The Bulletin

One More Thing

Apple announces the release date for its console-killing iOS update, Richard B. Riddick returns, and Microsoft does another wacky thing.

By Sam Barsanti • September 16, 2013

The Bulletin is a roundup of a few game-related news stories from the previous week.

Apple announces releases date for iOS7, the one that will kill console gaming (but probably won’t)

In June, we reported that the next version of Apple’s mobile operating system, iOS7, would include support for third-party video game controllers. At last week’s big iPhone reveal event, Apple announced that iOS7 would be coming to its devices on September 18 (as reported by The Verge). Being able to play games off your iPad or iPhone with a real controller opens the door for more traditional gaming experiences (as in, ones that use a controller), so this should be a pretty interesting addition to iOS. It might also render traditional consoles obsolete, but I wouldn’t count on it. If it does happen, though, just remember that The Bulletin totally called it.

The new iPhone 5S and 5C aren’t really game-related at all—other than the 5S’s fancier insides—but Apple did bring a Donald Mustard of Chair Studios onstage at its event to announce and show off Infinity Blade III. IGN has all of the pertinent details. It will be about swiping and/or poking at your iPhone screen to hit monsters with your sword and it will look very pretty while you do that. It will be available on the App Store this week, presumably alongside the new iPhones on Friday.

Vin Diesel reveals existence of new Riddick game
The Chronicles Of Riddick: Assault On Dark Athena

The Chronicles Of Riddick: Assault On Dark Athena

Everybody’s favorite growling bald guy who can see in the dark or something is back in theaters, and the world has once again been swept up in Riddick Fever. Riddick T-shirts, Happy Meal toys, and lunchboxes are all the rage, and every other television channel is showing constant marathons of Richard B. Riddick’s two award-winning blockbuster movies: Pitch Black, and The Chronicles Of Riddick. With all of this hype, it’s no wonder people have been asking when we’ll see a proper sequel to 2004’s The Chronicles Of Riddick: Escape From Butcher Bay, and it looks like we finally have an answer. In an interview about the new Riddick film, Vin Diesel told Screen Crush that some of the team behind Butcher Bay and its semi-sequel, Assault On Dark Athena, had gotten back together to make a third entry in the Riddick game series. That’s all we know about it so far, but Vin Diesel loves to casually announce secret things, so maybe we should just ask him about it on Twitter? Oh, and speaking of casually announcing things on social media, Vin Diesel also took to his official Facebook page to show off a trailer for a new Riddick mobile game that is being developed by Tigon Studios, which is the game development house Vin Diesel started in order to make games starring Vin Diesel.

Sony announces new PS Vita without a screen or buttons (and one with all of the normal screens and buttons)
The Vita TV

The Vita TV

You thought the Nintendo 2DS was crazy? Sony’s ready to show you some real crazy! Remember the PlayStation Vita, with its wide screen and many buttons? Last week, Sony showed off a brand new PS Vita without any of that unnecessary clutter. Kotaku reports that this sleek monstrosity, dubbed PS Vita TV, is used for playing Vita games (as well as downloadable PlayStation 1 and PSP titles) on your TV, getting rid of the need for an actual handheld system to play handheld games on. You just need a DualShock 3 controller and a TV. If you already have a PlayStation 3, you probably have both of those things, making the Vita TV—and its $100 price tag—a significantly cheaper alternative to the actual PS Vita. This seems like a really weird move for Sony, but if you throw a handful of entertainment apps on a Vita TV, it would be a really cool competitor to the Roku Boxes and the Apple TVs of the world since it can play real video games (no offense to Angry Birds). If a handheld system that you don’t actually hold in your hands is too much for you, Sony also showed off a new model of the more traditional button-covered PS Vita that is, according to Kotaku, 20 percent thinner and available in an array of fun new colors. The Vita TV and the new slimmer Vita have only been announced for Japan so far.

Ubisoft notices a lack of Assassin’s Creed in your life, announces more Assassin’s Creed
Assassin's Creed 3: Liberation

Assassin’s Creed 3: Liberation

Ubisoft has always been terrified that you’ll forget about its Assassin’s Creed series. It thinks that if it doesn’t tap you on the shoulder a few times every 365 or so days, you might forget about how much you love to stab people in the neck. That’s why, since the release of the first game in 2007, there have been 12 Assassin’s Creed titles released on everything from consoles to cell phones. This year’s Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag isn’t even out yet, but that won’t stop Ubisoft from waving its arms in the air and yelling “Remember me!” at everyone who passes by. As reported by Joystiq, the formerly PS Vita-exclusive Assassin’s Creed 3: Liberation will soon be coming to PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, and PC with fancy new high definition graphics. Liberation HD will also feature “reworked” missions and more overall polish, so it sounds like Ubisoft is trying to make this the definitive version of a game people might have missed on their old-fashioned screen-and-button-filled PlayStation Vitas. But that’s not all! Joystiq is also reporting that Ubisoft will be bringing Assassin’s Creed: Pirates, an all-new sea-faring murder adventure, to smartphones and tablets this fall. Hopefully Ubisoft can rest easy knowing that we won’t forget about its most famous video game series for a few more months.

Microsoft implicitly endorses beloved Xbox One nickname
Xbox One flying

Sometimes we cover very important news at The Gameological Society, and sometimes we cover news just because it’s funny. This is certainly the former. In what might actually be one of the smartest moves from Microsoft’s Xbox One department in a long time, the company has purchased the domain name Unfortunately, it’s probably not because it plans on changing the new system’s name to Xbone. As reported by Fusible, Microsoft never filed any dispute over ownership of, which means this move might be a preemptive block against people who would’ve held the domain for ransom or used it as some kind of Xbox One parody site. Whatever the reason, this means that Microsoft has officially acknowledged the Xbone nickname, despite human-sized Xbox Live avatar Larry Hryb once telling a message board that he “[doesn’t] care for it.” Here at The Gameological Society, we’ve been on the Xbone bandwagon ever since late May, so if Microsoft ever does decide to start calling it The Xbone, we’ll know it was probably because of us.

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126 Responses to “One More Thing”

  1. Aurora Boreanaz says:

    *waits patiently for commenter(s) to show up and complain that we might hurt the Xbox One’s feelings by making fun of it*

  2. psib says:

    Are people sick of Assassins Creed games yet? I never really got into the series(I played the first game, didnt enjoy it much) but it seems like Ubisoft is beating that franchise into the ground especially with the yearly release calendar and mobile stuff.

    • Sam_Barsanti says:

      I really liked AC2 and I think AC4 looks cool, but the 4 or 5 other games in the main series didn’t really interest me at all. I’m assuming they still sell like crazy, though.

    • MintBerry_Crunch says:

      This years continuation of X game or sequel is the Transformers of movies (of videogames) celebrated like it’s the Citizen Kane of [videogames], and debated with the eloquence of gamers. (Could not find equivalent for gamers.)

      The release of GTA V is going to put me in a terrible mood for reading anything the rest of this week.

      • NakedSnake says:

        AC sells because no matter how cool you think you can get by “running and jumping”, it gets unbearably hot for at least 3 months every year.

    • killyridols says:

      AC II is the definitive game in the series, so you should play that before you condemn them all.  But yeah, I love the series and I’m getting a bit sick of it at this point. 

    • neodocT says:

       It’s a series that could be amazing if they focused more on each individual game, on making them more polished and distinctive. As it is, they’re good games, but if you’ve played one you don’t need to play another anytime soon.

  3. HobbesMkii says:

    When you play an iPhone with a controller, do you need a friend to hold it up in front of your face or what?

  4. Sam_Barsanti says:

    Readers! I thought it’d be fun to do a thread of our favorite Richard B. Riddick quotes. I’ll start it off:

    “I’m not afraid of the dark. The dark’s afraid of me!”

    • SamPlays says:

      “I live my life a quarter mile at a time.”

      No, wait, that’s not quite right…

    • The_Helmaroc_King says:

      “I may disagree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it… ON YOUR TOMBSTONE.”

    • MintBerry_Crunch says:

      *Displays teacup.*

      “I’ll kill you with my teacup.”

      *Puts down teacup.*

      Yes, yes, yes, oh God yes.

      • Chalkdust says:

        This is probably the only one I remember, but then, it’s the only one you really NEED to remember.  I loved both the Riddick games, so am certainly excited for a new one.

        Speaking of Vin Diesel and video games, anybody ever played Wheelman?  Decent GTA clone with some unique mechanics.  I would have loved for the vehicle-to-vehicle hijacking and “car melee” to find their way into Saints Row for example.

        Edit: Actually, I think Sleeping Dogs uses the vehicle-hopping in a few missions, don’t remember if it’s something you can always do though.

        • MintBerry_Crunch says:

          I’ve never tried Wheelman, but the Riddick titles are pretty darn great, heck, the man himself worked on them! (The first one at least).

          Swinging punches with Riddick’s recreated enormous man-muscles felt damn good. There are games released now that don’t capture that physicality so well. I could gush about that game for a while!


        • Aurora Boreanaz says:

          I know you can vehicle hop any time you want to hijack one of those armored cars, but I can’t remember if you can do it to ANY vehicle, as I don’t think I tried it.

        • Merve says:

          @AuroraBoreanaz:disqus: I believe that in SD, you can hijack any vehicle that isn’t a motorcycle, and you can hijack from any vehicle that isn’t a bus or a truck.

        • stepped_pyramids says:

          You can climb all over cars and jump between them in Just Cause 2. It’s one of many, many insanely fun mechanics in that game.

    • Effigy_Power says:

      “Its been a long time since I smelled beautiful.”

      I believe that instantly. Oh irony. I love you.

  5. Aurora Boreanaz says:

    On another unrelated note, I finally got Rogue Legacy over the weekend while it was on Steam Sale.

    Damn, that game is hard.

    Also on the Nobody Cares Because None Of You Play It front, I finally beat the Wall of Flesh in Terraria.  I now look forward to my home world becoming uninhabitable as its hardmode version.  Seriously…hardmode is hard!

    • SamPlays says:

      And on another unrelated note, Breaking Bad was DEVASTATING last night. Junior summed it up best when he said “You’re shitting me, right?”

      • Sam_Barsanti says:

        Junior OWNED last night’s episode for reasons that would be too spoilery to say here, I think.

        • SamPlays says:

          I suspect breakfast will not be quite so urbane the next morning.

          “I don’t want any fucking bacon, mom!”

      • This week’s episode was quite possibly the best hour of television I’ve experienced in years. I really don’t know how they could top it in the next two weeks, but I’m looking forward to it.

        Tangentially, I unearthed my long-missing official Breaking Bad apron over the weekend and am ready to get down to some serious cooking*!

        *probably chicken parmesan. Nobody in New York has the proper ventilation for meth.

      • PaganPoet says:

        I, for one, never expected a knife fight in the White kitchen. I think I had the same no-visible-teeth gaping frown-maw that Walter, Skyler and Marie all sported at some point in last night’s episode.

    • Effigy_Power says:

      “hardmode is hard!”

      That is at the same time very post-modern and deconstructionist and also true. A true internet-statement of the ages. That said, getting all the way to that is way too much effort for Terraria. I find the air is out of that really quickly.

    • neodocT says:

      NOOOOOOO!, I forgot to buy Rogue Legacy… My friend that I made get the game even told me it was on sale, too.

    • NakedSnake says:

      Even when you have the absolute tip-top gear, hardmode is fucking hard. It’s absolutely necessary to create boss arenas.

    • Mookalakai says:

       Yeah, hardmode in Terraria kind of sucks, becuase you’ve just gotten to the point where you’re powerful and not afraid of everything, and then everything can kill you again. There’s an update for Terraria coming October 1st, so I’ll probably get back into then.
      As for Rogue Legacy, that game was not at all fun for me, but I also could not stop playing it.

    • HobbesMkii says:

      I beat the Wall of Flesh on Terraria. Big ol’ bridge to run backwards on shooting cursed and flaming arrows at the thing. I actually think I enjoyed hardmode more, as digging gets really much easier.

      Like @Mookalakai:disqus I find Rogue Legacy to be less fun than I think it came off in the GS review and yet highly addictive. While it has a nominal plot, I think it’s only real point is to gain money in order to continue upgrading your character (I think I’m like level 70-something and I haven’t raised my HP upgrade past 12). 

      One thing I learned late into the game that I’ll share: if you find that there’s an area in a room you can’t reach, it’s because you’re supposed to be a dwarf for those rooms. As one, you’ll be able to enter bits where the wall is faintly discolored, then blindly hop around trying to figure out how the “secret” passage is shaped.

      • Aurora Boreanaz says:

        The thing that is irritating me right now is not getting enough money during my venture into the castle to buy ANYTHING, and then having to give away all of my money again, so I’m not making any progress at all.

        • HobbesMkii says:

          Yeah, I think that the game has, intentionally or not, a series of plateaus. I bailed after the second one. It’s good to put money into your base stats upgrades in order to survive longer. 

          If you can, try to find Charon’s Obol, which lets you keep all your cash on the next run through. Usually by the time you find it, you’ll have enough cash to buy another stat though.

        • Mookalakai says:

           Yeah the game gets really rough if you get into a loop of not getting enough money to buy anything in your runs, and being too weak to make enough money because upgrades are too expensive.

    • mizerock says:

      Dammit, I should never ignore it when Steam “spontaneously” shows up as active on my Android, by now I know it means something on my wish list is on sale.

  6. Effigy_Power says:

    re: The picture on top.

    Sexual dimorphism in video games is just nutzoid sometimes. I mean, what is going on up there? Is it “Bring your daughter to work Day” for Elric, Paladin of air-tight armor? How do people procreate? It’s like a cat mating with and then giving birth to a Doberman. Game over, man!
    Especially waist and hip-size just aren’t compatible and that’s especially glaring in fantasy games. The fact that most male fantasy species wouldn’t be able to get their giant bulk between the legs of their females pretty much rules out any sort of missionary intercourse.

    Why am I thinking about this anyways? Somebody must have put something in my turkey club.

    • SamPlays says:

      Two points of clarification:

      1) The amour suits include hinged openings not visible in the picture.

      2) Anal intercourse is the only kind of sex possible in fantasy realms.

    • neodocT says:

      Totally unrealistic. The developers really should be more aware of how procreation and sexual dimorphism among humans work in the real world.

    • MintBerry_Crunch says:

      What’s more off-putting to me apart from ludicrous waist-to-hip ratios (Oh yeah, dudes with salamis play this), is heroines with no muscle mass. Hello! That ungainly sword isn’t going to swing itself! Less hip strut more huff ‘n’ puff! 

      (Japanese games can be even more terrible at this, though in truth, they mostly all are.)  

    • Cloks says:

      Who says that you’ve correctly identified which character is male and female? I’m tired of people projecting their binary gender identities onto video games.

    • Chalkdust says:

       My favorite associated factoid is that if a woman were wearing armor like that in real life and took a body blow, the shape of the armor would drive like a wedge into her sternum, severely injuring her.

      • Effigy_Power says:

        Most vidya game armor is utterly nonsensical anyways. Let’s totally forget about the fact that armor like that would be a massive restriction to mobility, the boob-cups would be a huge weakpoint and the weight of those things would be crippling, but form-fitting steel would do a pretty shitty job preventing your bones from being crushed into powder with every blow.
        Armor needs padding or it’s just decoration.

    • djsubversive says:

      My first thought was “wow, the new Warframes are looking less and less space-ninja-y.”

  7. Cloks says:

    I love that Sony and Nintendo have at this point taken their handhelds and within a short span of time, de-invented them. Nintendo removed the 3D from a device designed around it and Sony made a handheld that you can only use when it’s attached to a television set.

    What’s even better is that I legitimately want both of these, when I didn’t want a Vita or 3DS before. The 3DS seemed nice and had a few games I was interested in but I’m prone to headaches and removing the 3D and dropping the price is great for me. I had no interest at all in the Vita but I own a bunch of games for it thanks to PS+ and if I can pay 100 bucks to access that growing library, I’m fine with it. The fact that I could use it as a media server is just a bonus, as far as I’m concerned.

    • neodocT says:

       Yeah, I thought the TV Vita or whatever it’s called is an awesome way for me to play all those PSP games I never had a chance to experience. If only Birth By Sleep and Crisis Core were on the PSN store!

    • caspiancomic says:

       The TVita (thanks @Douchetoevsky:disqus!) strikes me as one of those “so stupid it just might work” ideas, since it changes the way you actually use the device, as opposed to just having the device perform fewer functions. I mostly play my handhelds at home, bizarrely enough, and there are enough PSP and Vita games that I want to play that I’d consider shelling out a hundo to be able to play them on my big screen. The only real downside is that not all Vita games will actually work with it, since the original flavour Vita has inputs that the Dualshock 3 can’t emulate, particularly the tilt controls and the system’s front and back touchscreens. You couldn’t play Gravity Rush or Virtue’s Last Reward on it, for example.

      Still, a hundred bucks to play Persona 4: Golden, KH: Birth By Sleep, FF7: Crisis Core, etc, on the big screen? I’ll put in on the “maybe” pile.

      • neodocT says:

        But Birth by Sleep and Crisis Core aren’t on the PSN! And now you tell me that Gravity Rush and Virtue’s Last Reward won’t be playable either?

        Boo!, Sony!

      • PaganPoet says:

        Totes worth it.

      • Jackbert says:

        But the Dualshock 3 has the right and left triggers and the L3 and R3 buttons. The experience of Gravity Rush or Virtue’s Last Reward won’t be as it was originally intended, but it can still be emulated.

        I’m neutral towards the TVita. I do mostly play portables at home and have lots of free Vita games from PS+, but I still don’t know if I want to play Vita games on my TV. I’ll have to learn more about it to make a judgment one way or the other.

    • Citric says:

      This week it is taking all of my strength to not buy a 3DS, since the XL is a mere $150. I don’t technically need it, but there’s a Professor Layton I don’t have!

  8. NakedSnake says:

    I would just like to point out that there is a way that Ubisoft could get me to play another Assassin’s Creed game: set it in the future. And then the future future, where the robots have taken over, and then the future after that where aliens rule the world, inhabiting the remnants of our long-forgotten civilization.

    • neodocT says:

       I’d still settle for an Asian civilization. Doesn’t even have to be Japan or China. Give us India, or Cambodia or whatever.

      • NakedSnake says:

        Colonial India would be a really awesome setting for an Assassins Creed game. I would actually be excited about being a Thuggee celebrating Kali by conducting covert killings of cowardly Khaires. They could also have a mission that reveals the origin of the word sniper . To whit, someone skilled enough to shoot an India snipe.

  9. ferrarimanf355 says:

    You guys seriously need to let go of the whole Xbone thing, seriously. 

  10. chaddrobinson says:

    My Uncle Isaiah just got a stunning metallic Lexus GS 450h Sedan by working off of a laptop. site w­w­w.M­A­X­52.c­o­m

    • Aurora Boreanaz says:

      This comment has been flagged for your pleasure.

      Dub-dub-dub-dot I frigging hate spam posters dot com

      • chaddrobinson says:

        why don’t you just open it and click down and read about what I’ve shared.. 

        • Aurora Boreanaz says:

          Because even if it was somehow more legit than any of the billion other work from home scams (it’s not), and isn’t full of malware and/or viruses, it has nothing to do with the content of this site, so there’s absolutely no reason for you to be posting it here.

          And I see that your entire Disqus comment history is linking to this site and defending the link.  Go away now.

        • Aurora Boreanaz says:

          Also, how many damn uncles do you have?  Uncle Isaiah got a Lexus, Uncles Alan and Benjamin got Audis, Declan got an Infiniti….and even your stepmom got an Acura!

        • Citric says:

          I’m just kind of blown away that the bots have gained sentience, but merely want us to drive Lexuses. Unless the Lexus GS450h is the means through which robots will enslave the human race.

          *Crosses Lexus off his shipping list*

        • caspiancomic says:


        • Aurora Boreanaz says:

          @Citric:disqus  – Now now, don’t drag Lexus into this, I’m sure they have no idea they’re being namedropped in this crap.

          I did a Google search for “Max 52″ and all that came up were 52” ceiling fans.  So apparently you can buy a fancy car selling those online or something.