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Candy Box 2

Candy Box 2 is out, nom nom

By John Teti • October 24, 2013

Earlier this year, everybody at Gameological HQ was enchanted by Candy Box, a curious browser game rendered in nothing but ASCII text. It was good and sweet and surprisingly deep, like an everlasting gobstopper. Then the maker of Candy Box released a game for the McSweeney’s food magazine, Lucky Peach, and it was a bit of a letdown, like an apple in your bag at halloween. Perhaps in the wake of Candy Box’s delights, we expected too much from a game that was just intended as a little novelty.

That hasn’t kept us from getting our hopes up too high for Candy Box 2, which was unveiled earlier today. We’re all playing it, and it appears that plenty of other people have the same idea, as the site is somewhat slow to load. Early observations: There’s a village! There’s a lollipop under the carpet! There are sophisticated game-save options! I’d say that it all makes Candy Box look quaint, but Candy Box already looked quaint, and so does Candy Box 2. That’s the point. So let’s explore this new curiosity together.

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32 Responses to “Candy Box 2 is out, nom nom”

  1. duwease says:

    I was so close to being productive today. *SO* close.

  2. Spacemonkey Mafia says:

    What’s that? You’ve made a super heroin? Oh gosh. no thanks, buddy.

  3. Zoo says:

    Dammit. I was already super addicted to Cookie Clicker. now I have too games to leave on idle and check every few minutes? Great. Great.

  4. Enkidum says:

    NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.

    I have grant applications and papers to write and ethics fucking applications to do and data to analyze and papers to read and studies to prepare. You cannot possibly expect me to abandon all those in favour of this shitty browser game.

    *realizes he left work early yesterday and played an hour of Kingdoms of Amalur, which he doesn’t even like that much, weeps softly.*

    Is there any point in the original to go on once you’ve killed the programmer?

    • Newton Gimmick says:

      If you earn enough lollipops, you can eventually unlock a debug mode that lets you change the background and font colour, and raise your stats to ridiculous heights. There’s no new dungeons or anything, though.

  5. Matt Kodner says:

    I am producing 2 lollipops per second boys. Top that!

  6. DrFlimFlam says:

    I have not heard of these boxed candy games and based on the comments will pass them by.

  7. Fyodor Douchetoevsky says:

    Nope nope nope nope. Cookie Clicker killed these games for me, and I never liked them to begin with. Never clicking that link.

  8. duwease says:

    Wow, there’s actually some strategy to making the ‘next move’ for some of these. Tricky tricky.

  9. George_Liquor says:

    I shant! I shant!!

  10. caspiancomic says:

    Sawbuck Gamer lives.

    BRB, candy.

  11. Aurora Boreanaz says:

    I’m playing Clicking Bad instead. I prefer my candy to be the horribly disfiguring illegal kind, I guess.

    http://clickingbad.nullism.com/

    Though my purity level is now FDA Approved Additive, so I guess maybe it kills 10% fewer people now or something.

    Just call me Big Pharmeth!

  12. DrZaloski says:

    Ain’t nobody got time for that!

  13. CrabNaga says:

    I am currently halfway finished with smashing a teapot.

  14. NakedSnake says:

    God, it took me forever to figure out that eating candies increases your health. Now I finally beat the Troll. One of the best things about Sawbuck Gamer – and indie gaming in general – is that many of the titles are so obscure that no one has written guides for them. It’s like being transported back to that blissful and frustrating time before GameFaqs when puzzles within games were legitimately baffling mysteries and calling the 900 number hint line provided with the game was awfully tempting.

    • NakedSnake says:

      Oh wow… there’s already a guide online? LALALALA I”M NOT LISTENING TO YOU! NOT CLICKING ON THAT! TOO BUSY CLICKING FOR CANDY LALALALAAL

  15. chrisk says:

    that seemed really short. i felt like i played the other one for weeks. this one was done with in less than a week…

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