Pete StrackmeierVideo

Pete Strackmeier’s Living-Room Video-Game University: Get In “Touch” With Your Wii U

Nintendo’s new device is here to help.

By John Teti • October 2, 2013

It has been a while since we heard from Pete Strackmeier, the VHS game-tip joystick master. He was last seen hosting our Old-Time Treasure Appraise Show, and before that, he taught novice players how to set up a PlayStation 3. Pete told us he’s been distracted for the last year by litigation over royalties from a call-in tip service (“Dial-A-Pete”) he endorsed in the late ’80s. He’s happy to report that he won the suit, and the resulting windfall was just enough for him to purchase a used Wii U on eBay. He immediately set to work exploring the console and produced this indispensable video guide.

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114 Responses to “Pete Strackmeier’s Living-Room Video-Game University: Get In “Touch” With Your Wii U”

  1. harry_horse says:

    Genius.  More of these please John.

  2. Citric says:

    Somebody sure loves Andie McDowell!

  3. HobbesMkii says:

    Production questions: Who played Chet? 

    In unrelated news, Why, yes! Gameological has a Rockstar Social Club Crew

  4. Spacemonkey Mafia says:

    “Who is Pete Strackmeier and why has he been granted power of attorney, custodian of our child in case of catastrophic event and sole beneficiary of our will?” My wife asks, perplexed.

    “You wouldn’t understand!” I yell, hot tears streaming down my face.

  5. PaganPoet says:

    Where did you find the music for this? It’s so…apt… *stares in awe*

  6. Fluka says:

    Showing that I either have excellent memory or am a vaguely stalkerish weirdo (or both!), isn’t one of those two miis the one automatically generated for Soupy?

    I missed this.

  7. Enkidum says:

    I love how poor the settings for the TV must be to make everything that blue. And the correction to add the “-San”. Lovely.

    • GhaleonQ says:

      All I want this Christmas from The Gameological Society is Pete Strackmeier taking over the site for a week.  PLEASE.  I need to hear his opinions on all of the hottest titles!

      • The_Misanthrope says:

         “And here we have Call of Duty Colon Ghosts from industry stalwarts Activity Vision, the plot of which revolves around you and your canine companion’s spoooooky misadventures in several haunted mansions.  Let’s have a look.”

        [cuts to footage of Call of Duty: Ghosts, with scan lines, as if taped off a television]

        “I’m sorry for the mix-up, but that appears to be footage from a military-based shooting-gallery game, with nary a specter, nor spook in sight.”

      • Electric Dragon says:

        Particularly “T.B.A.”. It’s the Game of the Year! (We just don’t know which year yet.)

      • caspiancomic says:

         Articles written in-character as Strackmeier = 1000% increase in readership and ad revenue.

      • a_scintillating_comment says:

        Great idea!

  8. Electric Dragon says:

    MARIO-BRAND GAME SUBSTANCE NO. 75-A is my favourite of the Mario games!

  9. caspiancomic says:

     Get In “Touch” With Your Wii U will stand proud and tall next to the likes of The Godfather Part II and Toy Story 2 in the category of “sequels as good as or better than their predecessors.”

    I know it would dramatically devalue the meaning of the word “favourite” to claim that every part of this video was my favourite part, but I mean come on, how can a guy be expected to choose?

  10. Girard says:

    I am slightly worried about Johnny-boy’s brains, guys. I think there might be a problem. With his brains.

    I mean, I loved how unhinged this was, but is watching the chief of the best videogame site out there succumb slowly to total madness a fair price to pay for hilarious internet videos?

    • GhaleonQ says:

      Depends.  As long as the state is not degenerative, we get Mashed Potato Brains John indefinitely.  That’s a net win.  Apologies to Ms. Teti and Mom Teti.

  11. Sa3ad says:

    I think my brain melted a little.

  12. Everlasting_Godstabber says:

    I love this so much.

  13. stakkalee says:

    This is brilliant John.  I started laughing at “Ugh!” (not a groan, you actually said ‘Ugh!’) and didn’t stop the whole way through.  Also, I had to pause the video at ‘A bowling-alley simulator for shut-ins.’ Because I was laughing so hard.

    • The Grand Galactic Inquisitor says:

      I really started to lose it at the before-and-after shots of cluttered gaming equipment.

  14. ComradePig says:

    DAIKATANA IS ON STEAM EVERYONE. OUR PRAYERS ARE ANSWERED!

  15. dmikester says:

    So good.  “Minigames that simulate fun” cracked me up more than anything else, but Strackmeier playing Wii Fitness for a second in the title credits was great too.

  16. snazzlenuts says:

    So, Mr. Teti, please tell us your true feelings about the Wii U.

    • TheOligarchicMe says:

      I don’t think it’s possible to have feelings about the Wii U. It’s like that episode of Coupling with Steve’s rant about how men can’t form opinions about cushions.

  17. Cloks says:

    Wow, I had no idea how small the screen on the Wii U’s joyplatter is. I assumed it stretched to the edges of the device.

    Great video!

  18. ocelotfox says:

    “Do you have what it takes to beat the Joystick Master?  Uh…no.”

    Loved every second of it, well done Mr. Strackmeier!

  19. PappyBojiggity says:

    I wholeheartedly endorse the Strack getting his own weekly show- 

    MORE STRACK!!!!

  20. a_scintillating_comment says:

    Toal-tally cool dude.

    Also, Soupy has to get a mention in there somewhere. 

  21. missmoxie says:

    Bravo!! 

  22. Okay, so the WiiU seems a little weak at present. People aren’t as enthused about it as perhaps Nintendo hoped they would be.

    Thing is, in 3-6 months, the XBoxU and PSU or whatever the heck they’re gonna be called will both be out and I think people aren’t really going to like *them* either. Oh sure, they’ll offer some tiny increment of graphical improvement. Promise more-realistic faces and explosions and blood and what not. They’ll both launch with a sport-y, football-y game and a shooty-murder-y scifi explode-y boom game that’ll promise to be ‘epic’ and what not. And there’ll be guns and robots or perhaps aliens or perhaps zombie and . . . um . . .

    Shit, thing is Super Mario 26B v6.7.0.3 is actually the LEAST derivative and warmed-over thing on the horizon right now. All PS/Xbox is promising is More Explosions or, Perhaps, More Dragons. All Hollywood’s got is more Star Wars, more Star Trek, more Harry Potter, more Jurassic Park. And when nobody likes what they do with those, there will be ‘reboots’ and reboots of reboots.

    Two years from now, I think the WiiU will be the *least* boring console out there and it’s candy-colored mini-games will be the *least* unappealing timewaster on the horizon.

    Death to Titanfall/Destiny. Long live NintendoWorld/CandyCrush.

    • Unexpected Dave says:

      woah there hitler

      I have no doubt that we’ll eventually see Pete Strackmeier puzzling his way through the PS4’s dashboard, and then trying to insert a Beta cassette into the Xbone.

    • Brainstrain says:

      I think Titanfall looks downright amazeballs, but the Wii U is still far and away the console I’m most interested in. Nintendo has all the franchises I like. Once they have some solid console-seller titles out like Super Smash and Mario I think third party folks will give it a second look.

      Maybe. Whatever. Nintendo can do bad all by itself.

  23. djsubversive says:

    YAAAAAAAY STRACKMEIER!

  24. boardgameguy says:

    I’ll happily join the Fan Club.

  25. TheInternetSaid says:

    Those movie posters are perfect.  Almost as perfect as “Wii Uhh.”

  26. F.Y. Jones says:

    Where’s the video?  Feeling kind of stupid but I can’t find it.

  27. Pepenator says:

    What?

  28. Jason Reich says:

    I’m not totally sure Octoroks are the monsters that stand in Pete’s way.

  29. Glenn_the_Frog says:

    Please tell me Soupy was John’s cat as a child? That would make me extremely happy.

  30. Chip Dipson says:

    So I bought a Wii U this weekend, and then I saw this video, and then I did that thing where you’re laughing and crying at the same time but this time was different because I wasn’t shoveling mint chocolate chip ice cream into my mouth.

    Also, I completely understand the jokes about the Wii U and the frustrations, because there is so much potential to this system that is being squandered. There are certain games in Nintendoland, once you get past the nightmare screen, that are a ton of fun, but then you take New Super Mario Brothers Wii U, and it’s just the same turtle murder we’ve played for the last, I don’t know, 49 years? That seems like the right amount of years.

    I am however, cautiously optimistic about the new Mario 3D land.