It’s backwards compatible! It plays Mario games! It…uhh…does other things! Nintendo!

    “Nintendoes what Sony Don’t”

  • http://grantb.net GrantB

    I wonder how many Wii U consoles will be sold this week due to Pikmin 3 alone.

    It was the single driving factor for us finally getting a Wii U late last week.  My wife has been complaining about the Pikmin delay for nearly a full year now.

  • Phillip Collector

    It’s not so much that the Star Wars game isn’t coming out for a good long while, it’s rather that EA announced it way, way early, perhaps too early?

    A 2015 release date? Well a two year turnaround on a AAA title seems about right to me. No big whoop.

  • STOP_RIGHT_THERE_CRIMINAL_SCUM

    is it really a surprise that the creator of one of those hipster 2D indie games is a total assclown?